I'm Begging you To stay

I am the villian to you

I'm on a plane. I'm in a taxi. I'm in a hotel lobby. I'm in my hotel room. I'm waiting. I'm crazy.
I traveled to Detroit to meet up with the boys. I was a nervous wreck. I'd expect Jon to welcome me back with open arms, Spencer to welcome me back and open my suit case, I'd expect Ryan to welcome me and greet me with his captivating smile but Brendon might just keep playing his game. Me, just a friend after everything we'd share? Don't forget me, he asked. I could never, but everyday I wish I could.
I flipped the channels on the TV not really paying attention to what was on the screen. They'd get to the hotel in an hour and I had nothing to do. I contemplated whether or not pretending to be Ryan's girlfriend was a good idea. Hopefully, he'd become outrageously jealous and confess his feelings for me. I didn't want to see him so defeated. I didn't want to hurt Ryan's feelings in the process. This would mean more to him then it did to me. At this point he was my best friend. A boy I could turn to and confide everything in. A boy like that I'd never want to lose and I wish this relationship was platonic but it wasn't, not for him and maybe not for me. Maybe.
3 knocks at the door would signal their arrival. My heart skipped a beat and my palms became sweaty. I opened and revealed all four boys at my door. I stood there and waited for the boys to stop staring at me wide eyed.
"We missed you!" Spencer was the first to push his way out of the 3 other boys and give me a big hug.
"Awe, I missed you too Spency!" I plastered a wide smile on my face. It was hard not to feel like a child around this boy.
Next was Jon, "Callie, my favorite girl!"
We exchanged a hug as well, "Johnny, my favorite boy!"
Ryan and Brendon both took steps forward but Ryan let Brendon go first. We both just looked at each other. Eye to eye, both feeling guilty for some reason or another. "Hi Callie, I've missed you." Bet you have bitch.
Note to self: Take full advantage of your voice inside your head.
"I've missed you too." I whispered in his ear as he gave me a hug. It bothered me that his hug felt just like Spencer's and Jon's. There was no intensity or intimacy in it. His hug wasn't supposed to feel like that.
"No one left in the hallway. I think I'll just close the door now." I joked and saw a small grin on Ryan's face appear.
"Knock it off and give me a hug." I did as he said and let him through the door.
The boys had found there places on chairs or on top of my bed.
"So why are you coming back on the bus, life on the road was too hard to keep away from?" Jon asked.
"I didn't have that much to do at home. I want to experience stuff too." I said nonchalant.
"Well I'm hungry." Spencer stated.
"As am I." Jon backed him up.
"Let's go to lunch?" I questioned. They all nodded in agreement and made their way to the door. I lagged behind to put on my shoes and grab some cash.
"Yeah, I'll be down in a second hold on." I said, struggling to stomp my shoes on.
"Can I talk to you before we head down?"
I looked up to see Ryan standing meekly along the door frame, "Sure, what's up?"
"You see what I mean, I told you he's acting like a douche."
"Maybe he doesn't feel anything for me anymore?"
"No Callie, that isn't it. He was moping when you left and nothing could cheer him up. News of you coming was the only thing that brought color back to his face and he started to sing better at every gig. You have him sick."
"Ugh, I honestly have no idea what to do." I was confused, he wanted me but wouldn't act that way in front of me? What did he want? Did I have to throw my self at him and write on a big poster 'I LOVE YOU', to make him see?
"You can't let him toy with you."
"I don't plan to."
"I see you obviously need him, which is bizarre, seeing as you barely know each other."
"It's not like I can control how I feel. I fall like this Ryan."
"I guess you can't choose how you land either."

Rule #209: Best friends are not allowed to be douches.

"The guys are waiting." I said in hopes of changing the conversation.
"We'll play a game too. Just like he is. Let's try that whole fake relationship thing. It just might work."
"I've thought it through and there's too much at risk."
"Like what?"
"Brendon could end up pissed that we faked something just to get him jealous. He'll feel betrayed-"
"He'll understand."
"We'll belittle him."
"He has a pretty big ego, we won't hurt to much of it."
"That doesn't matter."
"Just like all the reasons you are giving me. So why don't you just tell me the real reason you don't want to do this." He was very manipulative.
The conversation moved so quickly, by the end I don't know where we had lead to and I ended up telling him something I wish I hadn't, "Because this will mean more to you then it does to me. I don't want to hurt you."
And with that he stormed out of the room, ashamed at the assumptions I had created. Maybe Ryan never felt that way towards me. Maybe he was just trying to get back at Brendon for past vendettas. Maybe.

Ryan's POV
This whole time she had known my feelings for her, yet she toy with me to get Brendon's attention. Well she had thought of my feelings. If she didn't, she wouldn't have hesitated to begin "fake" dating me. Did her caring enough to think of my feelings when it came to this mean anything? Was I more to her then just a friend? I didn't want Brendon to hurt her. I didn't want Brendon to keep hurting her. I wanted her to be happy but not just happy. Happy with me.
"Where's Callie? I'm ravenous."
"She'll be coming down-"
"Nope there she is." Brendon cut my sentence short. He raced to her side and held out his hand. She looked taken back but grasped his hand in hers and he made sure he laced her fingers with his.
This infuriated me. What happened to Callie is my friend and that's how it was always. Or She's a cool girl but not the one. This was all bullshit.
I felt protective over her since she couldn't see the games being played. I felt. . .like I need to save her.
♠ ♠ ♠
I wish Ryan Ross was my best friend...