Max Talbot, Family Man?

*Jan. 14th, 2014*

I was at my wits end. Max was on a road trip, due back anytime and the kids were crying again. I knew what cry it was too, they were hungry - again. So here I was trying not to lose it while I waited for our pediatrician Dr. Bouzarelous. He was getting the office lactation consultant. The kids had gained weight in the 3 weeks since they had been born but not much and they were always hungry, I felt like a cow not a mom.

When they came in I was surprised to find that the consultant was as petite as I am. I hadn't noticed really the last time I saw her. Actually it set my mind at ease, she would have a clue. "Hello again Jassmine. I'm not sure you remember me, I'm Stacey. I've heard we've had a major setback." She picked up Jaxson and began rocking him.

I choked back a sob. "Don't get me wrong, I love my children. I want what's best for them, but I also want sleep. Their dad is on the Avs so he's gone a lot, I've only been here a couple months so the few people I know are also busy hockey wives and it feels like all these two want to do is _eat_." I picked up Danique and began rocking her. I took a breath and continued. "I'm up all the time with them wanting to nurse. My breasts hurt, my nipples are sore and _nothing_ I've tried has helped me produce more." At this point I broke down crying again. Stacey leaned out, said something to the nurse and then sat beside me.

"Jassmine, what I'm about to say is very important." She paused for effect. "You're a good mom, but it's time to let it go." I was shocked and gaped at her, not so soon! "I know. Me, a lactation consultant and pro-natural feeder, is saying this. You know Dr. B and I have worked with you since day 1. We feel that you've done everything in your power to increase your supply... that you've gone beyond the call for everything you have done." She put a hand on my knee. "You just aren't meant to feed these two like you want." There was a knock on the door and in came Julia with the smallest bottles I'd ever seen. "We're going to try an experiment. You and I are going to feed these two some formula and see how they take it. Once that's done I want to check your breasts. Okay?" I sniffled and nodded.

Once the kids each had just about 2 ounces each, and a good burping, they fell asleep. That's when Stacey told me each bottle was 2 ounces deep. We put them in their car seats and she began checking me over. It hurt so much even though I know she was being gentle. As I pulled myself back together after, my face was streaked with tears.

Stacey sat next to me again and looked at me. "You're a good mom, I've seen that. However, you will have to stop breastfeeding." I was crushed, how could she call me a good mom when I couldn't feed my babies? Clearly that showed with her next sentence. "It's my professional opinion that if you feed them, or any subsequent children, you could damage your breasts."

I felt like she'd put a dagger in my heart. "So I have to bottle feed them?" She nodded.

"For their health and safety, not to mention your sanity, yes. You have gone beyond the call of motherly duty to keep going and trying. Now it's time to think about health, yours and theirs. We're going to send you home with a few samples and suggest you find bottles and formula they like best."

Dr. B came in then. "I'm sorry Jassmine, you have done everything and then some. I am proud that you worked so hard but they aren't thriving like they should be." Just then Jaxson woke with a scream and threw up.

Dr. B moved him to the table and undressed him. With an examination he sighed. "Well, it seems Similac doesn't agree with him." Then Danique started as well. "Make that them." I stripped Danique and the car seat covers from both. "If this is making them throw up, go get the Gerber Gentle ready to feed nursers. One for each."

Once changed and re-fed we waited 20 minutes to see how they would react. They were find. "Ok, don't use anything but the Gerber Good Start Gentle formula. I would recommend Tommee Tippee bottles too." With that advice, and now more laundry to do, I checked out. On the way home I stopped at Target to get the supplies we would need.

While we were shopping an older woman came over and looked at my sleeping babies. "How old?" She asked politely.

"Three weeks." I replied thankful that I had wiped my face.

"They're beautiful. Are you having to bottle feed them?" I nodded sadly and she smiled. "That's a hard thing to reconcile, but it's all good for them now. My own grandkids preferred the Avent bottles but my great-granddaughter loves the Tommee Tippee products."

I smiled. "Our pediatrician said Tommee Tippee was well and Gerber Gentle as Similac made them throw it up." I loaded a couple kits onto the cart as she moved on. I grabbed the formula and checked out.

As I got into the car my phone trilled, I had left it in the car again. Checking it I saw the _3rd_ reminder about getting Max, I was late! I tried calling him but got no answer so I called Gigs. "Hello?" He sounded semi-panicked.

"Hi Gigs, tell Max I'm on my way. I lost track of time." I was moving as quickly as I could through the snarl that was 470.

"Jass?" He then sounded relieved. "Go home Jass. We got in early and your boy is worried sick cause you 3 aren't there." Oh Shit! I changed lanes and tamped down on my growing fear.

I turned towards the house. We had agreed to go there after getting him. We're headed that way, I won't call cause traffic is a mess. Let him know we're ok will ya?" Gigs chuckled and swore he would before hanging up.

I hadn't cursed at traffic this much since leaving Philly. I sighed in relief as we pulled into the driveway. I couldn't pull into the garage cause someone blocked it. I hit the opener which would tell Max I was home. I pulled the still sleeping kids out of the car and headed into the house to face the music. I got into the garage proper when the door opened. "Oh Thank God!" There was Max, right on schedule. "I thought you just forgot until I got here and no one could find you."

I set the seats down and let him hug me tight. "We had an emergency appointment with Dr. B." I looked at him seriously. "Max we need to talk." That sobered him as he looked at me. "I know we talked about how we wanted to give these two the best. Max I've been told to stop breastfeeding, for good." He looked stricken and I started to cry again. My head dropped. "I've tried everything, but I'm not producing enough and if I continue I risk the health of us all. As of today we're bottle feeders." I felt Max sag against me. He then lifted my chin and kissed my tears away.

"I'm sorry babe, I know you hoped things would be okay. If this is what's best then we do it. Just think I can help more now too. I thought you were going to say something worse than this." He left me in the garage as he ran out to my still open Lexus and grabbed the bags. "Come on, let's go see what you got."

We all went inside and Max insisted on being the one to pull the kids out. He sighed in relief as he checked them over too. Laying them in their bassinet, he had me sit so he could take a look at everything. He looked at the formula the office had given me. "So small." I stifled a giggle. He pulled out the first set and then noticed the second. "Two sets of bottles?" I shrugged and waved a hand at the kids which made him laugh. "Ok so maybe two colors are a genius idea."

Just then Matt came in from the living room. "The guys all know. Hi Jass."

I flushed. "Hi Matty, sorry for..." He cut me off with a shake of his head.

"You guys are all safe that's what matters. Bottles huh, bummer. On the bright side Uncle Matty can help feed them now." His eyes sparkled, he loved holding babies.

Danique squirmed and started to fuss. Max picked her up and went to change her like always. He brought back a happier baby and his own grin. "Someone hates being wet and boy was she." Relief sang through me. I might not be able to breastfeed my babies but we would be just fine. Both of them wanted more food so as Matt and I opened the bottles and formula, Max changed Jaxson. When Matt and I had the bottles ready, the boys took the kids to feed them. I got told to go relax, I went upstairs to take a much needed nap.

I was woken a couple hours later by a camera flash and someone cursing. Peeling open an eye I saw Matt was still here. "Sorry I couldn't resist, you looked so peaceful. Max wants you downstairs."

I got up and sighed, this had been an awful day. As I came down the stairs I heard Max giggling. I followed the sound into the living room. I saw Max on the floor with both kids on their tummies. They had hated tummy time before today, but they were taking an interest in it now. Max spotted me and grinned. "Say hi to Mommy." He waved their hands. "Hi Mommy. We have clean pants and full bellies. Daddy and Uncle Matty rock, but we love you best."

I let out a laugh, I couldn't help it. Max was making them even more adorable. He stood up and picked up Jaxson. Handing him to me, he steered me into my favorite chair. One I hadn't been able to sit in for a while. "Hold our son. Once everyone gets here, you won't be." I sat, a bit confused, and got absorbed into watching Jax watch me.

I heard a chuckle and looked up to see Matt holding danique. "You looked lost in his eyes." He was slowly rocking her.

I blushed. "This is really the first time since the hospital that they've been awake and quiet. Do you know what's going on with Max?" He'd gone and was doing something.

Matt smiled. "Yeah, he's getting ready to have some of the team over." I looked at him wide eyed.

Max came in with Ashley. She went and cuddled with Matt a little, while Max stood behind me. "With everything you gave up for these two. I thought it was only fair that you get to reclaim some of them." The door opened and about half of the team and the girls walked in.

Kristen and Gigs came over and hugged me. "Max told us what's happened. I called the girls and explained. Together we decided we needed to celebrate that you're all healthy." She took Jaxson from me carefully.

Max helped me up and handed me a glass of wine. He raised his own glass and gave a toast. "To my loving Jassmine, who gave up everything to give our kids the world. It's time for her to get them back. Let's start this "Mama now gets to 'fill in the blank' again" party!" Someone hit the music!"

Between music, food and as much alcohol as I wanted I didn't hold the kids all night. I didn't even get to feed or change them either. Not surprising as we had basically been holed up since Gran left due to them always being hungry. I saw Max share their newborn photos that were in their first Avs gear and many manly hockey players melting at the sight of my little ones looking so adorable.

When I could no longer stay on my feet due to sleep deprivation and too many alcoholic drinks, Max took me upstairs. He put me into bed after giving me several glasses of water and some pain killers. I felt him kiss my temple as I drifted off to dreamland. "Sleep well my queen. I'll take care of our Prince and Princess tonight."