Lost Inside

Cake tasting…Declan could not be more bored. The press had been having a field day with the courtship of Declan and Clarissa; expected to be more extravagant than the royal wedding itself.

Declan did not doubt it; Clarissa would suck him dry in order to not disappoint a bunch of people she didn’t even know. The guest list was enormous; celebrities and no-names alike were invited and Declan knew maybe four people on the entire list of 700.

”Seven hundred people?” He had yelled when she had shown him the list. “Why the hell do 700 people need to be invited to our wedding? How many of them do you actually know?”

Clarissa had scoffed, filing her perfectly manicured nails. 



“Just leave everything to me, okay, just stand there and say your vows when prompted and that will be all that is expected of you.”


Of course he had not pressed the matter because he could not stand to be in the same room as that woman for another second. When she had said that nothing would be expected of him, he had been elated; he would need to do nothing, and then she calls and tells him that the driver will arrive in ten minutes to take them to the bakery to pick out their wedding cake. He had been in the middle of teaching Caleb how to better read the music sheets when she had barged in – he still did not know how she was getting the new keys – and dragged him straight out of the door. He wished Caleb could have at least come with them, but Clarissa might have ordered for him to be run over if they even tried getting him into the limousine. Why did they need a limousine for two people?



“I prefer the red velvet myself.” Clarissa tried to sound educated…and failed. Declan could not stand the taste of red velvet, but kept his mouth shut. No one would care about his thoughts. “But the chocolate mousse is to die for. Can we possibly have both? So like red velvet on alternating five tiers and chocolate mousse on the other five?”

Ten tiers? Who needs a ten tiered wedding cake? Well, they will have seven hundred – if not more – mouths to feed. Declan fought the urge to roll his eyes and simply tried to blend into the background. Sticking his hands in his black jeans, Declan looked out of the window at the quiet street. He was surprised the press was not here; he was sure that Clarissa had been calling them herself at this point. He could not help but stare at his reflection in the mirror. He was tall, 6”2’, he would have been considered lanky had he not paid so much attention to his body. Going to the gym five days a week sure paid off; his arms were well muscled, along with his chest and his torso was built. No one would be able to tell with the multi-colored plaid button up and thick red winter jacket, but in the summer he was noticeably bigger. There are constantly dark bags under his big brown eyes, stress and work and Clarissa and all. Recently there has been a decrease and he would not say that it was because of a certain boy living in his house…but he was thinking it. Thoughts of Caleb brought a small smile to his lips; there were definitely getting closer. It has been about a month since they began their living arrangements and Declan was much happier than he would care to admit. He caught himself and brought the grey beanie lower on his short brown hair before turning back to the duo who were now discussing frosting. When will the torture end?

They were walking out of the bakery an hour later, only being stopped by one man with a camera – thank goodness – when Clarissa pulled him into a florist not too far away. This was when the fun began.

“Um, Clarissa, you said we were only choosing the cake today. Why are we here?” Declan asked, pulling his hand out of hers and refusing to go any further into the store. He would not be subject to more torture; the cake sitting was enough.

“Well we can’t have a wedding without flowers, Declan. Don’t be difficult and just come here and help me choose the colors.” She spat between clenched teeth. There were most likely people watching or else she would not bother to keep the smile on her face.

“Honestly, Clarissa, you don’t need me here for any of this; you’re just going to end up picking these things out on your own anyway; I’m just here so people can see that you’re actually marrying me. So thank you, but I must get going…more interesting things to do today.” He really had nothing planned, but he would rather be at home, bored with Caleb than more bored in public with Clarissa, a.k.a. the spawn of Satan.

The woman crossed her arms and put her weight on one hip. Declan did not understand why women made this gesture; was it supposed to be commanding? He felt it made them look like they had hip problems. Now was not the best time to ask.

“Oh, what, you have plans with that homeless boy? You know, I don’t know why I’m keeping something like this from your mother. She has the right to know that her son is harboring a homeless nut job. Oh and let me guess, you’re in love with him now like the little freak that you are!”
She irked him…too much.

“You know that I can end this engagement right? You think that I am that far up my parents’ asses that I’m too afraid to leave you? Oh no, I can get enough information on you that would make my parents glad that I left the likes of you, so don’t push me Clarissa, you have been nothing but a pain in my ass for years and…I don’t know if I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with you.”
She let out a dry laugh, but he could see the fear in her eyes. She didn't want to believe it, but deep down she knew it was true.

“Really Declan, you’re threatening me now? Oh you have sunk so low and what will they think about their little man being gay? I’m sure they would love that.”

Five minutes, that was all it took. The ‘couple’ stood at the front of the store arguing for five minutes. None of the associated were willing to go out and ask if there was a problem; no one wanted to intervene. And when those five minutes were up…

“You know what Clarissa, fuck it! I don’t need this from you and there is no way in hell I am going to put up with it for the rest of my life; I might kill myself. So you know what, I am officially calling off the wedding! I don’t care for you or your blackmail or your cheating or your bitching. When you come over to the house, you will find the locks changed and your shit in the hallway; if you find a way to get the new key again, I will call the police and finally file a fucking restraining order. Stay the hell away from me and stay the hell away from Caleb, he is none of your business.”

Clarissa kept opening and closing her mouth with nothing to say; she was angry. More than angry, her ticket to stardom was walking out of the door and threatening her with a lawsuit. She would not allow this to happen. Before Declan got far, she was already on the phone with his mother.



“How was wedding cake tasting?” Caleb asked, he was on the couch, book in his lap, cell phone on the table. He had gotten much more comfortable speaking to Declan, so much so that his stuttering was slowly disappearing.

“It was amazing!” Declan grinned, plopping himself down on the couch, pushing the book aside and laying his head right on Caleb’s lap. Ever since the whole guitar lesson incident with the ‘touchy feely’, Declan had gotten the courage to be more handsy with Caleb…not that the former was complaining. “It was so amazing that I called off the wedding.”

At first, Caleb had thought it was a joke, but…not Declan…

“You called off the wedding? What happened, I thought you…somewhat liked her.”

Caleb pushed his glasses farther up his nose – something that Declan found absolutely adorable – and pushed the older man off of his lap, making him face him instead.

“No, I hate the bitch, oh and would you mind helping me pack her stuff and throw them outside please and thank you.” He gave a shit eating grin and laid his head back on the younger man’s lap. He loved that he could be so comfortable with someone he only just reunited with a month before. He was normally closed off and distant, he was never this happy.

“Declan, will you please take this seriously? What are your parents going to think? They will not be happy and then they’ll come here and see me and I’m going to be dead for! Declan, stop it!” He let out a girly giggle that he would regret later.

Declan had decided to nuzzle his head into Caleb’s stomach; Caleb was very ticklish. In the process of squirming to get away from Declan, Caleb’s glasses slipped from his face and landed on the ground, close to breaking…again; that would have been the third pair in one week. Declan had realized the severity of Caleb’s eyesight when he could barely read something two inches from his face; he had to wear glasses now and he had been so unused to them that he had sat on the first pair and snapped them in half and then sat on the second pair and cracked the lens.
The two were in the middle of a tickle/wrestling war in the middle of the living room when Emilia made her way into the house, Scooter on her tail; he absolutely loved Caleb and followed him just about everywhere. Emilia was not very happy at how close the two have gotten, in fear of Caleb getting hurt, but she had to admit that not only were they absolutely adorable together, but she loved seeing them both happy.

“So Declan, just a word of caution here, but there was this angry woman in the lobby who looked remarkably like your mother and I got the elevator before her and the other one is out of service. Chances are she will be on the next elevator and she is not very pleased. What have you done?”
The men quickly straightened up, Caleb grabbed his glasses and the book and ran up the stairs into Declan’s bedroom. The door later slammed and most likely locked; Caleb was afraid of Declan’s parents. Emilia made herself comfortable on the couch, turning on the television. 
Declan groaned, feeling a chill grow in the pit of his stomach; he was not ready for this.

“Don’t mean to be, you know, mean, but perhaps you should wait upstairs with Caleb. I don’t want her barging in here asking why I cancelled my wedding with another woman sitting on the couch.”
Emilia’s eyebrows shot a mile in the air, but she did not question him. She grabbed her purse and shoes and followed Caleb. Now Declan had to wait; his mother would not be pleased with his decision, but hopefully she would at least hear him out. 
Declan’s mother took three minutes to make it to his door and she did not even bother knocking. Declan should have locked it after Emilia. He did not even bother getting up from the couch.

“What the hell is the matter with you?” She yelled; the two heard it upstairs. “I’m just getting my nails done when I get a call from a distraught Clarissa, sobbing over the phone to me about how you humiliated her at the florist and then cancelled the wedding! The wedding is not cancelled; I don’t know what the hell had gotten into you but you are going to call her and apologize, now!”

Of course Clarissa would use the crying card. From what it sounded like, she had mentioned nothing about Caleb, he was safe for now.

“Before you get all mental, mother, Clarissa is a bitch and you know it.” She was already mad, no point in watching his language now. “Look, she’s been cheating on me for a while now and I just got tired of her acting all innocent and holy when she was doing things you and I don’t even want to know about.”

His mother flared…she didn’t care.

“Who cares? This is when you hide everything and cover it with a smile! You need a wife if you are ever going to be respected in the professional world and Clarissa is perfect for you! Not to mention, her family has a very good name; don't you want the best for your future children? This wedding will happen whether you like it or not.”

Declan shuddered at the thought of having children with Clarissa. Parents are meant to be supportive and helpful; Declan’s parents missed that memo.

“No, I refuse to marry her. Yes, I will get married one day and have the family that you always wanted, but I will choose the person for me, not you. For once mother, just support me in one decision that I make for myself.” He was sure to leave out the word ‘girl’. He wanted to see the name “Barnes” beside his on a marriage certificate; he didn’t want to say this yet, but he could definitely see it.

His mother continued to glare; she did not like the word ‘no’, especially when it came from her own son. She would be having a talk with his father later on, that was for sure and hopefully the intimidating man would be able to put some sense into his son. She angrily raised herself from the couch and made her way to the door; Declan was praying that she would just leave and never come back…then the sneeze came from upstairs. He cursed under his breath; he was screwed. His mother’s face turned to one of shock as her eyes turned to the stairs.

“So that’s why you’re leaving Clarissa; you’re harboring another woman! How dare you cheat on your fiancée?” She cared more about Clarissa’s feelings than she did his, her own child. Sometimes he wondered if he was adopted, but he looked too much like his father. Heels clicked on the hardwood flooring at she took to the stairs. Shuffling could be heard, along with the slamming of the bedroom door and hurried footsteps; those two sure did not know how to keep quiet; now Declan’s mother was sure there was someone upstairs. Declan quickly followed the woman into the bedroom – which was not even locked, he could have face-palmed – and looked around. The bed had not been touched and nothing seemed out of place. The first place his mother checked was the closet; Declan could see purple polished nails slide farther under the bed; he wondered where Scooter had gone.

“I don’t know what you are looking for mother; I am just dog sitting for someone and he probably got loose somewhere up here; really mother.”
She did not buy it and continued. She checked the linen closet in the bathroom, along with the tub and the shower, as well as the cabinets; they were all empty. Where did Caleb manage to squeeze himself? When she opened the door to the music room, Scooter rushed out…he always followed Caleb…uh oh.

“See mother, dog sitting; this was what you heard, there is no one else up here.”

There were not a lot of places to hide in the music room, seeing as it housed only instruments pegged on the wall; she could look in the closet, which was empty…where is he?

Finally Mrs. Callum sighed, making her way back down the stairs.

“Fine, so there is no other woman, but do not think that this conversation is over Declan, I will be back…with your father.” 
He could have sworn out loud, but he simply held the door open for her and closed it when she exited. Exhaling, he went upstairs. Emilia crawled out from under the bed, Scooter rushing up to lick her in the face and Caleb…

“How did you manage to get on top of the closet? Can you even get back down?” 
On the top shelf of Declan’s closet, nicely shielded by bags of clothing and other useless junk – most of which were Clarissa’s, Caleb huddled in on himself, effectively blending right in and becoming nearly invisible.
Caleb was thankful that he was so skinny; otherwise he was unsure if the shelf would be sturdy enough. He readied himself to jump from the top shelf, a little intimidated at the height – he was not so sure how he managed to get up there himself – but what could he do?

He was surprised when, instead of landing on the hard ground, he plopped into a pair of strong, muscular arms. He could not stop the blush that was threatening to choke him. He was in Declan’s arms…Declan was holding him…and he was conscious. He brought his head up to thank the older man when his eyes got lost in the ones that were staring right back at him. Declan could not help himself; he was going to let Caleb bring himself down, but he was sure he would have gotten hurt, so catching him was no big deal, but the proximity was a bit intimidating. When they had shared a bed after Caleb was broken the glass downstairs, both had stayed at the far end of the king sized bed, so it was as if a wall had been separating them, but now? He saw Caleb’s cheeks flush and when those blue/green – more blue – turned to look at him, he was lost. He could not remember to put the boy down and honestly, neither could Caleb; he could have stayed looking into those eyes forever.
Emilia noticed this as well as and even though they were being very adorable and looked very good together, she still found it awkward to be in the same room and who knows what would happen if she left. An awkward clearing of the throat got Caleb to scramble out of Declan’s arms, causing the older man to nearly drop him. Both faces flushed as they turned away from each other.

“T-t-thank you, f-for catching me.” Caleb muttered, staring intently at a spot on the ground. 
Declan simply nodded and walked straight out of the bedroom; that was very uncomfortable.

Emilia would not let Caleb go that easily though; as he attempted to scurry from the room, the petite woman grabbed a hold of his arm and shut the door, locking it before Caleb got a chance to go near it again. He knew where this was leading and he did not like to discuss it one bit; he wished she would just leave it alone.

Crossing her arms over her bosom, Emilia gestured her head towards the bed. Caleb’s head hung low as he followed orders and sat at the edge; if it got too awkward, he would be making a run for it. No doubt about that. She smirked and said nothing for a good three minutes; she knew what she was doing, Caleb could feel his nerves get the better of him. He did not like it one bit.

“So…” She finally drawled out. “What is going on between you and Mr. Declan Callum? And don’t try to lie to me, I saw the looks you two were giving each other. Are you guys together?”
Caleb nearly choked on air. Him and Declan together? Oh he could only wish, but he knew that day would never come. Why did Emilia have to make it so tense; he would never be able to look Declan in the eyes now.

“W-what? O-of course not! M-me and Declan?” He spluttered. She smiled at how his face changed a good three colors before settling on a bright red hue; it was adorable if she were to admit it. She also saw the sadness in his eyes and she wanted to know why, but she had an idea. Did Caleb think he was not good enough? If so, she would be sure to dispel those thoughts.

“Yes, you and Declan! You guys are so uber cute together, I love it! Why do you look so sad honey? Do you not like him like that?”

Oh boy did he ever like him like that, more than liked him like that, but…could he trust Emilia? Well, it’s not like he had anyone else.

“N-no, it’s n-not that, I just…” He averted his eyes and scratched the back of his neck. His face was on fire; he din't think it was physically possible for him to get so red. “I mean, h-he’s Declan C-Callum and I’m…some random h-homeless kid. W-why would he ever want someone like me?”

Emilia frowned, bringing Caleb into a tight hug. He should never think of himself as not good enough, he was better than most she knew.

“Don’t you dare think like that sweetie.” Her voice was calm and reassuring…Caleb still didn't believe her. “You are more than good enough for Declan and I think he might have a thing or two for you, young man. Plus, he left the wicked witch, so I think you should make a move.”

He shoved her away; did she just say what he thinks she just said? Make a move? Him? On Declan? As if he could ever get the courage to do something like that. He accidentally let out a small chortle. He had wanted her to believe that he would so that she could drop the subject; this was just very uncomfortable…for everyone involved. She glared at him but he looked away.

“C-can we p-please drop this Millie. And please –please – don’t talk to Declan about this...”

When Caleb was in the shower later that night, she broke her promise and cornered Declan in the kitchen. The entire day had been awkward between the boys and Declan hadn't exactly been sure why. Should he just not have caught Caleb and let him fall onto the hard ground and break something? Of course not; so why did he feel so guilty? He also had been very confused when Caleb and Emilia had locked themselves in his bedroom; he had felt left out, like he was missing something important. He also felt like a six year old boy again, sulking because his friends had gotten new toys and he didn’t. He didn’t like that feeling when it came to Caleb; he wanted to be everywhere the boy was and sharing everything he had. 

Emilia had a devious smirk on her face as she closed in on the older man; looked about as terrified as he felt.

“Hi Millie, you know there’s this thing called personal space, right? It’s a really great thing.” He muttered nervously. Emilia had that ability...to make others uncomfortable and sometimes she did not hesitate to use it to her advantage...like right now.

Something dark glinted in those hazel eyes of hers, causing Declan to gulp audibly and shake just a little. What was the woman up to?

“So...you cancelled your wedding huh?” She began. “For whom? Is there a certain someone else on your mind?” He gulped yet again...oh god she knew...and she would not let it go. 
Declan attempted to look indifferent, to look as if her words did not have a huge affect on him...he failed horribly; Declan could feel himself sweating...this was not good.

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.” He stated defiantly. “I left Clarissa because she is not a good woman and she is not good for me. Someday I will meet a woman who will treat me like I deserve to be treated; this is nothing to do with Caleb.” This was when he realized his mistake and so did Emilia. An evil grin lit her features.

“Who said anything about Caleb...I sure never mentioned his name.”

Declan groaned and lightly shoved her out of his way, making his way to the sink to wash the dishes left over from supper. He was the type of person who didn’t believe in using the dishwasher because he was perfectly capable of doing things himself. Emilia let out a loud laugh and followed, hopping and clapping. She reminded Declan of a three year old on too much sugar.

“I knew it!” She trilled. “I knew it was because of him! I mean, it’s only the most obvious thing in the world and now I know it’s true! I can’t believe you would leave the preppy socialite Clarissa because of him! Oh my goodness, her reputation is going to be so shot because of this! Haha! Good because I hated her anyway; she always looked like a bitch to me, even though everyone else swears that she’s an angel.”

Declan drowned out her speech and continued on with the dishes. No one was supposed to know of the reason behind the cancellation of the wedding. Of course he would have done it anyway because he had a real hatred for the woman he had once called his fiancée, but a certain boy also played a role. Declan knew that chances were, he would never have a chance with Caleb and he was alright with that...he just wanted to be available in case a time came where him and Caleb could be...more.
Emilia had to quiet down when they heard the water shut off in the bathroom; Declan immediately spun around to face her.

“You cannot tell Caleb anything about this! I know you two are friends and everything and I get that you feel like you have to tell him everything, just please, this one thing must stay between us. I don’t want to ruin our friendship over something as stupid as my ‘feelings’.”

Emilia wanted to argue that his feelings were not stupid and badly wanted to say that Caleb felt nearly the same way for him, but she bit her tongue and simply settled for a slow but sure nod. She would not tell Caleb of this conversation, but she would do everything in her power to make those boys realize their feelings for one another.

Emilia was a walking contradiction. She had been the one to say that she did not want to see the boys in a relationship because she was afraid for Caleb, but she believed that he could handle himself and she trusted Declan, she had faith that he would do nothing to harm Caleb willingly or purposely.

Emilia left almost immediately after Caleb walked into the kitchen with a quick kiss to both of their cheeks and a hidden smile to both men. She liked knowing the things that she did; she would definitely take advantage of this newfound power of hers.