Love Fool

It's not the fact that she told me that we can't be together- it's the fact that she won't even try. I know we both want to have whatever it is we have. Something could have worked, I know it could have. More than likely I'm just way in over my head. How much do I even know about this girl? I blinked in the darkness of my room after what seemed like 5 years’ time. How much does she know about me? I groaned and rolled over on my side. The bright red letters blaring into my face warned me it was 4:19 AM. I have work tomorrow. There's no way I can go in there with my head not on. Getting up out of my bed as swiftly as possible I jogged downstairs and turned on the kitchen lights. My fingers grabbed the cold aluminum phone off it's charging stand thing and I dialed Pete's number.

He answered almost immediately. "Dude you gotta help me," his voice was frantic and urgent. It woke me right up out of limbo.

"What's happening?" I asked. There was a lot of muffled noises on the other line and I could hear his heavy breathing.

"Some bitch called the cops on this party I went to. I'm running but I don't think I'll get away- Oh shit." There was a loud crash and then silence. I waited, my heart rate picking up a little bit. What if Pete ends up in jail? What if everything goes to shit or something and he gets shot? The police now a days are completely out of control; they could shoot him dead for breathing wrong.

"Get out here!" I heard him scream. My hand flew to my chest trying to calm down. Fuck anxiety.

"I don't know where the hell you are!" My voice was rising and my palms felt clammy.

Pete groaned and his breathing picked up again. "I'm in the backyard of this white house on the corner of Marietta and Bridge. Hurry the hell up!"

"Wait, no Pete!" Dial tone. Fucking hell. I grabbed my keys off the island and ran upstairs for some jeans. I can go shirtless. Even though it's probably 40 degrees outside. All for this asshole I call friend. Running back downstairs I flew through the front door, not bothering to lock it, and started up my car.

Of course I'll be the one who has to save his sorry ass again. Shit like this is always happening. I'm not necessarily complaining but I'm not thrilled to be saving Pete again. He's 23 years old. You'd think he'd grow up but no. Everyone in their 20s that I know is still fumbling around drunk and trying to figure out which direction the kitchen is in.



I slowly drove through the neighborhood, looking at every white house that seemed like it had some sort of movement in the back. I parked in front of a rundown white house and sighed heavily. Where the fuck is this dude? I pulled out my phone and began to call the idiot. I swear if I end up in jail because of Pete I'll turn him into my prison bitch.

He answered after 5 rings. "Dude, I see your car. Back up a little." I put the car in reverse and backed up as straight as I could with one hand.

"You have some explaining to do bitch." I hissed.

"Yea whatever, just unlock your doors. I gotta be quick." His voice was low and whispery to the point where I wanted to slap him all the way to Timbuktu.

Soon I heard my back door open and in slipped my small best friend and another person behind him. "What the fuck man!" I snapped. "Who the hell did you-?"

"Jasper shut the hell up and drive!" Phoebe's voice echoed in my ear and made me snap to attention. I immediately put the car in drive and floored it back to my house.

"Is anyone gonna tell me what the hell is going on?" I murmured, stopping at a red light.

I heard Pete groan. "Don't stop the car, just fucking go!" The short man shot his hands forward from the back seat attempting to drive the car himself. "We have to go! We have to go!"

"Sit the fuck down, you idiot!" Phoebe yelled. The light turned green and I peeled away feeling my heart trying to break my rib cage. "Basically we might have met at this party and then realized we both knew you and might have accidentally started a fire-"

"What?! I shouted. My knuckles gripped tight around the steering wheel and my driving started to slow. The last thing I need is a ticket. "How the fuck did you-"

"Jasper!" Pete groaned. "Stop with the fucking yelling. We just have to get back to your house and this will all blow over soon."

I sighed. These fucking two. I feel like a father. Right in this moment I've taken up this responsibility of them involuntarily. I planned to pick up a friend, not help with an escape plan. "How did the fire start?"

Phoebe laughed under her breathe and I glared at her from the rear view mirror. She didn't care. "I was fucking around with my lighter, kinda upset and some asshole bumped into me-"

"Hey! It was an accident," Pete yelled. Phoebe rolled her eyes and continued on with her story.

"I dropped it I guess on a puddle of spilt beer or something and it caught a curtain on fire. It was tiny but I kinda just walked away from it. But when it started to spread quickly and reached the ceiling- people flipped out and ran away. I ended up in the backyard and was running away with this asshole behind me and I heard him say your name on the phone. So I figured I'd catch a lift. The end." I saw a bright glow light up her face. I can finally see her beauty in a decent lighting.

Pete laughed. "Yea, that's the quicker version. I heard from some people at the party they're doing searches and whatnot to find who started it. It was kinda both of us so we could be up for jail time."

No response. I have a million things I could say or do, like slap them both for being so stupid, but that's not really appropriate right now. The rest of the car ride was a thick silence. It felt like someone filled the entire car with bad gelatin; thick tension. I pulled into my garage and go out the car. They followed suit and shuffled behind me to get into the house.

Instantly Pete went to the fridge. After a moment of shuffling through the back-of-the-back in my freezer he pulled out a carton of ice cream. I glared at him. "Where did that even come from?"

He got a spoon and looked at me like I was stupid. "Who do you think put all the junk food you ignore in your fridge? Seriously Jasper, you're clueless."

I rolled my eyes and glared at him. "Sorry I'm trying not to be a fatass."

Phoebe coughed loudly and crossed her arms. She was wearing a skin tight strapless dress with lots of long chained necklaces. The dress was designed with stars and glitters, like it was the galaxy's offspring hugging her in all the right places. "Sorry to interrupt your interesting conversation about shit that doesn't matter, but what are we gonna do?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She sighed. "There are 4 cops out there 2 neighborhoods over right now looking for 2 people who started a fire. The girl who owned the house isn't fucking around and looking to press charges. There was only 16 other people at the party so the chances of us getting caught are kind of high. I can not go to jail, I don't have money to fix the bitch's entire kitchen and roof." She stepped a little closer to me. "So I'll ask again. What are we going to do?" Her voice was strong and firm.

"We wait out till morning. It'll blow over." You could hear the tiredness dripping in my voice. I leaned back on the stove and crossed my arms. Pete grunted and jumped up to sit on the landing. Phoebe sighed and sat at the dining table.

"Now what?" Pete said, ice cream oozing out of the corner of his mouth.

I rolled my eyes and pushed up. "I don't know about you 2 idiots, but I'm going to bed."

Phoebe laughed; a laugh that sounded like she wanted to slit my throat. "Of course, sleep all of your problems off." I turned to leave and flicked her off. Her voice seemed to rise in annoyance.

"Shut the hell up!" I shouted.

I heard her heels clack against the wooden floor behind me. "Why? Because it's true? You run away from everything like an adolescent girl." I reached my room and slammed the door right when she tried to come in. She opened and stared at me. "I'm getting sick and tired of it." The anger and rage was completely evident in Phoebe's voice as she stared me down.

I sat down on my bed and laughed. "Me? I'm running away from my problems?? You're fucking kidding me right?" She shook her head, her ears producing imaginary smoke. "You didn't even want to fucking try a relationship between us. You didn't even want to give it a shot. Something could have worked."

"Because you're way in over your fucking head!" She shouted. "I want to be with you, but there's no way I'm gonna lay my heart on the line and get hurt because you realize later on down the road I'm not okay! It's not fair on either of us and you know it!" We were in a full on screaming match.

I laughed and shook my head. "You're not okay." She looked at me, her glare flattering a little. "You're perfect." Her body started to slack a little on the tough physique she showed prior. "I don't give a shit about my ex- I didn't care the minute you showed me that you're different from other girls. You're something special and yell at me all you want but I can't let you go."

Phoebe walked up to me, a swift hand colliding with my jaw. "Shut up! Shut up!" She tried to slap me again but I shot up from my seat and grabbed her hands, pulling her body closer to me.

"You're trying to pick a fight with me to turn me away but it's not working!" I screamed in her face, unintentional spit flying everywhere. I planted a heated kiss on her forehead as she yelled at me.

"Let go of me! Stop kissing me! Stop it!" It was a jumble of stops and shut ups but I didn't care. I loved having her this close to me. So close she might hear how fast my heart is beating from this anger and adrenaline. I didn't kiss her forehead longer but I still held her arms away from slapping me.

'You realize that trying to keep your distance from me will not lessen my affection for you. All efforts to save me from you will fail.' - Augustus Waters. I looked at Phoebe's wide eyes. Should I quote a book that everyone knows? Yes. Fuck it. "You realize that trying to keep your distance from me will not lessen my affection for you. All efforts to save me from you will fail."

Phoebe's brace against me melted completely and she fell onto my body. "I can't believe you just quoted John Green." I laughed and brought her in for a hug. I wanted to tell her it's going to be okay. That this could actually work. But right now it can' work. There's always a fucking interruption, like Pete running into my bedroom yelling at us.

"You fucking idiots, the cops are outside. The neighbors thought someone was getting raped or some shit! Hide!" Pete flew into my bedroom closet and I dove underneath my bed. Phoebe followed suit. I'm 67% positive this is not what you do when cops are about to knock on your door. Maybe I should just get up and answer the door. But if I do, they might not believe everything is fine and I'll be held under suspicion of rape. Not to mention if things go haywire and they search the place they could find Phoebe and take her to jail for prostitution.

Pete's right. My best bet is to stay under my bed until they go away. My neighbors are old ladies anyways. The police might think they're just delusional. I heard banging on my front door downstairs. Phoebe's hand grasped mine tightly. I felt her warm tiny hands shaking in mine.

Pete's head peaked out from the closet door. "Next time you two want to argue over bullshit, don't make it sound like someone's getting anal fisted without consent," he hissed at us. Phoebe giggled but stopped when another bang came from downstairs.

"They can't enter without a warrant..." Phoebe's voice was low and shaky like she was truly scared. I loved Phoebe's many sides but this is the one side I didn't like. Her timorous side. The Phoebe who wasn't strong, the Phoebe who was scared. It made me apprehensive as well and my bones crumble to a million pieces. From what I could see in the dimly lit room, her eyes; those beautiful eyes that looked like the grass and the sky's love child- were filling with tears.

I stared at her, unsure of my words. "It'll be okay. They're gonna go away soon," I murmured. Phoebe nodded and it seemed like she gripped my hand so tightly it could have broken my wrist.

Soon the banging stopped but in my head it felt like it took them 4 years to realize no one was home. Pete shuffled out of his hiding spot at the time I rolled out of mine. Phoebe however stayed under the bed in fear. "They're gone," I muttered. My eyes were strained out the window making sure we were completely safe.

"Why are you so scared of jail time anyways?" Pete flopped down on my bed, his body laid out like a crucifix.

"None of your fucking business." The girl with the pretty eyes and fierce attitude swiftly rolled out from under my bed, irritation evident. "Don't concern yourself about my life."

"Oh come on," I groaned. She looked at me with a shocked look; like I wasn't allowed to open my mouth just yet. "Hi, my name is Phoebe and everyone who gets close to me gets the privilege of being treated like trash because I can't come to terms with my reality." I deadpanned. My eyes were locked onto her. Pete grumbled something and in my peripheral vision I saw him scurry up to leave the room. He is one to avoid romantic conflict.

"Excuse me?" The smaller girl stepped closer to me. The way her eyes locked into mine it felt so intimidating but so welcoming all at once.

"I didn't fucking stutter." My arms folded against my chest. "I just witnessed what looked like your biggest fear and you can't even tell me why? Not even a simple 'Thanks for being more than a friend.' You're ludicrous."

Phoebe sighed and frowned at me. "When I was 15 I ran away from home. I ended up being taken from place to place, people making me do things I didn't want to do. But people liked me. Those men liked me. I'm lucky to be alive after fighting for virginity so long. I officially lost it on the job when I was 18. Then that's when I decided to turn myself in. I was in jail for qhat felt like 50 years in hell." There was a long pause. Phoebe sat down, her mind probably racing with a million flashbacks.

"He found me. The same man who got me into this business. He told me if I ever dared to put him at risk again, he'd kill me. He'd kill me and everyone I've ever thought about." Her voice was breaking. Tears rolled down her face as I looked at her sitting on my bed. This strong girl is so brave for going through hell. I have no clue what its like to be a woman let alone a prostitute for so long but I knew that if she were with me she'd never have to live in fear again.

I'd protect her. I'd keep whoever this asshole was away from her. I would keep her safe and a real place to come home to. All those things wouldn't exist anymore. "Phoebe."

Phoebe's tear-filled eyes never stopped looking at me. I stared into the soul of the bravest woman alive. I loved her. If I had to scream it from the mountains I will. I love her. Wordlessly I sat next to her, the bed dipping to bring us closer. I looked deep into her eyes as she stared at me with such worry and hope. I kissed her. Her warm lips entangled mine and I felt like my face was on fire. She kissed me back, cupping my neck.

Her salty tears mixed into the kiss as we held each other tightly. Finally I pulled away for air and rested my head on her shoulder. Her voice smooth as velvet. Her skin smells like cigarettes and new books but her hair smelled like the sidewalk after it rains. "Maybe this will work." She whispered. I held onto her tighter, never wanting to let go.