Rendering Flames

“Just give her some space, guys.” Peter’s voice woke me up, a headache no present.

I groaned, opening my eyes slightly. I was embarrassed to see almost everyone gathered around me. “What happened?”

“I tell you not to doing any major lifting so you decide the next best thing is to go throwing knives?” Peter ignored my question, checking my heartrate on my wrist.

“It was you blood pressure I was afraid of, Dahlia. Not you disturbing you healing wounds. You’re blood pressure dropped off the deep end and then you did. The saline can only do so much now that it’s being absorbed but you’ve got to take it easy until you’ve replaced the blood you have lost, okay?” Peter was scolding me like a parent would a child and I was even more embarrassed.

“Yeah, understood.” I sat up slowly, taking a glass of water from Orson.

“Good.” He sighed, satisfied, “I’ve also taken away your knives because I know you’re not going to listen to me.”

“Seems about right.” I wasn’t going to listen to him. I was bored, it was my only source of entertainment I’ve had since I had arrived at this godforsaken place.

“I want you to get rest,” Peter ordered.

“Because I haven’t had any of that lately,” I mumbled as I swung my feet off the couch I was laying on.

I tried not to waver as I stood up but I did and Peter looked as if he was going to blow a gasket. It was vertigo times a hundred as my vision went fuzzy and my head pounded even harder. Okay, I would have to take it easy. I managed to get back to my room without help though, I didn’t want to be completely helpless.

I shut my door behind me and changed into more comfortable clothing and took a seat on the edge of my bed. Orson came in and set my water on the end table and handed me a book, saying that it was from Deven. It was some philosophical book by german guy named Nietzsche. At least it was something to do though.

I sat up against my pillows, my knees brought up to my chest as I started reading some of this guy’s thoughts. It wasn’t horrible but as someone who didn’t read often enough, it was a lot to ponder. A light knock on my door drew me out of the pages to mutter an okay to come in.

Jaden poked his head in and I grunted, shaking my head as I looked back down to the book. “Are you trying to see what happens if my blood pressure goes through the roof?”

He carefully shut the door behind him and came and sat at the end of my bed. I straightened my legs out and set the book to the side. Jaden stared around the room for a good few minutes and then at his hands in his lap before finally saying something.

“I didn’t know Alex was going to talk to you,” he said quietly.

“I know. You don’t sort out your problems through someone else.” Alex was also someone who seemed to go to her own beat anyways, without caring much about implications.

“She did convince me to talk to you though after I explained to her why you aren’t a person she needs to talk too,” he started and I was about to tell him just to leave when he surprised me. “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” I questioned, wondering if he really knew what for.

“And not just sorry. I mean, I’ve been an asshole.”

I leaned back a little more, interested. “Okay, continue.”

“I was afraid?” He sounded unsure. “Everything was just so consistent before you and Orson showed up. I was caught off guard when you did and I avoided the hell out of it. I was running from my past you could say. I told Alex everything a long time ago and Peter and anyone else here doesn’t know anything. I had to come clean a little when you called me by my name though. I just said I was on the run from some people and that I don’t use my own name.”

“Sorry to ruin your happy times then, I guess.” Not getting what he was giving.

“No, Dahlia. I have more of a past now then I did when we were around each other. I’ve been running from so much more than you know, that part is true.” I sat up straighter.

“I knew Orson from when my running first kind of started. I went by Bryce or something back then.. He’s a good guy but I was really surprised to see you with the likes of him. I knew he wasn’t like some of the other people I was around, he isn’t someone violent. He knows what happened to me though and I made him promise not to tell you, it was another reason I tried to play you off.”

I scooted next to him, my elbows resting on my knees. “You made Orson lie to me? Jaden--,”

“No, we agreed not to tell you,” he clarified. “He could have told you if he wanted but he promised not to, again. He said that Richie had told you about the guy who shot Kruger and well, I know Orson knew that guy too.”

“So, are you going to tell me what you’ve been up to or are you going to play me off some more?” I felt like I was owed an explanation.

“Everything you called me out on the other day was true. Every part of it. I can’t lie to you anymore and so with that, I have to say that what Richie told you about was about me.” He shoulders were rounded with pressure.

“What do you mean about you? You mean,” I paused, piecing some clues together, “you shot, Kruger.”

“Yeah.” He whispered.

I chuckled, tossing my book to the floor.. “Of course you did. Who else would have more cause than you.”

“I didn’t go after him. He went after me.” He lifted his shirt up and turned so I could see the bullet scar on his lower back.

My fingers grazed it. I remember what Richie had said, the nasty scar it had left. The surrounding skin was discolored and the actual bullet hole was covered with a raised scar, spider veins surrounding it.. Jaden arched away when I applied a little more pressure. I would be surprised if it caused him discomfort.

“Just a few minutes after you and Millie escaped, Kruger caught sight of me.” He let his shirt fall back down and he sat back next to me.

“I immediately ran, not wanting to go at it with them then. But he got some guys on me and they beat the shit out of me. He was playing me really. He could’ve killed me the moment he saw me. Luckily, Bryant and some others came in and showered some bullets so I got free. I didn’t know if I’d get another chance so I turned and fired blindly. I didn’t realize I had hit him until I saw him keel over. I was too shocked to run at first but it wasn’t until Bryant shoved me out of the way of someone firing at me that I ran. Bryant risked his life for me and to this day I have no idea why he would. But I thought I was free when I reached that drop off that was just under the lookout site that would be used.” I nodded my head, remembering exactly where he was talking about.

“I heard my name being called, and stupidly, I turned. I don’t know how he had caught up to me with him being shot but he did. I didn’t think twice before I jumped off the ledge but he shot me before I was out of sight.”

“And here I thought you had developed some bad anger issues,” I joked a little.

“It weird, none of what happened is as bad as what that bullet brought me. It’s hell. Muscle cramps, tremors, shooting pains up and down my limbs. And I get these hallucinations sometimes,” he turned to me very seriously, “I think it had some of whatever what used on you, Dahlia.”

I was perplexed at the idea, not believing that small of a dose would affect him the same it had been affecting me. “When I had the electrotherapy done?”

“The hallucinations happen not often enough for me to be worried but it’s more the night terrors. The reason Alex is so protective over me is that she is the only one that really knows what happened and who I am. She sleeps in the same room as I do with the door locked because I sleep walk and I could really harm someone if I just go around anywhere. I hurt myself like you did.”

I felt like a horrible person, thinking that Jaden was just being shallow or had moved on. “It sucks, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “It’s vivid sometimes and it’s also partially why I froze up that night I saw you. You kept saying that none of it was real. I get that now in one form or another. And I thought maybe that it wasn’t real, that you weren’t really there in front of me.”

I sat and thought for a few minutes, mulling over all that he had confessed. “Well, I feel like the asshole now.”

Jaden smiled a little, “it was warranted.”

“True.” I turned to him, looking at him in all seriousness.”But no more lying or like keeping things like this from each other from now on? It really bugged me being so mad at you. I wanted to hate you but there’s this annoying aspect about you that can never allow me to actually hate you..”

“I have that effect on people.” Jaden looked down at his hands, “it’d be impossible to hate you too, Dahlia. You carry that same aspect too.”

We sat in quiet for awhile before I perked up. “Well, this has been interesting but I’m kicking you out. Peter has me on lockdown and I was kind of getting into Deven’s book he gave me.”

“I’ll let you get back to it then,” he stood up, heading for the door.

“Oh, and Jaden?” I stopped him before he left, “tell Alex I don’t bite or anything. I think we just misunderstood each other.”

He smiled and nodded, seeming pleased that I’d be willing to give Alex another shot. The door closed behind him and I grabbed the book, picking up where I left off.