Status: Active :) Comments are lovely.

Lost Inside


Declan allowed Caleb to sleep in the next day; he knew how desperately the young man needed it. He had called in sick from work and told his parents not to show up on his doorstep that day because he wouldn't be home. Yes, he lied, but for once, he would like his parents to not butt into every detail of his life. His only problem now...Clarissa was due to come back later that night. He would worry about that when time came, as of then, he didn't need to keep his mind on it. He was making Caleb breakfast when said man walked into the kitchen, Declan's pyjamas loosely hanging off of him, rubbing his eyes with small fists. It was an adorable sight to say the least, so Declan couldn't help but smile softly over at the groggy boy.

Caleb was still dead tired, so he walked straight to the dinning room table, laid his head down and was back asleep in a matter of minutes; not even the scent of food was enough to keep him awake. Declan had to carry him back to bed, tucking him in tightly from the slight chill of the air and heading back to the living room to wait for his day to become more interesting.

Emilia stopped by at around one in the afternoon and Caleb was still asleep. He had never been able to sleep long when he was out of the street. It was going to bed at two in the morning and waking up by four or five that same morning. Declan understood, but Emilia wanted to get some clothes shopping done and was about ready to throw him out of the door in his pyjamas.

"Emilia, this is the first time he's ever been able to sleep for so long, just leave him be. We can go clothes shopping tomorrow; the mall is not going to go anywhere." Declan attempted to reel Emilia away from Caleb's door, but she wasn't having any of it; for such a small woman, she sure had some strength on her.

Emilia managed to push through Declan's arms (not like he was trying very hard, he didn't want to hurt her) and marched her way into Caleb's room, but once she got there, she froze. He looked so peaceful in slumber. His soft brown hair was sticking up in every direction, mouth slightly agape and light snores falling from his lips. Her lips formed into a pout as she brought her hands together in
front of her.

"Aw, isn't that just darling? He's so precious." She cooed, much like a mother would coo to her newborn child. Declan had to stop himself from cooing as well, the sight was just too much, so he quietly led the woman out of the door and lightly closed it behind him.

The two adults talked for an hour over coffee and light snacks, waiting for the youngest to wake up. At around two forty-five in the afternoon, Caleb finally walked out of the guest bedroom Declan had secretly dubbed as his. Emilia quickly ran over to him, leading him into the kitchen to finally get something in his stomach. Caleb was then thrust into one of Declan's smaller articles of clothing, which still hung loosely around him. The trio climbed into Emilia's car and were off, but not towards the many malls in Manhattan, or even any of the shopping centres in Times Square, no, Declan would not risk some stray photographer trying to catch him on an off day, so the trio drove all the way down to New Jersey.

Neither Declan nor Caleb enjoyed their time shopping; both secretly wished that they were taking guitar lessons, for the same reason of being near each other without interruptions. Emilia, on the other hand, was having a blast; if she could have, Declan was sure she would have bought the entire mall (with Declan's card, of course). By the time they finally managed to make their way back into the house, Declan was was ten o’clock....Clarissa was home. The older of the two men didn't know what to expect when he introduced Clarissa to their new guest, but he did know that there was no way she was going to be nice about it. Carrying their total of about twenty five bags (BIG bags) down to the elevator and then over to the loft, Declan took his time opening the door, but it was no use, Clarissa had heard the key in the lock and burst out of the door, attaching herself to her 'fiancé'. She didn't notice Caleb at first, which he found honestly awkward, but when she finally did acknowledge his presence, he wished that she never had.

Clarissa had detached herself from Declan (who had been squirming for quite some time) and her gaze finally drifted over to the skinny boy standing directly to the side of him.

"Oh...and who are you?" Her smile might have been kind (or attempting to be), but her tone of voice clearly stated that she did not like this boy at all. Clarissa had always been the type to stick her nose up to those she didn't find worthy of her time. Declan immediately heard 'the tone' and stiffened, preparing himself to defend his once five day best friend.

Caleb, of course, didn't answer, having only talked once and that was only five words. Clarissa didn't understand this and thought that he just didn't feel the need to answer her.

"Um...this is my old friend, Caleb and he's staying with us for a little while." Declan cut into the harsh glare she was throwing Caleb's way. Clarissa attempted to give Declan a sultry smirk as she made her way back into the loft, eyeing the bags in her fiancé’s hands along the way.

"Well darling, we should talk about that as a couple, a soon to be wed couple. What are all of those?" 
If there was one thing Declan knew about Clarissa, it was that she loved to shop. The amount of bags in both men's hands weren't nearly enough for her, but Clarissa was already eyeing them greedily, ready to snatch them straight out of their hands if she even got a whiff of jewelry or shoes. Caleb already dearly disliked the woman and would have loved to tell her that none of them were for her so she should back off, but he couldn't speak that way to the person who lived in the house he would temporarily reside in. Declan, on the other hand, had no problem doing this.

"I didn't feel that this needed talking about, dear. Caleb is an old friend of mine and he was in need, and these are his clothes; he needed them. Welcome back though..." Forcing a smile through his lips, Declan pushed through the door, towing Caleb behind him. They moved straight through the living room and into the guest bedroom, dumping the bags onto the ground. Caleb was more than thankful for all that Declan was doing for him. He couldn't remember a time in his life where he was treated so well, with such kindness and respect, it brought tears to his eyes. Caleb dropped onto the bed, a lazy smile set on his face, causing Declan to smile off to the side.

"I'm just going to my room to get a box to put all of my clothes in...I'll be back." Declan whispered, knowing full well that Clarissa was standing right outside of the room, glaring over at the two, just waiting for Declan to be alone. She got her chance when he made his way out of the guest room and up the stairs to the master bedroom. She cornered him on his way up the stairs.

"Declan, what the hell were you thinking? I go away for the weekend and you take in a...whatever the hell he is. The boy looks homeless, starving and pathetic. You've really outdone yourself this time, just wait until your mother hears about this...oh she will not be pleased..." Clarissa was about to continue her full pledged rant when Declan cut her off.

"Just shut up for a moment, will you Clarissa? I knew Caleb a long time ago and haven't seen him for years. He's hit some...bumps in the road and he needs help right now and damn it, I'm going to help him. I honestly don’t see why you would care, seeing as you don’t live here. Seriously, aren’t you paying rent or something somewhere else? Go home once in a while."

Clarissa did not seem at all fazed by this, seeing as it wasn't the first time Declan had told her to leave, but she did not like it when things did not go her way and her this was certainly not going her way.

"Alright, you listen to me; we both know that we don't love each other, hell, I don't even like you, you're lucky you're hot. I'm just here for the publicity and let's face it; you can give me what I need, why the hell would I give that up? You need me just as much as I need you and if you want to stay in mommy’s good books and daddy’s chequebooks, I demand some damn respect."

Declan just rolled his eyes, taking the laundry basket out of the closet and making his way back out of the door towards the stairs.

"Love you too, sweetheart." Declan mumbled as he made his way down the stairs and into the living room. "Listen, why don't you just go home or something? You want publicity, you've already got it; if anyone asks why you don't stay here, just tell them that...we've decided to take things slow or something, I don’t know, and frankly I don't give a shit, just make something up."

For the first time ever, Clarissa actually listened. She just took her things and made her way out of the house when the duo were enjoying a late dinner at midnight. Caleb felt bad, blaming himself for their fight, but Declan was cheerful the rest of the night. He finally slept with a smile that almost seemed sincere. Clarissa had actually left without that much of a fight!

Caleb found it hard to not have a good day. He had been blessed with shelter, food, clothes, everything he'd missed in the three years out on the streets, but he didn't take such things for granted anymore...he knew what it was like to have it all taken away. Of course, he was not taking advantage of his stay, he was doing all he could to find a job, but hiring a recently homeless, eighteen year old, high school dropout was not everyone's priority. Declan could clearly see that Caleb was trying (maybe a little too hard), and had attempted to discourage the boy from finding a job too soon, but it had been a futile attempt. Their guitar lessons had been continuing, slowly, seeing as Declan still had a job to go to and a family to impress, but they still managed. Caleb had been practicing on his own as well, he never got as far as he would with Declan teaching him, but he loved the expression on the older man's face when he shyly showed him something he had learned to do on his own; whether it was something as small as finally being able to hold the guitar right, or something bigger, like being able to strum a chord and make it sound like music.

It had been almost two weeks since Declan had found Caleb on the streets and their relationship was...going. Caleb was still dreadfully shy, blushing at just about everything Declan would say and Declan was still awkward, unable to find much to say in fear of frightening the smaller boy. They had definitely gotten closer in the past couple of weeks, being able to almost fully laugh with one another more often. Not to mention the fact that Caleb has unquestionably filled out; Emilia had made sure of that.

The press was, and still is having a field day with Declan and Clarissa's 'separation'. Both parties wear their engagement rings (though Declan still wishes he would just chuck the thing out of the nearest window), but no one was buying their lie. A few days prior, Clarissa had called...she wanted to move back in, just when Declan was beginning to like his freedom.

The two men had been sitting in the dining room, eating dinner when Clarissa waltzed back into the house. Declan had been sure that he had had his locks changed. There was a reason he feared Clarissa. The bright, plastic smile was carved onto her face, until she saw Caleb, of course.

"Darling, I'm back!" She screeched, running straight into Declan's closed arms, he was still sitting at the table, staring in shock at the doorway. Caleb immediately felt out of place, yet again.

"Did you miss me, honey? I know you did; what could you accomplish without me?" Clarissa allowed her eyes to skim over the spotless kitchen, only briefly sparing a distasteful glance at Caleb. "Hm, I see you've hired a maid in my absence, but no more need for that darling because I am here for good." She smiled, giggling insanely. It took all Declan had in him to not smash his head against the wooden table.

Caleb looked as if he was about to be sick, tentatively sticking his forkful of pasta back into his mouth; maybe she would pay him no mind. Declan only wished she would pay him no mind. He was sure that she out of his home for good when he had last spoken to her, but apparently bad publicity was not something she was willing to work with. He quickly excused himself from the table and yanked Clarissa from the table into the living room. Caleb’s face flushed, quickly finishing his meal, attempting to block out the sounds of yelling from the next room.

“Clarissa, what the hell are you doing back here? We had a talk about how I did not want you in my home. Did you forget?”

The smile immediately vanished from her polished features and a glare set in its place. Declan was readying himself for the lecture that was inevitably going to come.

“Listen Declan, I know what you said and frankly I want to take back what I said to you; it was just the fury taking over my mind. I really do love you and I want us to get married and be happy and…I just missed you so much.” A frown took place of the anger as she forced tears to squeeze out of her eyes. “I don’t like it when we fight baby and I want us to start this marriage happily. Don’t you want us to be happy, baby?”

He was amazed. Did she really forget all of the things she had said before she left the house? About using him for publicity and not even liking him a tad bit?

Did she think he would forget it?

Declan allowed a sigh to pass his lips. Rubbing his hand down his face, he looked into Clarissa’s mask. Did he really want to risk spending the rest of his life with this woman? Would he give up his newfound friendship with Caleb for Clarissa? Just to make his parents happy? Shouldn’t they wish for his happiness instead of the other way around? Oh who was he kidding; he knew that if he even thought about leaving Clarissa for even a second, his mother would be at his doorstep demanding an explanation. What would he say? That he was falling in love with a boy? Goodbye trust fund! Why was it so hard to just live his own life…for even a moment? Declan was honestly disgusted with himself that he depended on his parents so much, but he didn't have enough of his own to be able to survive comfortably.

“Clarissa.” He sighed. A smile graced her slick lips, she knew the answer. “Please, just…leave. We’re getting married alright, that’s what you want and it will happen, but can you please just leave? I can’t deal with you right now.”

He regretted the words as soon as they left his lips. He felt as if he was betraying Caleb somehow. That was just foolish because him and Caleb were barely beginning to rekindle their friendship. Who knows if they would ever be anything but awkward friends; Caleb was already contemplating leaving the house. If Clarissa moved back in, that would be more than enough invitation for him to return to the streets.

After Clarissa left the vicinity, - after much shouting and threatening - Declan took a few deep breaths before returning to the kitchen. Caleb sat at the table, head down, staring at his lap while his plate remained empty in front of him. He looked deep in thought.

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to; you can leave if you want. Practice the guitar or something.” Declan mumbled, picking at his food as he sat down. He felt angry; at his parents for ruining his life, at Clarissa for ruining his life and at himself for accepting them ruining his life. When it was just him and Caleb, although it was awkward, he felt at ease…for once in his miserable existence.

Caleb looked up, a small frown on his face. He did not understand why Declan took all of these beatings with his head down. But what could he say? ‘Don’t listen to your parents, even if they’ll make your life a living hell if you don’t.’ Of course not, but what? Caleb bit his bottom lip harshly, but still made his way from the table, taking his dish into the sink to wash it. He was angry at himself; why couldn’t he just say something? One word; anything to take the sadness out of Declan’s eyes. He wished that he was better at playing the guitar because then he could play something, but he barely knew how to hold the instrument correctly. He felt useless. 
Declan was not eating, just glaring holes into his food. As Caleb walked past to make his way into the guest room, he lightly placed his hand on Declan’s shoulder, for just a fraction of a second and hoped it was enough.


Declan was strumming distractedly when Caleb quietly made his way into the music room. Declan was lying on his back on the small couch, staring at the ceiling with a small smile on his face. Caleb never thought someone looked so handsome until he laid eyes on this man. Clarissa was a very lucky woman and she did not even realize it. Caleb wondered who Declan was thinking about that brought the smile to his face. Well obviously it had to be his fiancée. Caleb didn’t think that Clarissa deserved to have someone like Declan, but he had no right to say this.

Declan was thinking of a certain blue/green eyed boy; he could not help himself.

‘Please darling come out of your spell

Cause I miss you, I miss you 

I know this air is cold and bare

But I'll hold you, I'll hold you 

I know the summer nights they died so long ago

I felt the fall between our lives when I let you go 

And if there's a will there is a chance 

Here's to reaching for your hand...'

Caleb stood by the doorway, listening to the rest of the song in silence. 
Caleb was at a loss for words. He knew that Declan was talented when it came to instruments, but the man had the voice of angels when he sang. Caleb could feel the pit of his stomach tighten as he fought back tears. He didn’t know why he was so caught up in Declan; did he think he stood a hope of a chance? He didn’t want to admit it, but he thought that Declan was the most gorgeous man to ever grace the planet and he had dreamt of the day that Declan would leave Clarissa and they would confess their undying love for one another and live happily ever after.

‘Who am I kidding? He can have anyone he wants; there is no way he would ever choose me.’

Caleb thought, slowly making his way back into the guest room. He sat cross legged on the bed, back facing the door as a tear slowly made its way down his flushed cheek. It was not because of Declan that he felt like this; he had felt like this his entire life…no one wanted him. No one would ever want him; he had to be thankful that Declan had taken him in and was willing to take care of him because he was sure that no one else would ever do the same for him ever again. He would not take advantage of what he got and he had to work fast before Declan got bored of him and demanded that he return to the streets from whence he came. His thoughts were usually depressing; this just topped the cake. If Declan married Clarissa, he would have to leave, there was no doubt about it; but Declan would surely get tired of him first. Him and Clarissa belonged together, they were beautiful together and they deserved each other. 
Actually, he took those thoughts back; Declan deserved someone so much better than Clarissa. Whoever he was singing about was one lucky lady. He wondered how beautiful she was; was she willing to give anything up for him? Did she know just how lucky she was to have someone like Declan pursuing her?

Caleb cried into his small, scarred hands, trying so hard to keep his voice down; Declan did not need to deal with this as well. He was sure that he was not the only person on the earth who wondered why they were bothered to be placed on the land to survive. He didn’t want to survive when all he got was pain. Declan and Emilia were the only good things that had happened in his life. Yes, his parents had sheltered him for most of his life, with barely any food, but shelter was shelter…he did not even deserve that anymore. The quiet sobs racked his body and slowly lulled him to sleep from which he wished to never return…
♠ ♠ ♠
I was sick and in the hospital and it was a giant mess!!

But I'm back now and hopefully this story will get back on track! Jeebuz that was a terrible week!!!

Anyway, thanks for reading.

Thanks to:

Josh Cutlip
Yummy Octopie
polka dot perfection


My sick self loves ALL OF YOU SO DAMN MUCH! You make me feel a million times better with all of your amazing comments :)

Please continue to Comment&Subscribe