Change

“Liam,” My mom said as the doctor opened the door into a conference room. “Come sit we have something we would like to talk to you about.”

“What is going on here?” I ask as I take a seat next to my mom as the two of us face Henry’s doctors. “If it is something bad about Henry, please don’t tell me. I would rather not know.”

“See this is what I am talking about.” My mother says motioning towards me. “He will not want to do this.”

“Do what?” I say raising my voice impatiently now. “What is there to do?”

“Liam, I am Dr. Fox.” The female doctor in the middle states patently, “If I could have a moment I can explain everything to you.”

“If this is bad,” I state as I look over at my mom as she looks toward her hands in her lap. This cannot be good. “I do not want to hear any of it. Please.”

“If you would listen.” A second doctor adds once again. I motion towards him to continue. “We believe we can help your brother exponentially. With you help.”

“What all would that entail.” I ask.

My mom turns to me. “Love, before you say no, listen please.”

Why would I say no? I began to think, as I look at the three doctors confused once again.

“We have resorted to different measures in Henry’s treatments. He isn’t getting any better and with this new plan we would very much like your help.” Dr. Fox says referring to her notes. “A bone marrow transplant is what we would like to do and in reality. You are the best match to the transplant for Henry since you are his brother. You two have very similar DNA.”

“No.” I said softly. I knew exactly where this was going. A sick person cannot be eligible for being a transplant donor. “Mom, you can’t make me do something like this after you promised me I would never have to find out.”

“Um, since there is a history of cancer on both sides and what happened to you father a few years ago, you have a very likely possibility of having the same issue as him.” The third one finally speaks up. “You have a high possibility of carrying that same gene which could potentially cause issues in the bone marrow transplant, causing you to no longer be a donor and causing Henry to wait for someone new and getting sicker along the way.”

“I can’t, I won’t.”

“So you have no intention knowing if you carry the same gene that took your father from you two years ago?” He answers back quickly.

“I’m not to trusting in a ten percent chance of living.” I said. “It was my decision to never find out, and if it is alright with you I would like to keep to that; because I know I am just inevitably going to die the same way my father did.”

“I have seen people with worse chances than you Liam.” The female doctor says as I look over towards her. “And they are still here.”

“Please think about it.” My mom whispers to me as she places her hand on my arm.

“You two have honestly created the greatest toxic gene pool, mom.” I say as I get up out of my chair and walk out. I really shouldn’t be blaming her like that.

I don’t know if I can do this. After my dad became sick and I found out I could very likely as well, and to make it all worse; I would very like die the same way he had.

I decided to never find out. To just go about and live my life as much as possible, and when the time came I would just accept it.

Then there is Henry, sick and dying as well, and I could potentially help him, make him better, but why get his hopes up when I’m just a ticking time bomb.

A ninety percent chance, there isn’t much going for me with those odds and I know, ‘you have a ten percent chance of surviving’ bologna. That’s just a load of bullshit.

I’m not to being into optimism. How can I when all these bad things happen all around me? I can’t escape it for one day.

“Liam, please.” I hear my mom say as she hurries down the hall to catch up with me. “Listen to me please.” She begged.

“Mom, why even get our hopes up.” I say turning around to face her. “Why even would you think this was a good idea? You know I will do anything for him, buy why this when you know of all reasons why I can’t.”

She looks at me with sad eyes believing she creates everything bad in my life.

“You have this unbelievable amount of resilience, Liam.” She smiled sadly. “And I wish you would realize that. If you are content with not finding out, then find, go on living your life, but Liam, know that I am not as content as you. You still have a chance and you should know your brother could as well.

“But mom-” My voice breaking.

“For once could you please be a bit more optimistic.” She says stopping me. “I know you never wanted tests done to find out, but please. I can’t lose another one of my boys. Let along all three of you.”

“We have never been optimistic.”

“Please.” She whispers, tears falling from her cheeks.

I can never win. “You are getting your hopes up.” I say pulling her into a hug as she cries. “But, I will do it.” It’s not like I have much to lose anyways.

Well, except for Reina.