Out of the Ashes

Lexie was back at school in a few days. With instructions to take it easy she had yet to attend a single class. Andie had come in her first day back with news that her brave rescue had spread throughout the school. Apparently, half the students thought she was crazy while the other half thought she was a hero. She cared little what people thought the only thing her mind could focus on was the gray stallion. She wanted to see him, to know he was okay.

Finally, going stir crazy she had to get out of her room. She was still coughing a little, but she started classes tomorrow so it couldn’t hurt to get out of the dorms for a little while. She headed for Brooke’s office to find out where the stallion was staying for now, but she froze just outside the door when she heard her name mentioned.

“Brooke something serious needs to be done about Alexa’s behavior. I know you are the director of riding, but she made a life threatening decision that could have gotten her killed. I know she meant well, but she needs to be punished.”

“Wendy you have no idea what that girl has been through. I am certain by now you have heard her father died in a barn fire back in June. I know that should have stopped her, but when she woke up in that hospital bed she was a mess. She was talking about the fire and what it was like to listen to the horses die. I can’t imagine what it must have been like. We almost didn’t have to. I think she understands the seriousness of her actions,” Brooke explained.

“If we let her get away without punishment other students might think it’s perfectly okay to be a hero in dangerous situation and the next time it might not turn out so well,” Wendy replied.

“I highly doubt there is going to be another barn fire. All the other barns are up to code we have been trying to get the school to fix the wiring in that one for months. I think it is safe to say that isn’t a situation we have to worry about.”

“Who’s to say some other situation might not arise. She should at least be banned from riding classes this semester,” Wendy pushed.

“Wendy I am not making an example of my daughter. She has been through enough Hell already. I already discussed it with the headmistress and we are in agreement. Lexie knows the seriousness of her actions. You really have no say in the matter.”

“I wasn’t aware you had a daughter,” Wendy said softly.

“I walked away when she was a baby. Look Lexie has no idea who I am and I haven’t told her yet so please keep this to yourself,” Brooke asked softly.

“Sure no problem and I am sorry. I want you to know I am just concerned for her safety and the safety of all our students.” Wendy explained.
　　　　“I understand that, but as the director of riding you need to let me make these kinds of decisions. Even if Lexie wasn’t my daughter it wouldn’t change anything. My decision would still be the same.”
　　　　Lexie ducked around a corner nearby before the other instructor left. She was trying to absorb what she had just learned. Brooke was her mother and knowing her mother had walked away was one thing, but hearing it had been another. She wasn’t sure how to react.
　　　　For years she had imagined her mother. She had imagined what she might look like, who she was, and the reasons she left. Part of her was so angry that Brooke had left her motherless. There were so many moments in her young life she had longed for a mother. The other part of her wanted to know what she had done to make her mother leave. She felt hot tears slide down her cheeks as she walked back toward her mother’s office.
　　　　Brooke was making a list of horses due to see the farrier when Lexie walked in. Seeing her daughter’s tears she was immediately concerned.
　　　　“What’s wrong Lexie?” she asked wondering if she’d overheard her earlier conversation. Lexie’s response erased any doubt she hadn’t.
　　　　“Why didn’t you want me?” Brooke sighed and laid her pen on the desk looking her daughter in the eye.
　　　　“I was scared and more than anything I was so young. I made some stupid mistakes and I knew I didn’t deserve you. I picked up the phone a hundred times to call your father and beg him to let me back in your life, but I knew his answer would be no. For months after you were born I cried myself to sleep at night and more often than not I drowned my sorrows with a bottle. One night I decided that to get up and do something with my life. If you came looking for me I wanted you know that I gave you up so I could build a better life for myself, be someone you could be proud of,” Brooke watched her daughter terrified of the damage leaving her daughter might have caused.
　　　　“So you never even tried to get my father to let you see me?” Lexie asked desperately.
　　　　“I never asked him to let me be part of your life, but I did call him a few years ago. I wanted to know you were okay, that you were happy, healthy. I thought he would be angry, but he wasn’t. He even kept in touch with letters and pictures. Seeing you last week was like a slap in the face because you sat in front of me and I had no idea who you were until you told me your name and I have a picture of you right here in my desk drawer,” Brooke said softly handing Lexie the picture.
　　　　In it Lexie sat on a large chestnut horse. She had just taken off her helmet and goggles and she was smiling. That had been a good day.
　　　　“Calypso,” she murmured softly.
　　　　“What did you say?” Brooke asked softly.
　　　　“This is my horse Calypso the first time we ever let her breeze. That was a good day. She did a quarter of a mile in 26 seconds. Dad was sure she had a shot at the Triple Crown. I loved that horse,” Lexie stated as more tears seemed to fall. She felt like a blubbering baby.
　　　　“Is she the one you were talking about in the hospital?” Brooke asked.
　　　　“Yeah, but how did you guess?” Lexie wanted to know.
　　　　“Instinct I guess. When you saw her it was like you were seeing a ghost. I could tell at the hospital you were talking about your horse and I kind of put it together. I’m so sorry life has been so screwed up for you the last few months. Sometimes when I look back and I beg the girl I was not to walk away. I want you to know something though. I did want you. There was never a moment that was not true. You were wanted, by your father, by me. I completely understand if you don’t want me in your life. I can find another job if you would rather, but if you are interested I would really like to get to know my daughter,” she replied.
　　　　Lexie didn’t respond at first. She was still reeling over the fact that Brooke was her mother, that she regretted walking away. She was scared, but having lost her father she wanted so badly to let Brooke in.
　　　　“I don’t know. I don’t want you to leave I’m just confused,” Lexie stated softly.

“I understand. What if we take it one day at a time? You could take private lessons with me on the weekends like we talked about and maybe we can get together one night a week for dinner,” Brooke offered.

“Did dad know you were coaching here?” Lexie asked softly.

“Yeah he did.”

“Do you think maybe that’s why he wanted me to come here if something happened to him?”

“Considering he knew I was here I would imagine that is exactly why he sent you to Amber Ridge,” Brooke replied. The two were silent for a moment, both trying to absorb what this change meant for their lives.

“I think I might like that,” Lexie finally said softly.

“Like what?”

“Taking lessons and maybe spending some time together; at least for now,” Lexie answered. Brooke checked her watch and realized it was getting late.

“We best get to the cafeteria if we want to get some dinner before they close,” she recommended.

“I wanted to see that horse I saved from the fire first. I came down to ask where he was,” Lexie stated.

“I don’t know if getting near him is a safe idea. The night of the fire may have been a freak thing,” Brooke warned.

“Please I’ll be careful. I just need to see he is okay for myself.”

“Fine five minutes and then you need to get to the caf,” Brooke replied. “Paddock 2 and do not go inside. I’ll be out to in a minute and we can walk over to eat together.”

The stallion was standing at the far corner of the small paddock. He stared at something in the distance. In the fading day light it was obvious had experienced something terrible. Lexie’s foot stepped on a leaf and he started his nostrils flaring. From a distance his confirmation was perfect and even with the scars he was the most beautiful horse she had ever seen.

There was something in his eyes that tugged at her heart as if he longed for something. The sudden connection she had the other night reared up and took hold again. In her heart Lexie knew this horse needed her and just maybe she needed him.

“Come on Lexie before we miss dinner,” her mother called. For the first time in months Lexie had hope.