Lost Inside

Emilia was dancing around her apartment, Scooter barking and running alongside her. She was having a good day. She was having a good week actually. Her boyfriend of two years, Adam, was finally moving back to Manhattan after living in Brooklyn for three months. Caleb seemed to be alright not knowing about his family and Declan seemed to be giving up on finding out about the Barnes’ - or so she thought, she hadn’t heard from the two in days.

Emilia giggled as she picked her dog up from the ground and danced around with him. She was happy. And then her phone rang and she saw that it was Caleb and she was even happier. She had missed talking to the boy the past couple of days, she had figured that he was just busy with Declan and work.

“Hello, love.” She trilled. “And how is my darling today?” Caleb sniffled into the phone, a soft sob sounding through the phone. Emilia immediately placed Scooter on the ground and stood rod straight. “Caleb, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing much, but um....can you please come over?” Emilia had her jacket on before he even finished asking the question.

“Of course. I take it you wanna wait until I get there to tell me what’s wrong?”
Caleb gave the affirmative and Emilia was speeding - to the best of her ability in all of this traffic - though the manhattan traffic until she reached Declan’s building. She liked coming here mostly for the fact that Declan had given her an extra pass so she could park underground.

Taking the elevator up to the penthouse, Emilia walked right into the house - Declan had a bad habit of leaving his doors unlocked - and he wondered how Clarissa kept getting in.

Caleb was on the couch, wringing his hands together. Declan was standing in the doorway, looking as guilty as Declan always did when he did something against Caleb’s wishes and then there was the random stranger who was staring at Caleb like he was seeing a ghost.

The guy was tall, muscular and a complete stranger.

“Hey guys...” Emilia dawdled. “What’s going on?”

Declan and Caleb turned to stare at her while the other guy barely spared her a second’s glance before turning back to gawking at the youngest - youngest as far as Emilia knew.

“Emilia!” Declan called out, rushing to her side and pulling her further into the living space. “Emilia, this...this is Jetson...Caleb’s younger brother.”

Emilia stood stock still. She wasn’t sure if Declan was joking or not, but if he wasn’t - and she didn’t think he was - then he would have some serious explaining to do.

This man was Caleb’s younger brother - he sure looked like the older one. How did he find them? How did he get here?

“Younger brother, as in...Declan can I talk to you in the kitchen please?” She didn’t give him time to respond before harshly grabbing his upper arm and pulling him across the room. “Excuse us, gentlemen.”

She pushed Declan into the kitchen then hissed at him to explain what the hell was going on.

“So I met up with his sister, who works in my building and she told me what it was like in the household after Caleb left, so I went and told Caleb and he said that he wanted to go and see them but not talk to them, so we drove down to Jersey and we were watching and then all of them spilled onto the lawn and started fighting and Jetson was really upset that his parents had thrown Caleb away, so he left and we followed him and I told him that I knew Caleb and then they saw each other and we drove here and it’s been so freaking awkward, oh my god help!” Declan took a deep breath and dragged Emilia back into the living room.

She had just enough time to register all that he said before she was standing in front of the two boys who looked like they had never really spoken to one another all their lives.

“Um...hi...I’m Emilia Retter and I take it you’re Jetson.” He barely took the hand she offered before he went back to staring at his brother. “I know this must be a lot to take in, I mean you thought your brother was dead!” She let out a nervous laugh.

“A lot to take in? He left! He left and he didn’t tell any of us where the hell he was going! You could have given us a damn phone call or something!” He barked. Caleb flinched. No one makes Caleb flinch. Declan went into immediate defense mode. Emilia put a hand out to stop him before he could do anything to the child.

“Now listen Jetson, you clearly don’t have the full story of what happened -”

“Of course I do! You ran off when you were 15 and you didn’t bother to give us a damn phone call! You were too busy living the high life in this fucking penthouse with your fucking boyfriend.” Jetson moved from his spot and began pacing the living room.

“Living the high life?” Caleb choked out a bitter laugh. “Is that what you think? I was homeless for three fucking years!” Caleb yelled out, standing from his position. “Do you know what that’s like? The only reason I’m here is because Declan and Millie found me half dead on the fucking street! How dare you assume you know what my life has been. You think I would have chosen to willingly leave my own family?”

Jetson stopped his pacing and glared down at his much shorter brother. Caleb glared right back. Declan and Emilia stood off to the side, unsure of what to do about the present situation. Would Jetson believe what Caleb was saying or would he stay angry and demand to be taken home? If he wanted to go home then Declan would have no choice but to take him and Jetson would undoubtedly tell the rest of the family that Caleb was still alive. What else would he say? That Caleb had run off to live rich with his rich boyfriend - Celeb only wished that Declan was given such a title - ?

“You never liked any of us.” Jetson almost whispered, the growl still in his voice. His hands were balled into fists. “I knew you...you hated every single one of us. I know you wanted to run away, always so jealous -”

“And I had no right?” Neither Millie nor Declan had ever heard Caleb growl with such intent. “You people treated me like shit. I got your leftovers, I got left home alone while you went out, I was your slave and don’t you dare pretend that you didn’t know that.” Another bitter laugh escaped his lips as he turned away from his brother. “In fact, I recall you saying something like that to me one day. ‘And here I thought slavery was abolished, I guess mom and dad never got that memo.’ Do you remember that? Because I do.” Jetson could no longer meet his brother’s eye.

“I wish I had run off because then at least I’d know that I was suffering because of a decision that I had made. I wouldn’t know how it feels to rejected by every single person you’ve ever loved.” The tears had finally begun to flow. Caleb’s energy had finally run out; he found it hard to form words any longer. “Please take him home.”

Caleb didn’t leave his bedroom for the rest of the night.

Emilia and Declan turned to face Jetson. He had hung his head.

“Is it true? Did they make him leave.”

Both knowledgeable parties nodded.

 “You know, I always knew that.” He cleared his throat. “I guess I just didn’t really want to believe that my parents could be so cruel.”
Emilia cleared her throat and turned to Declan.

“I’ll um...I’ll take him home and you deal with...” She gave a tight smile and led the way out, a reluctant Jetson at her heels.

Declan was stuck. Now that the house was empty, he could hear the soft sobs coming from Caleb’s bedroom. His heart tore. This was all his fault. If he had just listened and not gone to talk to Vanessa, none of this would have happened. The boy he was falling head over heels in love with would not be in his bedroom, tearing himself apart because of an undeserving family.

Sighing, Declan ran a shaky hand through his hair. He had a lot of apologizing to do.

It took a lot of convincing to get Caleb to finally open his door and when he did, he ran straight into Declan’s arms and cried into the man’s chest. Declan led the boy to his bed and sat, holding him as he cried. Declan knew that there were words that he could probably be saying to soothe Caleb’s grief, but he wasn’t sure if that’s what the boy needed. So Declan allowed him to cry for half an hour before he tired himself out and fell asleep on Declan’s chest.

Declan sighed for what felt like the millionth time that day, wondering yet again why he had decided to get involved in Caleb’s family life. Declan knew that he was crossing the boundaries of friendship by deciding to stay in Caleb’s bed that night, but he felt that the boy needed some comfort even in his sleep, so he stayed. And he didn’t have a care.




Caleb awoke in Declan’s arms and for that, he was glad. The night before had definitely not turned out the way that he had hoped it would. Caleb had expected that since Jetson had stood up for him that they would be able to finally be the brothers that they never were. He had been so wrong. Caleb wondered if Jetson had actually seen him in the car the first time he had walked past and had simply put on the show in the hopes that Caleb would confront him. Well if so, he got his wish.

The young boy wondered what had awoken him from such blissful oblivion when his phone began vibrating violently on the bedside once again. It was Emilia.

Carefully raising himself from Declan without waking the man, Caleb nearly ran out of the bedroom to answer the phone.

“Hello, Millie?”

“How are you feeling, sweetie?” Caleb sighed.

“I could be better, but I’m definitely much better than last night."

“Good, listen, Jetson had asked me to drop him off at Vanessa’s last night instead of taking him home and I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but...I think he’s realized the error of his ways. He told me last night that he knew what your parents had done, but he just found it so hard to believe that they could be so cruel.”

Caleb wanted to believe it, but...

“I can’t get hurt like that again, Millie. My entire life, my family has done nothing but hurt me, even when I was homeless. I tried to trust Jetson and he did exactly what I expected of my family. I just...I can’t do it anymore, I’m sorry.”
Emilia sighed, she had expected nothing less.

“I know hon, I told him last night that he might have ruined any chance you had at reconciling with the family, I think he understands.”

They hung up with one another, but now Caleb was wide awake and it was only 7:30 in the morning. He could expect that on his day off, Declan wouldn’t be awake for at least another 3 hours.

Caleb grabbed himself a bowl of cereal, turned on the television and waited.

Unfortunately waiting means that his mind has time to wander. He didn’t want to have to think about his family anymore, but how could he not? Did he want to risk another meeting now that Jetson might have his head on straight? And he was staying with Vanessa and she really did know what Caleb’s parents had done to him. She could talk some sense into her brother.

And then he couldn’t help but think about what Jetson had said about Declan being his boyfriend. Caleb felt so stupid just thinking about it. Why should he care about Jetson’s misconceptions? Because he actually wanted Declan to be that much to him. But the older man’s friendship was too dear to him to have it at risk by something as risky as dating. Caleb snorted a laugh.

‘As if Declan would ever be interested in someone like me. For one, I’m a guy!’ 

And why would Caleb think any different? For the longest time, Declan had been dating Clarissa, a female. Caleb didn’t know about the man's small homosexual tryst in university that his mother had immediately put a stop to as soon as she had found out.

Caleb sighed and looked at the time. 8:14; he had successfully waster 44 minutes. Caleb began wandering the house. He had done this many time before seeing as he had lived there for a few months, but the loft still amazed him by how beautiful it was. Caleb found himself in the small room by the front door, Declan’s office. Caleb had tried to stay out of this room as much as he could because there was always so much paperwork and Declan always looked so frustrated whenever he stepped foot in there.

It was definitely tidier than the last time he had been in there, but that was probably because Declan had gone on a strange cleaning binge that one day in November for no reason whatsoever. There were still boxes piled haphazardly one on top of the other in the corner, but there were no longer loose sheets of paper scattered all over the floor. And the boxes seemed to be dated this time! Caleb was proud. He giggled and sat on the large brown spinning chair behind the mahogany work table.

He felt like such a small child. Where Declan’s home lacked photos on the walls, there were enough on the table to make up for it. All types of photos, most of which he had taken himself.

Landscapes, strangers and that one family photo that he had absolutely refused to let Clarissa participate in because he had wanted an untainted picture with his mother and father. Then there were the pictures of baby Declan. Those were Caleb’s favorite; he swears that Declan was the cutest thing to ever walk the planet with those chubby cheeks, big brown eyes and missing teeth!

Recently, Declan had turned the camera to the boy currently sitting in his chair. Caleb pretty much dominated the left side of the desk. Candid shots of him sleeping, them laughing together, funny faces and Caleb’s reaction when Declan had first introduced him to the candy stash.

The boy giggled. He definitely had strong feelings for Declan and he wanted their relationship to advance into something more, but he wouldn’t care if it didn’t because....because for the first time in his life, Caleb was happy. He was satisfied with his lot and he wouldn’t change that for the world.




Caleb laughed, attempting to bury himself deeper into the couch. Declan’s fingers were working relentlessly at his sides, tickling him non stop.

“P-p-please s-stop!” Caleb shrieked, swatting at man sitting on his hip.

“Not until you take back what you said!” Declan laughed manically. “Take it back!”

“N-never!” Caleb accidentally - or on purpose - kneed upwards just a little too hard. Declan grunted painfully and rolled off of the boy and onto the ground, clutching his manhood and turning a very dangerous shade of red.

Caleb took this as his chance. With a maniacal laugh of his own, Caleb jumped from the couch and ran straight up the stairs, he had been hoping for Declan to be down for a couple of seconds longer, but the man was right on his heels. Caleb squealed, running straight for Declan’s master bedroom. He didn’t have time to close before the older man was right in front of him.

Declan lunged, but Caleb was faster, ducking past his arms and into the adjacent ensuite with a door to the outside hallway. This was a bad move because Declan was waiting for him right outside of the door. Caleb wasn’t fast enough this time, Declan scooped the boy right into his arms and flipped him upside down. Caleb cursed the man’s muscles even though they were one of his favorite features of him.

Caleb laughed and squirmed in Declan’s arms. It had only been two days since the incident with Jetson, but Declan had been set on making sure that Caleb was not depressing over it. They had been on much friendlier terms with each other since then.

“Take it back!” Declan growled, spinning in circles to dizzy the other. Caleb continued to squeal and giggle. He couldn’t remember the last time he had ever had so much fun.

“Okay, okay! You’re not a butthead!”
Declan seized with spinning and smiled down at the boy.

“See, wasn’t that so much easier than everything you just put us through. My nether regions still hurt, but the way.”

Declan carefully lowered Caleb onto the ground, being careful not to hit his head on the ground.
“So my mom was telling me that she thinks it would be a good idea to move out of the bachelor pad and move to something more permanent. I told her to fuck off, bad idea?” It was technically the truth, his mother had told him this, but that was back when he was still with Clarissa and the woman had the prospect of grandchildren. She hadn’t spoken to her Declan since the Clarissa incident.

Thankfully neither had Clarissa. Declan didn’t really want to move, but he did want to know how Caleb felt about continuing whatever relationship that they had. He really hoped the word ‘permanent’ wouldn’t scare the boy off.
Caleb giggled, skipping down the steps.

“Telling your mom that? Definitely a bad idea.” They had learned that unless he was angry, it was almost physically impossible for Caleb to say a swear word. Declan thought it only added to his cuteness. “As for moving, I think that might be a good idea in the future, but you’re technically still a bachelor, Dec.” He sent a smirk over his back.

Declan laughed. He didn’t want to laugh because he didn’t want to be a bachelor. He wanted Caleb. He didn’t know how much longer he would be able to last without jumping the kid.

Apparently he would last a bit longer because his cell began vibrating in his pocket. It was the doorman downstairs - it was required that they give a phone number in case of emergencies or visitors and Declan didn’t want to stoop to getting a home phone just for that.

“Hello Mr. Callum, sorry for the interruption, but you have two visitors downstairs. A Mr. and Mrs. Barnes -” Declan froze. Mr. and Mrs. Barnes? Caleb’s parents were here. “Oh, sorry, not Mr. and Mrs. Barnes, a Vanessa and Jetson Barnes.” It was no reason to breathe easier, but the fact that it wasn’t Caleb’s parents allowed him to at least attempt to clear his head.

Said boy was dancing around his living room, carefree and happy. Declan didn’t want to ruin that by allowing his siblings to come inside, but he couldn’t very well tell them to go away.

“Uh...yeah, just...just keep them down there for me please and thank you.” He hung up. “Caleb, I just have to run downstairs for a bit and deal with some...mailing issues. It shouldn’t take long.”

Caleb giggled and nodded, continuing his strange dance around the house. It left Declan with a bitter taste in his mouth; he absolutely hated lying to the one person who meant the most to him. That left him in a bad mood and that’s the mood he went downstairs in.

Vanessa and Jetson were looking very out of place in the obnoxiously large and glamorous foyer of the building. Both ran to Declan as soon as he approached from the gleaming elevators.

“What are you two doing here?” He wanted to remain calm because he was sure that they meant no harm, but the last thing Declan wanted was for Caleb to be hurt and these two have hurt him and he will not allow it again.

“Declan please, I just - I just came to apologize for my behavior.” Jetson sighed. “I was way out of line and I knew - I knew that he was telling the truth, I just didn’t...want it to be. And I hurt him, like I’ve been hurting him his entire life and...” Jetson no longer knew what he wanted to say. Thankfully he had brought Vanessa along - as if he had a choice.

“What Jetson is trying to say is that he wants to apologize not only for what he said a couple days ago, but also for everything he’s done to Caleb growing up. And I need to say a few words to him too, please.”
Declan groaned, running a hand over his suddenly very tired face.

“I know what you guys are trying to say and I want nothing more than for your family to make up, but...my main priority is Caleb and I think he’s had enough. He’s been hurt his entire life and the one time he tries to let one of you guys in - and I know you didn’t mean it - but you still hurt him, like you’ve been doing his entire life. I’m sorry, but I don’t think he wants to try anymore.”

Vanessa buried her face in her hands and let out a soft sob. Declan didn’t want to say these things and he felt horrible about doing so, but he felt that he caused enough drama and trouble for Caleb. He would put a stop to that boy’s miseries if it was the last thing he did.

“Dec...” And that he was not expecting.