I'm Begging you To stay

When the world stops spinning and people start dying. The person we love will be the only ones that remember our lives. Our husbands will be our paparazzi. They'll capture all of our drama. They'll be in our lives, never intending to leave unless we fuck up. Isn't that the purpose of love? Of marriage? Why bother to live if you never find someone to remember who you were?

Reminder: Find the person to watch you live and then never let them go.

My head wouldn't stop throbbing. Life wasn't so hard. I didn't know why I felt so anxious. I wanted more. Inside every time I started to think about Brendon my chest would become heavy and every time I thought about Caleb my chest would tighten, both of them literally making it harder for me to breath.
I remember back on the bus I would close my eyes and wait for the room to brighten every time we drove under a stop light. One, two, three... I would count to myself. I'd inhale the smell of Brendon's scent. Always in the back of my mind I'd compare him to Caleb. Brendon would be victorious. I was starting to think maybe the only reason I missed Brendon was because he was the first guy better then my past, better then Caleb.
In the smoothie shop I compared Caleb to Brendon. Brendon would be victorious...again.
I plopped down onto my bed with my cell phone next to me. Since when has my beautiful, trusty cell phone been my enemy? At the moment it brought me nothing but bad news. The sun was shinning brightly through my closed shades. Today I wanted to be secluded like an island but the knocks at my door would make that impossible.
Go away I would say, but the knocks would keep coming. I stood up and sucked in as much as air as I could to keep the frustration bottled inside me.
When you shake up a coke can and open the lid all of the soda spills out. I was the coke can and Caleb was the person to shake the can.
What are you doing here? I would ask. He would respond by walking inside my room. He just had to keep shaking the can. He would preach to me how he wanted to see me and just be graced by my presents. Shake bitch, shake.

Question # 1885.3: If bounty paper towels cleans up spilled soda, then what cleans up spilled feelings?

I sat. My chest was tight. The room was spinning. I felt as if I was drowning. . .but I liked it.
"Callie are you okay?"
"Would you stop asking me that?!"
"Callie, honestly I think that's only the beginning of the questions I have for you." Awe his accent . . .
"You left Caleb, you can't ask the questions!"
"Callie you are not going to bring this up, are you?"
I quickly stomped over to him sitting on my bed, "You made me feel safe, you made me feel something I haven't ever felt before, you made me feel loved Caleb. Tell me how someone I loved so much can just leave and for you not to expect me to be mad. . .hurt?"
"Loved?"
"What were you expecting?" I said below a whisper.
"I wanted us to be the same. I wanted what we had again. I knew it wasn't going to happen in a snap but I wanted it to happen!"
"You honestly thought I'd wait for you . . .?"
He looked back up to me with a hurt expression on his face, "I guess so. . ."
"I'm sorry Caleb but I just couldn't, I held on to you for to long."
"How long Callie? Honestly?" he said in a sarcastic tone.
"You want to know how long?! From the day you left to the day I met him." We both sat there wide eyed. It didn't matter if Caleb knew who I was talking about. He was hurt enough, knowing who would just break him more.
"I should go. . ." he left without looking back. I replayed the scene that just happened and couldn't help but think that the only person on the earth that has loved me has just left me without looking back. I made a mistake. Maybe he was the one? Or maybe I had left the one that i had loved the most...maybe.

Ryan's POV
"God damn it Brendon shut the fuck up!"
"Don't be jealous."
"We got you that free sex line gift certificate to make you stop moping around."
"Your point is?"
"APPRICATE IT!" my throat stung from screaming at Brendon to make him stop moaning and panting. The boy was seriously love sick.
Ring Ring Ring!
"No mom I don't need anymore-"
"Mom?"
"Oh Callie. . .hey." I heard her giggle. It was a light soft sound that was laced with depression. How I longed for her to be next to me, that maybe I could embrace her in my arms and let her sadness melt. I wish I had powers to make her happy.
"So I hate to be a bother-"
"You're not."
"Well good," annoyance of me cutting her off spiced her words, "I'm coming."
I was trying to find the words to say to express how happy I was but nothing spectacular came to mind, "Awesome. You're mom changed her mind?"
"Not exactly." She admitted guilty.
"Callie. . . "I sighed.
"She'll deal. Right now I just need to well see him. I need to see you. At the moment I feel so distant from you both."
"Well we do have a couple good hundred miles between us." I added a chuckle to hide my stunned voice. She missed me. The thought alone made me grin insanely.
"Where will you be in two days?"
"Detroit."
"In Ohio?"
"What? No, Callie. Michigan."
"I know, I was testing you."
"That cover up is beyond old."
"Goodbye Ryan."
Callie was finally coming. I looked over to the moping brown eyed boy I called my best friend and saw the same feelings I heard in Callie's voice. How could I ever compare. I loved Callie but so did he. He was my best friend and I was his, I'd find someone.
"Hey Urie, Callie's coming.
"What. . . .?"