Save Me from Myself

"Is everything alright?" a knock at the door followed by Susan's worried voice made me shudder and forget about my thoughts for a moment.
"Yes, come on inside!" I tried my best to keep my voice from cracking.
As soon as the door opened, Susan and Anthony stepped inside the guest room and looked at me with worried faces.
"I just had a nightmare. I'm sorry I woke you up." I apologized with a trembling voice.
"Let me take care of this." Susan told Damon as she felt the tension between the two of us.
Damon had his eyes on me as Anthony led him to the hallway, worry and confusion written all over his face. Susan closed the door behind them and pulled me into a hug, then convinced me to lie on the bed and sat next to me.
"Come on, dear, talk to me! What happened between the two of you? Did he try to hurt you?" Susan spoke on a motherly tone while gently rubbing my arm.
"No, he didn't try to hurt me. I just had a nightmare, that's all." I sobbed.
"Did somebody else try to hurt you?" she looked me in the eyes and asked on a gentle tone.
"No, I'm fine. Really." I faked a small smile.
"Ok, I understand. You don't want to talk about it." Susan smiled back. "I'll let you get some rest. You know where to find me if you need anything." she added as she stood up and headed to the door.
"Can you tell Damon that I need to be alone for a little while?" I uttered before she left the room.
"Sure, dear. I'll tell him to sleep on the couch." she replied before closing the door.
"Thanks!" I added mostly to myself.
Tears strolled down my cheek as I started to think about what happened that night. I got off the bed and looked for the tissues that Damon previously bought me, then snuggled under the covers with the nightlight turned on. 'He's a monster! They are both monsters! What am I gonna do?' my thoughts were screaming in my head as I struggled to breathe with each desperate gasp of air I took, only to release it again in another forceful sob. 'This can't be real. What's wrong with me? I don't believe in vampires.' I shrugged my previous thoughts. 'But how can I deny what's in front of me? Their changing faces, Stefan trying to compel me, the rumors, the books about vampires, the vervain - can it all be just a coincidence?' I asked myself over and over again.
After a while, I heard another knock at my door. I assumed it was Damon, so I covered my head with the blanket and pretended like I was asleep. Soon, the door opened and the person stepped inside.
"I brought you a glass of warm milk. It's good for the nerves." I recognized Susan's comforting voice.
"Thank you!" I murmured under the covers.
"You should talk to him." she added with a soft voice. "Sort things out, tell him what's on your mind. Let him help you with what you're going through." Susan advised me.
"Did you talk to him? What did he tell you?" I asked curiously as I turned around to face her.
"It wasn't necessary, dear. His eyes told me everything that I needed to know." she gave me a warm smile.
"I don't understand." I gave her a wondering look.
"I've been married for more than 30 years, Maddy. I don't have to be a genius to figure out that he's deeply in love with you." Susan smiled again. "And I know that you feel the same way about him. That's why you two have to talk." she added on a gentle tone.
I let out a long sigh of helplessness, another tear escaping the corner of my left eye. I quickly wiped it with my thumb before Susan pulled me into a comforting hug.
"He's in the living room. Talk to him whenever you're ready." Susan said before leaving the guest room.
I found myself tossing and turning in bed for about an hour, until I had enough of it and decided to talk to Damon. 'Maybe Susan is right. I have to talk to Damon. He never hurt me. Plus, if any of this is true, I can't let him suspect that I know about it.' I thought to myself before I jumped out of bed. Without making too much noise, I opened the door and stepped into the hallway, then made my way to the living room. A thoughtful Damon was sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace, the firelight flickering in his beautiful blue eyes. After taking a seat next to him, I opened my mouth to say something, but the words got lost in my throat.
"How are you feeling?" he asked sheepishly, keeping his eyes on the burning fire.
"I'm fine, I guess." I shrugged my shoulders.
"Why do you keep pushing me away? Is it something I did? Is it something I said?" he asked bitterly, his eyes turning to me.
"Damon, I..." I tried to defend myself, but he interrupted me.
"A few hours ago, everything was perfect between us. I kissed you and you kissed me back. You fell asleep in my arms, but when you woke up you turned into a completely different person. You're afraid of me and I don't even know why." he added while staring into my brown eyes.
I didn't say anything. I just looked down to avoid his gaze.
"We keep taking one step forward, but then two steps back. Talk to me! Shout at me! Hit me! Do whatever you want, just don't push me away without saying why!" his voice raised slightly.
"I... I can't talk about this right now. I just need some time." I said with a weak voice.
"Take all the time you need." he replied bluntly before he stood up from the couch and walked out the front door.
I stood up and stormed to the guest room, slamming the door behind me. I slumped down on the bed, exhausted, my eyes closing slowly. It was a little past 5 AM when I finally drifted into sleep.
Three hours later, Damon entered the guest room and woke me up. I changed into an above the knee black dress, suitable for the funeral, then quickly packed my things and went to the living room to say goodbye to Susan and Anthony. After taking Damon's vehicle to a car workshop we walked to the bus station and took the bus to Hartford.
We got to aunt Margaret's hometown in less than an hour and went straight to the cemetery to attend the funeral. I felt really uncomfortable because I haven't seen aunt Margaret's relatives since I was 10. She didn't have children, but her brother and his three daughters were attending the funeral as well. Everybody was awkwardly staring at me and Damon during the ceremony, their faces becoming sullen when they figured out who I was. When they asked me about Damon, I told them that he was just a friend and by the disappointed look upon his face, I believe that it really bothered him.
After the funeral, I finally found out the reason why everyone gave me cold stares. Aunt Margaret's lawyer wanted to talk to me and led me and Damon to a room where we could discuss without being disturbed. I was really surprised to find out that I was one of aunt Margaret's inheritors and that I had to attend the reading of the will the next morning. Apparently, my mother knew about this, but she didn't tell me anything. At that point I figured out why she wanted me to attend the funeral and I was a little mad at her because she hid that from me.
Since we had to spend one more day in Hartford, Damon and I checked into a hotel in the afternoon. As soon as the receptionist gave us the keys, we went straight to our rooms to get some rest. I slept until 4 PM when I got up and changed into my white blouse and jeans, then met Damon in the lobby and went downstairs to eat something. The situation between us was still a little tense, so we didn't talk too much. As soon as I finished eating, I headed back to my room while Damon went to the bar to drink a beer.
I spent the rest of the day in my room watching TV, trying to get rid of the boredom and forget about the daily drama, but everything I did was in vain. All I could think about was Damon and I started to feel guilty about the way I treated him. He always had my back and he was always there for me, but all I did was to push him away over and over again. It was about 9 PM when I took my courage in both hands and decided to talk to Damon. I stepped into the hallway and headed to his room which was at the end of the hallway. My courage suddenly faded as I stopped in front of his door, asking myself if I should knock or not. I decided it was a bad idea and turned around to go back to my room, but I bumped into Damon who was only a few centimeters away from me, our faces almost touching.
"Looking for me?" he smirked, his breath smelling like alcohol.
"You scared me." I said as I took a step back, disgusted by the repulsive scent.
"It seems like everything I do scares you. I scare you when I sneak up behind you. I scare you when I hug you." he taunted me, a broken smile making its way to his lips.
I let out a long sigh, but I didn't reply, knowing that his words were somehow true. Damon took the hotel key out of his pocket, but he was so drunk that he couldn't even unlock the door.
"Help a guy out, would you?" he turned around to face me, handing me the key to his room.
I rolled my eyes at him as I unlocked the door. He entered the room as I stood in the hallway with my arms crossed together around my chest. He staggered to his feet, swaying a little before sitting on the bed.
"Aren't you going to come inside?" he asked with blue puppy eyes.
"You need coffee. I'll be right back." I stated before I walked downstairs to the hotel bar.
After buying a big cup of black coffee for Damon and a butter croissant for me, I headed back to his room to bring him the coffee.
He was still sitting on the bed, staring blankly at the wall in front of him.
"Take this! It will make you feel better." I said as I handed him the cup.
"I don't want coffee. I don't want to feel better. Just let me be miserable." he replied bluntly, causing me to roll my eyes.
"It's not up to you, Damon. Drink it!" I sat on the bed next to Damon, forcing him to take the cup out of my hand.
He rejected it again, accidentally spilling the coffee all over us.
"This is just great." I grumbled ironically as I stood up and headed to the bathroom.
I was trying to remove the stains from my white blouse when Damon's voice made me shudder.
"You missed a spot. You should take it off and wash it properly." he snickered while leaning against the bathroom doorframe.
"Get out of here, Damon!" I narrowed my eyes at him.
He left the bathroom with a stupid grin on his face, making me even angrier. I tried to ignore his behavior and concentrated on removing the stains from my clothes. About 10 minutes later, I gave up on removing the coffee stains from my blouse and jeans and went back to his bedroom. Damon was lying on the bed, sleeping with his shoes on as well as with the dirty jacket. I gave a snort of disgust as I took off his shoes and struggled to remove his jacket, the whole scene reminding me how much I hate drunk people.
After throwing his leather jacket on a chair, I sat on the bed next to him. Time stood still and I got carried away for a little while, forgetting about all my fears and regrets. He looked so peaceful while sleeping and I couldn't help myself but smile at him. "What am I gonna do with you?" I said as I caressed his silky hair, gently brushing it with my soft fingers. 'We can't fall in love with each other, can we? Or maybe Susan was right and we already have.' I immediately perished this thought. 'No, what's wrong with me? I shouldn't be doing this.' I thought to myself as I stood up from the bed, willing to go back to my room. As soon as I turned away, Damon caught me off guard by grabbing my right hand.
"Don't leave me alone!" he begged me with a sleepy voice.
"I don't babysit drunk people." I rolled my eyes as I snatched my hand out of his.
"Please..." he slurred, his piercing blue eyes staring into mine. How could I resist that?
I gave a small nod, then lay in bed next to Damon. He gave me a grateful smile and whispered "Good night!" before he closed his eyes and fell asleep again, his head resting on my shoulder.
"Good night!" I replied with a small smile before I closed my eyes, drifting into a dreamless sleep.
I was woken up in the morning by a loud slam of the bathroom door. I opened my eyes slowly, letting out a small yawn. My jaw dropped and my eyes widened when I saw Damon coming out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped loosely around his waist.
"Good morning!" he said on a joyful tone while approaching me, a cheeky grin making its way to his face.
"Good morning..." I replied faintly, still shocked about what I just saw, then I quickly looked away, making him burst into laughter.
"What's wrong? Don't you like what you see?" he teased me with a cocky smirk.
"You slammed the door on purpose, didn't you?" I hissed, avoiding his question.
"Yeah, I just wanted you out of my bed. How did you end up here anyway?" he continued to mock me.
"You asked me to stay, but don't worry. I'm out of here." I frowned as I got out of the bed and started to walk to the door.
"Hey, I was just kidding. I do remember. I wasn't that drunk." he grabbed my hand and smiled.
"I'll let you get dressed." I replied as I pulled my hand out of his grasp and opened the door.
"I remember everything." an arrogant sneer crept over his face, making me raise an eyebrow. "I know how much you enjoyed playing with my hair." he teased me again.
"I'm hungry. I'll see you downstairs in 15 minutes." I ignored his comments, stepping into the hallway and closing the door behind me.
I rushed back to my room and leaned against the door as soon as I got inside, an innocent smile making its way to my lips. I stood there for a few moments before changing into my black dress, since I didn't bring more clothes, then I put on my black cardigan and the black boots and went downstairs for breakfast. Damon was waiting for me in the lobby, sitting on a couch while sipping a cup of coffee.
"Mmm, lady in black. Sexy!" he pointed out, a smirk spreading across his face as he stood up and looked at me from head to toe, admiring my outfit.
I just rolled my eyes playfully, then we headed to the dining area where we had a mouth-watering breakfast before meeting the lawyer. We all gathered at aunt's Margaret house for the reading of the will where I had to go through another round of gossiping and cold stares. If it wasn't for Damon, I wouldn't have been able to stand there all by myself.
According to aunt Margaret's will, her house and most of her things were now belonging to her last living brother. In the end, the lawyer gave me a letter from aunt Margaret and told me to read it out loud:

"Dear Maddy,
Ever since I moved to Harford, my life has been a life full of joy. My only regret is that I didn't get to spend time with you and I haven't watched you grow up and become the beautiful young lady that you are today. I talk to your mother almost every week and I constantly ask her to send me pictures of you and the rest of your family. You looked amazing at your graduation ceremony and I'm sure that you will open the dance studio that your mother told me you're dreaming about. I want to help you make your dream come true, that's why I name you as the beneficiary of my account consisting of 10.000 US dollars. I know it's just a small amount of the money you need, but consider it as the first brick that will help you build up your dream. Take care of you and your loved ones and don't forget to smile always!
Aunt Margaret."

I have never expected this. Aunt Margaret has always been a kind person and I was very sad when I found out that she had to move from Arkansas, but I never expected to be one of her inheritors. In a way, I felt grateful that she thought of helping me accomplish my dream, but at the same time I was very sorry about her death.
After the reading of the will, Damon and I went back to the hotel to pack our things. After lunch, we took the bus to New Haven and headed to the mechanic who fixed Damon's car. About five hours later, we were back to Mystic Falls, safe and sound.
Stefan was at the Grill with Elena while Damon had to meet up with someone, so I was home alone again. It was my only chance to get rid of the doubt, so I didn't waste my time and went to the basement and took some vervain. I couldn't sleep the whole night, thinking about what I was going to do in the afternoon after getting home from work. It was even harder to concentrate on the cheerleading practice, but I managed to finish work and I got back to the Salvatore house as fast as I could, willing to put my plan into practice.
After changing into something comfortable, I put the vervain in my pocket and went to the kitchen. I gathered all the ingredients that I needed to make brownies and started to mix them carefully. "Here goes nothing." I said to myself as I chopped the vervain and threw it in the bowl, mixing it with the other ingredients.
About 40 minutes later, I took the dessert out of the oven and placed it on the kitchen counter before cutting it into small pieces. I ate one piece to make sure they weren't poisonous and that they didn't have a strange taste. 'This feels so wrong…' I thought to myself while staring at the delicious dessert. 'What am I doing? Do I really want to find out the truth? What am I gonna do if something goes wrong?' my thoughts continued to torture me until I decided to give up on my stupid plan. I quickly grabbed the plate with the brownies and I was about to throw them in the trash can when Damon entered the kitchen.
"What are you baking? It smells delicious." he asked curiously as he walked up to me.
"Nothing... I, umm..." I babbled. "I made some brownies, but they're awful. I'm gonna throw them in the trash can." I paced nervously.
"What? No, I want to try them." he said as he grabbed a brownie from the plate.
"No, give it back!" I almost shouted at him.
"Too late." he grinned before taking a bite from the brownie.