Flames in Our Veins

Ashley: Sorry about brushing you off the entire night.

Ashley: Guess I just needed some time alone.

Ashley: But you can come over if you'd like...

The morning sun creeping through the curtain was more like a blaring light pointed directly at his face.

Pulling the sheets over his face, John squeezed his eyes shut once again before turning so that he lay on his side, facing the wall. Beyond the bedroom door, he heard the sound of voices laughing and engaging in conversations while he drowned in the sound of a lawn mower and birds chirping. Needless to say, he was suffering from, yet again, another hangover. However, it appeared to be one of the worst hangovers he had experienced the entire summer.

While he lay in bed, which appeared to be Max's bed, he heard the door creak open and footsteps make their way across the room until he felt a lowering on the other side of the bed. John let out a muffled groan and hid underneath the sheets, the light still causing his head more pain. After a few seconds, he felt a hand shove his legs and the sound of a throat being cleared.

"John? You, uh, awake?" It was Garrett. He knew he could always count on him.

Tossing himself so that his body was now facing towards the door, John slowly slid the sheet down his face, just enough so that his eyes were visible to Garrett. With another muffled groan, he nodded.

"We... we kind of need to talk about the shit that went down last night."

He rubbed his eyes and looked over to see the familiar necessities that were placed on the bedside table, Advil and a glass of water. With every ounce of energy he had in him, John pushed himself up so that he was now sitting up, facing Garrett. He reached for the tablets, popped them into his mouth, and them downed the glass of water. Once he finished that, he looked back at his friend and pressed his lips together.

"I don't remember anything," John said after a while.

Garrett leaned forward, resting his elbows along his legs as he widened his eyes. "You''re lying. You must remember some things."

John thought for a moment. Sure, his memory was fuzzy from the events of last night, but nothing was coming to him. However, he pressed on and did his best to regain a memory, or two. The tall man ran his hand through his greasy hair before shifting himself on the bed. There were his friends, and he remembered hanging out with them by the wall. John remembered being with Ashley last night; he remembered about Ryan and how he broke things off with Ash. He also remembered Reagan and how he heard noises of her and Ryan come from behind her bedroom door...

He looked back at Garrett and shrugged. "I told you about Reagan and Ryan, right? About how I heard the two of them fucking in her bedroom?"

Garrett nodded. "Yeah. Well, you told Kenny and Jared, but then they told me before the whole argument between-"

"-Between Ash and Rae?"

"Yeah."

"I remember that."

"Okay. Do you remember anything after that?"

It was frustrating him that he couldn't remember anything because then he was completely aware that he had fucked up horribly. Whatever he had done, it must have been bad, otherwise Garrett wouldn't have come into the room to ask him if he remembered anything or not. John let out a groan before rising onto his feet.

"Can we do this later? I'm fucking starving, Gare." And with that, John stormed out of the room and walked towards the kitchen where, of course, everyone was at, but as he walked down the hallway, he heard their voices and laughter coming from each and every one of them. By the tone and pitch of their laugh, John was able to make out who was laughing. He knew them that well. His best friends.

As soon as he reached the end of the hallway, the voices from his friends all calmed down until there was nothing but silence. John took in a deep breath and glanced at every single one of his friends, eyeing them slowly before walking to the table where plates of bacon, eggs, and toast were placed. John looked up at Tim and shrugged. "What?" He asked in a tone that came off as unpleasant. Tim pursed his lips together and shot the rest of the guys a look.

Once John took a seat at the table, he faced the guys and then eventually, rolled his eyes. "What the hell is wrong with you guys?"

Halvo cleared his throat first.

"You fucked up last night."

Kennedy spoke up afterwards. "Well, you fucked... last night."

It took a second for John to realize what was going on. Still, things weren't clear to him yet.

"What?" He asked after biting into a piece of bacon.

The guys continued to look at John, then they all looked at one another, and they all had that same look on thier faces. Nobody even dared to speak up after John brushed them off once again, so they let him eat until someone decided to tell him what was going on. Minutes later, Garrett walked back into the kitchen and eyed the rest of the group. "Well?" He asked them and they all shrugged their shoulders. The vibes in the entire room were instantly killed the moment John shot them death glares, which were mostly from the hangover and then possibly because the guys' reactions were overall weird.

"God damn it, guys." Garrett exclaimed. "John Cornelius O'Callaghan the fifth... you had sex with Reagan last night!"

Mid bite, John dropped the piece of bacon and turned towards Garrett, his eyes shooting him a look that was full of judgement because John knew it couldn't be true. He wouldn't do that, especially after what Reagan had done to him and Ashley, but most importantly, to Ashley. After having talked about losing his virginity to Reagan, his mind had gone on a completely different course after the argument he had witnessed between his best friend and ex-muse. He cut that fucking cord the moment he heard the noises beyond that door of hers. Reagan? He had sex with Reagan? He lost his virginity to her? No, he thought to himself. It couldn't have been true.

But actually, it would have. John had no recollection of what happened after Ashley left the party. And the only thing he remembered after that was having a few drinks alone before talking to the guys. What could possibly have happened afterwards?

Unless he went up to Reagan's room completely wasted...

"- I thought maybe you were upstairs... And it was already 1 in the fucking morning... I walked into, what I believed, was the restroom... Turns out it was Reagan's room and... I walked into the two of you getting a little crazy all over the place." John sat quietly at the kitchen table as he listened to Garrett explain what happened. The rest of the guys remained quiet too, some of them huddling closer towards the guilty man.

"You pulled out and got up really fucking fast. You were laughing and then said goodnight to Rae," Garrett continued as he used his hands to add onto the story-telling. "I literally could not move; I was in fucking shock! But then you casually just walked out into the hallway and then we just left the house. And I brought you here because you had no idea where your spare key was and your brothers weren't picking up their phones. Damn it, John, you were a complete mess. Worse than the other night, I'd have to say."

"Yeah, I'm going to have to agree," Max said, nodding his head. "Garrett had you attached to his hip when I opened the front door. You literally ran inside and towards my room where you threw up. Thanks a fucking lot."

John groaned. "I'm sorry. I was a mess. Damn it."

The rest of the morning went by pretty quickly. After more story-telling about the previous night, John was 100% aware of every single thing that happened. The more the guys explained, the more he couldn't believe he actually lost his virginity to Reagan. He had given her everything; he had wanted that more than anything, but things had changed that night and still... he was a drunk who couldn't keep it in his pants.

Now what was he going to do about Ashley?

John realized it was time to head back to his place after showering at Max's. Even after the mess he made, his friends were always there for him. They would always be there to invite a drunk John in to spend the night, and even use the shower. Hell, they were patient enough to explain a whole story to him in order for him to remember or at least be aware of his actions. Honestly, he wouldn't know where he'd be without them.

Once he left Max's house, John started walking in the direction of his parent's home, but then he remembered the text messages that Ashley had sent earlier that morning. He stopped and pulled out his phone, contemplating whether or not he should stop by.

John: Are you home?

John: I just left Max's house.

After he pressed the send button, he waited patiently for Ashley's reply. Within seconds, she had responded.

Ashley: And I just texted Jared and he told me you left.

Ashley: I'm home so you should stop by.

Ashley: Miss you :)

He slipped his phone back into his pocket and made his way in the other direction, away from his parent's house and straight towards Ashley's. As he paced himself, his mind started to wander all over the place. He thought about how he would lay the news on Ashley. Casually? Or would he set the serious mood before doing so? John had no idea. He kept stopping himself, and then continuing on the sidewalk until he reached her house. Perhaps if he were to just come out and say it, Ashley would understand. Hopefully.

After walking to the front door and ringing the doorbell, he was greeted face to face with his best friend.

"Hey, come on in," Ashley said with a small smile. With a smile of his own, John walked passed her and made sure to kiss the top of her head before leading the way to her bedroom. As he made his way up the stairs, he felt the beating of his heart and how it felt as if it were to burst free from his chest. His mouth seemed to have dried up the moment the two reached the top of the stairs and he turned to Ashley and gave her a small smile.

"Are you okay?" She asked as she walked a little passed John.

He pressed his lips together before nodding his head. "Are you okay?" He asked with a raised brow.

Ashley rolled her eyes and pulled John into her bedroom. "I'm fine. I talked to the girls all night about it and I've finally decided to cut all ties with Reagan. She was toxic; our friendship was toxic, you know?"

John listened to her carefully and sat on her bed. "So..."

"I'm done with her."

He nodded once again. He was understanding. It was Ashley's decision and maybe he had to do the same. Cut all ties with Rae, if that was even possible.

Silence fell between them for a while, but it was a comfortable silence. John and Ashley had spent many days and nights together and it was inevitable to dismiss the comforting sound of absolutely nothing. They both found it very soothing; they both saw it was an opportunity to collect themselves even just for a few seconds.

Twiddling with his thumbs, he glanced around the room he was so familiar with. His best friend was a perfectionist and a bit of a clean-freak. He first noticed it during their times in middle school when Ashley refused to slide during her Softball games. There was also a time when she took extra time during a thirty-minute challenge Science project their freshmen year of high school. He looked around and saw the trophies Ashley had collected over the years and he smiled because he remembered being there for every single one. He was always there for her, and she was always there for him.

"John?"

He blinked several times, just enough to break out of his trance.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Did you do something last night after I left?" The brunette raised a brow.

John couldn't take it any longer. He could feel the weights lowering and lowering upon his shoulders; he could feel his throat dry up. He had to tell her now.

It was time to rip off the band-aid.

"Ashley... what I'm about to tell you may cause you to either A) Look at me differently or B) Want to end things completely. Now trust me, I'm scared shitless right now, but I have a feeling you might go with the latter. First of all," he said softly. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what happened last night at Reagan's. I wasn't expecting for any of that to happen. Second of all, I knew Ryan was there. When we first arrived, I went upstairs to go find Rae and then I heard the two of them inside of her bedroom doing God knows what. I lied to you when you had a hunch on whether or not you saw him. And for that, I'm so fucking sorry."

The brunette scooted closer to John and reached for his hands, her eyes never dropping from his.

John looked down for a moment, swallowed hard, and looked back up at Ash. "I did a bad thing. A really bad thing. This thing is the probably the worst fucking thing I could ever do to a person. And the fact that that person is you... I-I..."

"What did you do, John?" He could tell by the crack in her voice she was on the verge of tears.

Tears were slowly building up in his own eyes as he gave Ashley's hands a light squeeze.

Now.

"I slept with Reagan last night... Or early this morning... Fuck, I'm sorry."

The silence, yet again, fell between them, but this time, John knew it wasn't the comforting kind. He had his eyes fixated on Ashley's, and he watched the tears form in her sockets before they slowly rolled down her cheek one by one. Her face was still, her body was still, her hands hadn't moved, and John knew her heart was beating just as fast as his. Again, he swallowed hard and blinked several times, the tears rolling down his own cheeks before he attempted to lift Ashley's hands towards his chest, but he felt the force when she pulled away from him. He looked at her and saw the hurt all over, and he felt extremely guilty. It was coming over him and all he wanted to do was take everything back.

"Ash-"

"You slept with her? After what she said to me last night?! John..." she dropped her head and shook it several times. "She fucked me over! But God, this was her plan after all, right? First, she stole Ryan from me... and now you! You, John! You've always wanted her, right? Well, you finally got her. Congratulations. Reagan wins, as always, and I lose. I lost Ryan..." John parted his lips slowly as he listened to her speak. He could hear her voice cracking while her body shook with every word.

"Don't say it, Ash..." he frowned.

She shut her eyes and pushed herself off the bed so that her feet were firmly placed on the ground, her body shifting away from John.

"-And I lost you." The brunette looked away before pointing her finger towards her door.

"Ashley-"

"I want you to leave, John. For good."

John dropped his head and stared blankly at the brightly colored duvet. This couldn't be happening, he thought. This couldn't be fucking happening. To John, it had to be a dream. It had to be some twisted dream being controlled by Reagan because this was what Reagan wanted apparently. Ashley would never kick John out of her life, not after everything they had been through. It couldn't be.

But John felt reality kick in when he heard the brunette sob quietly into her palm which she had curled up against her face. He looked back up at Ashley and with nothing else to say, he rose to his feet and took a step towards her, but she took one step back.

"Ashley," he began but she shook her head.

"John, I'm serious. Please. If you love me, you would leave me alone. Okay?"

He did love her. He always loved her.

If this was what she wanted, he'd do it just to make her feel better even if that meant having to cut all of the damn ties. He knew what he did; he knew the consequences. Out of all of the fucked up things he had done in his lifetime, this was the worst. He already lost Ashley; he could tell by the way she shifted away from him. So without another word, John gave her one last look before making his way towards the door and out of her room, out of her house, and out of Ashley's life.

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John: Reagan?

John: Where the hell are you?

John: We need to talk. Now.