Status: This isn't supposed to offend, I'm sorry if it does
Rainbow Pride
Chapter 1
Today was the day, and I wasn't backing out this time, I’d tried so many times before this moment to tell my best friend Kaden that I was gay, but I chickened out and I couldn't do that again. The fear of him walking away was almost overwhelming, but I knew that I had to be true to myself, and if that meant losing him then obviously I had misjudged our friendship.
He came over like he did everyday after school, sitting in my room listening to music, and doing our homework together. I looked at him a few times, trying to put together the words in my head before speaking, but everything kept getting muddled and I was starting to lose my nerve. Setting my pen down, I looked at him one more time before speaking.
"Kaden, can I talk to you about something?" I said my voice weak and shaky as Kaden looked at me his expression turning serious.
"Of course man, what's up?"
"There's something I need to tell you, and it's something that I haven't told anyone before."
"Dude, just tell me."
"First off this doesn't change who I am, I'm still your best friend and I'm really hoping that this doesn't change anything between us," I rambled, "Kaden I'm... I'm gay."
A wave of silence passed over the room, as I waited for him to explode, and storm out but it never came. Kaden stared at me for a little longer than normal, before chuckling and punching my leg lightly, rolling his eyes.
"I thought it was something serious man, don't do that... so what you like other boys, that's cool it doesn't change the way I see you. You're my best friend, the dude that got naked and ran out in the snow with me for a dare, the one that has had my back since the day we met."
"Yeah that dare was stupid, and extremely cold," I said laughing at the memory of that night.
It was midnight, and it had been snowing all day long, freezing cold outside but Kaden wasn't one to duck out of a dare. He stood naked in the doorway, glancing back at everyone who had gathered around to watch, and then he looked at me... I smiled at him stripping down, and on the count of three we ran.
Before that night our friendship had been good, but in that moment I guess we kind of realized that no matter what happened we'd have each others backs, and now thinking back to that it makes me wonder why I was so afraid to tell him. That's a lie I know exactly why I was afraid, but my fears were unnecessary... you see I know better than anyone how unpredictable people can be, and how fragile relationships are, and that was what held me back, the fear of losing my connection with him because of something that I couldn't control.
I guess now I know just how stupid I was for allowing my fears to control my actions, it was out in the open, and I still had my best friend at my side. That gave me a little more courage, but this was a process that would be done in steps, my friends would be next and finally I would work my way up to telling my parents and family... I know what you are thinking... I should have told my parents before I told my friends, but I wasn't ready for them to know.
Me and Kaden spent all afternoon talking about why I didn't tell him sooner, and what my plans were for telling everyone else. The truth was I didn't have a plan, all I truly knew was that not all the reactions I would get, would be as good as Kaden's and I had to prepare myself for that.
He came over like he did everyday after school, sitting in my room listening to music, and doing our homework together. I looked at him a few times, trying to put together the words in my head before speaking, but everything kept getting muddled and I was starting to lose my nerve. Setting my pen down, I looked at him one more time before speaking.
"Kaden, can I talk to you about something?" I said my voice weak and shaky as Kaden looked at me his expression turning serious.
"Of course man, what's up?"
"There's something I need to tell you, and it's something that I haven't told anyone before."
"Dude, just tell me."
"First off this doesn't change who I am, I'm still your best friend and I'm really hoping that this doesn't change anything between us," I rambled, "Kaden I'm... I'm gay."
A wave of silence passed over the room, as I waited for him to explode, and storm out but it never came. Kaden stared at me for a little longer than normal, before chuckling and punching my leg lightly, rolling his eyes.
"I thought it was something serious man, don't do that... so what you like other boys, that's cool it doesn't change the way I see you. You're my best friend, the dude that got naked and ran out in the snow with me for a dare, the one that has had my back since the day we met."
"Yeah that dare was stupid, and extremely cold," I said laughing at the memory of that night.
It was midnight, and it had been snowing all day long, freezing cold outside but Kaden wasn't one to duck out of a dare. He stood naked in the doorway, glancing back at everyone who had gathered around to watch, and then he looked at me... I smiled at him stripping down, and on the count of three we ran.
Before that night our friendship had been good, but in that moment I guess we kind of realized that no matter what happened we'd have each others backs, and now thinking back to that it makes me wonder why I was so afraid to tell him. That's a lie I know exactly why I was afraid, but my fears were unnecessary... you see I know better than anyone how unpredictable people can be, and how fragile relationships are, and that was what held me back, the fear of losing my connection with him because of something that I couldn't control.
I guess now I know just how stupid I was for allowing my fears to control my actions, it was out in the open, and I still had my best friend at my side. That gave me a little more courage, but this was a process that would be done in steps, my friends would be next and finally I would work my way up to telling my parents and family... I know what you are thinking... I should have told my parents before I told my friends, but I wasn't ready for them to know.
Me and Kaden spent all afternoon talking about why I didn't tell him sooner, and what my plans were for telling everyone else. The truth was I didn't have a plan, all I truly knew was that not all the reactions I would get, would be as good as Kaden's and I had to prepare myself for that.