I'm Begging you To stay
Fate has chosen security.
"Ry-you're-I really." I couldn't form a sentence so I did what I could to control my feelings.
I ran.
I ran out of the thickness of the man made forest and found my way past the back area of the hotel and into the elevator. I didn't know if Ryan was trying to catch up to me as I ran, but it didn't matter, I wouldn't have stopped.
I began to think about the comfort Ryan gave me. How I was fascinated with him and his every action. I thought of those feelings as a sisterly bond with him. I thought our friendship was platonic, at least for me...
Flashes of Brendon and me together earlier over took my brain. Brendon made me feel so wild, so alive and I could be myself with him. I compared him to Caleb and Brendon would always be the successor. I compared him to everyone ... accept Ryan.
The elevator doors opened and I walked out of it towards my room. I wasn't so sure if Brendon was in there but he'd understand that I needed to be alone and leave me be for awhile.
I came up to my door and found it to be opened.
Note to self: Never leave a boy to lock your doors, they are idiots and most likely won't do it.
'Great.' I mumbled to myself as I pushed the door open completely. A loud ear piercing scream escaped my mouth. I didn't even realize I was the one roaring. I didn't realize....
"Brendon!"
He lifted his hand and pointed towards me, "Look out." He said barely audible.
I was so confused, I spun around quickly to find Caleb behind the door, his hands reddened with blood.
"Caleb...what have you done? WHY ARE YOU HERE?!"
"Hello Callie. Nice to see you too." He said sarcastically. I grimaced at his voice. His accent no longer made the butterflies flutter in my stomach but wrap around me like a terrible nightmare, "You're mother told me that you ran away...again," he played with the tip of the knife in his hands, "She told me she need help to find you and bring you home."
"I'll go home. I promise but please just leave." I pleaded. Tears gathering in my eyes.
"Ya know, I'd be satisfied with that if I was stupid enough to think you wouldn't eventually just come running back to them."
"They're all just my friends. I'll make new ones. I won't come back but please. Just leave!"
"DO YOU FUCK YOUR FRIENDS CALLIE? DO YOU?!" he came towards me with the knife to my throat.
The tears were no longer in my eyes, they were pouring down my cheeks. "I'm sorry Caleb. Please don't do this." My lip quivered as I spoke.
"I came here to bring you back, like I promised your mother. BUT I think I'll do her one better. I'll make it impossible for you to never ever return." I shut my eyes and waited for the blade to graze my throat, instead he had put down the knife and went over to Brendon who was lying on the floor bleeding from his side. "So you are the famous Brendon Urie?" he snickered in his face and pulled his hair making Brendon's face closer to his.
"Don't you dare touch him!"
"You stay fucking back whore!" his voice was a slap in the face. Fear kept me glued to the ground. "Now where were we? Ah yes, Mr. Urie," Brendon eyes kept flickering, trying to stay open but I could tell he was weak, "I can see why all these little girls love you. Look at that face!" he took Brendon's jaw and swayed it around, "Wouldn't you agree Callie? Of course you would! But unfortunately for you Brendon, I fucking hate your music." At the end of his sentence he graze Brendon's throat with the shiny knife.
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I cried. But it was to late. The blood was dripping from the blade. It all happened so quickly. Caleb had slit Brendon's throat and I was now knocked to the ground.
How am I on the ground?
I looked up to find Ryan hovering over Caleb's panting body. Caleb's eyes slowly loosing life, a pool of blood around his head and a broken chair around his body.
Caleb stopped breathing and Ryan finally became less tense. He let his eyes search the room quickly till they landed on Brendon.
"No man please. Brendon hang on!" tears already spilling out of his eyes.
I ran to the phone and called the 911 and told them to come but I was too late. Brendon was gone.
I sank to Ryan's side in front of Brendon. "He said-He said-." Ryan's face was empty and shocked.
"What did he say? What did he say? WHAT DID HE SAY RYAN!?"
"HE SAID FOR US TO BE HAPPY! He said for us to be happy..."
I ran.
I ran out of the thickness of the man made forest and found my way past the back area of the hotel and into the elevator. I didn't know if Ryan was trying to catch up to me as I ran, but it didn't matter, I wouldn't have stopped.
I began to think about the comfort Ryan gave me. How I was fascinated with him and his every action. I thought of those feelings as a sisterly bond with him. I thought our friendship was platonic, at least for me...
Flashes of Brendon and me together earlier over took my brain. Brendon made me feel so wild, so alive and I could be myself with him. I compared him to Caleb and Brendon would always be the successor. I compared him to everyone ... accept Ryan.
The elevator doors opened and I walked out of it towards my room. I wasn't so sure if Brendon was in there but he'd understand that I needed to be alone and leave me be for awhile.
I came up to my door and found it to be opened.
Note to self: Never leave a boy to lock your doors, they are idiots and most likely won't do it.
'Great.' I mumbled to myself as I pushed the door open completely. A loud ear piercing scream escaped my mouth. I didn't even realize I was the one roaring. I didn't realize....
"Brendon!"
He lifted his hand and pointed towards me, "Look out." He said barely audible.
I was so confused, I spun around quickly to find Caleb behind the door, his hands reddened with blood.
"Caleb...what have you done? WHY ARE YOU HERE?!"
"Hello Callie. Nice to see you too." He said sarcastically. I grimaced at his voice. His accent no longer made the butterflies flutter in my stomach but wrap around me like a terrible nightmare, "You're mother told me that you ran away...again," he played with the tip of the knife in his hands, "She told me she need help to find you and bring you home."
"I'll go home. I promise but please just leave." I pleaded. Tears gathering in my eyes.
"Ya know, I'd be satisfied with that if I was stupid enough to think you wouldn't eventually just come running back to them."
"They're all just my friends. I'll make new ones. I won't come back but please. Just leave!"
"DO YOU FUCK YOUR FRIENDS CALLIE? DO YOU?!" he came towards me with the knife to my throat.
The tears were no longer in my eyes, they were pouring down my cheeks. "I'm sorry Caleb. Please don't do this." My lip quivered as I spoke.
"I came here to bring you back, like I promised your mother. BUT I think I'll do her one better. I'll make it impossible for you to never ever return." I shut my eyes and waited for the blade to graze my throat, instead he had put down the knife and went over to Brendon who was lying on the floor bleeding from his side. "So you are the famous Brendon Urie?" he snickered in his face and pulled his hair making Brendon's face closer to his.
"Don't you dare touch him!"
"You stay fucking back whore!" his voice was a slap in the face. Fear kept me glued to the ground. "Now where were we? Ah yes, Mr. Urie," Brendon eyes kept flickering, trying to stay open but I could tell he was weak, "I can see why all these little girls love you. Look at that face!" he took Brendon's jaw and swayed it around, "Wouldn't you agree Callie? Of course you would! But unfortunately for you Brendon, I fucking hate your music." At the end of his sentence he graze Brendon's throat with the shiny knife.
"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I cried. But it was to late. The blood was dripping from the blade. It all happened so quickly. Caleb had slit Brendon's throat and I was now knocked to the ground.
How am I on the ground?
I looked up to find Ryan hovering over Caleb's panting body. Caleb's eyes slowly loosing life, a pool of blood around his head and a broken chair around his body.
Caleb stopped breathing and Ryan finally became less tense. He let his eyes search the room quickly till they landed on Brendon.
"No man please. Brendon hang on!" tears already spilling out of his eyes.
I ran to the phone and called the 911 and told them to come but I was too late. Brendon was gone.
I sank to Ryan's side in front of Brendon. "He said-He said-." Ryan's face was empty and shocked.
"What did he say? What did he say? WHAT DID HE SAY RYAN!?"
"HE SAID FOR US TO BE HAPPY! He said for us to be happy..."
♠ ♠ ♠
Epilogue:3 years and I still wake up to see his face in the shine of the sun. The guilt no longer hung over my life but mixed in with the rest of my depressions. I could still imagine him dancing around on stage, laughing on the bus and his body against mine.
3 years with out Brendon Boyd Urie.
Panic! at the disco died with him but the three other boys lived. Jon and Spencer had come apart of other bands after months of mourning. Ryan had become a producer. All three of them agreed they couldn't play together if they didn't have their front man.
I now lived with my father because the sight of my mother sickened me. My days were filled with work and collage. I'd sit at a bench in the mornings waiting for my first class to start and think about my family that was now incomplete.
Today was no different. The cold metal of the bench sent shivers of up my back. I opened the book I had to read for my first class and found I couldn't concentrate. Something about the air wasnt right.
"Can I sit here?" a voice asked. I didn't bother to raise my head from my book.
"He said for us to be happy and it hasn't been working out has it?" I looked blankly at the page. I was frozen.
"What are you doing here?" I'd been a while since any of the boys contacted me.
"Picking up what Brendon wanted me to do?"
"Which would be?"
"His happiness." My cheeks blushed "Coffee?"
In the middle of January a warm breeze blew through the collage campus and it made me feel...happy. If this wasn't a sign from an angel then i didn't know what was. I smiled and said. "Sure."
Note to self: The end.