Status: This isn't supposed to offend, I'm sorry if it does

Rainbow Pride


'I'm gay, it is not a phase, nor have I caught a case of the gays... I'm not sick I do not need medication, it will not pass, and I do not need to see a therapist. It's easy to talk about my sexuality between the leather binds of a book, if only my openness could disarm the prejudice I see everyday in the outside world, but I guess it's a start right?

There's a lot of assumptions made about gay people, or what gay is and a lot of it is stupid. Being overly sensitive or emotional does not automatically make a guy gay, it also isn't a choice... I sure didn't wake up and suddenly decide that I would like boys rather than girls... it's hard to explain but I guess you could say that it was just a feeling of being different, and seeing other guys in a way that my friends saw girls.

My mum has always said that my coming out was simply a cry for help, she backed up her accusations with phrases such as 'he doesn't look gay' or 'a couple of sessions with a good therapist and he will be back to normal'… I am normal, the problem is my normal doesn't match up to what she sees as normal. My dad was the complete opposite , he accepted it straight away, and told me I was still his son and that he loved me... this was the reaction I had expected from my mum.

Coming out was probably the hardest yet best thing I've ever done in my life, the freedom I felt once it was done was overwhelming, and for the first time in my life I could be who I was meant to be without shame or confusion. During my coming out process I lost loads of people, people I thought would be with me through anything, and yet here I was fifteen years old watching friends and family members reject me.

As a person I hadn't changed, but the way they reacted was like they didn't see me as me anymore, all they saw was the gay guy of the family, and it hurt. All I knew for sure at that time was that I was through denying who I really was, but I won't lie... some of the reactions I got were heart breaking, and depression did begin to take over my life for a while.

I've been through a lot in my life, I've been abused verbally, physically and emotionally by friends, family and strangers, I've been spat on and ridiculed for just being me. How do I handle it? Well that's easy I turn to my dad, and my boyfriend, the people I know will be there to support me when I need it most.

It's nowhere near easy telling people that you are gay, but if you want to be able to truly be yourself then it is necessary... keeping it locked up and hidden will only set you up for a bigger explosion when people finally find out. This Diary entry isn't going to make you see what it was like for me, so let's take a look back at my life, and some of the experiences I have had to go through.'

Extract from the diary of Landon Barrett
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I really hope people stick around for this xD