I'm Begging you To stay

A feeling called anxiety

I spent minutes lying in my bed trying to figure her out. I wanted know why she was so quiet but filled with so much insight. Why couldn't she share her thoughts and make the world more beautiful? It didn't matter what she said or when she said it or how she said it, some how everything that came out of her mouth was perfect. If she could sing her mind, you couldn't even call it music for it would just put it to shame. It hurt though, to watch her look at Brendon. I could see her eyes light up and her smirk turn into a smile with him. I wondered if I brought her a joy Brendon didn't. Did I make her smile deep inside? Did I make her stomach feel like she had a swarm of butterflies in it? Callie might have felt something for Brendon but emotion change. Right?

Rule # 090: First the worst. Second the damn BEST!

I sat on the couch at the front of the bus watching Jon try to catch popcorn in his mouth as he threw it in the air. I turned my head to the left and saw the big open rode. The motion of bus always made me sleepy. Now it gave me anxiety, would we ever get anywhere where I would meet her. The girl I needed. A sweet smell reached my nose. There she was,
"So Brendon's retarded." Callie stated bluntly.
"You just realized that?"
She smirked, "He makes me happy." Great. He made her happy. Why couldn't I do that? Did she ever talk about me? No, only Brendon.
"Callie, tell me. What makes you happy?"
She looked at me confused, as if I wasn't a person that would ever care to take the time to know her, "You're willing to listen?" I blinked a couple times and nodded, "A lot of things make me happy."
"Well if you're not going to be specific then tell me a secret."
Her tummy grumbled loudly as if it hadn't gotten food in a long time, "I have...had an eating disorder." My breath got caught in my throat. Callie was beautiful, why would she have to hurt herself like that? I looked at her she did look a little bit smaller then most girls her age and height.
"Callie, you really don't need to starve yourself-"
"I don't anymore." She protested.
"Why did you?"
"Well when both your parents are divorced and every time you visit one parent, they are completely different, you act different, then you start to feel different. You could image how lost I feel sometimes. I guess I got so lost one day, I found myself, every time I skipped a meal." She stared down at her feet but my eyes were glued on her. My mind raced with thoughts. The one that popped out the most was, 'is she okay?' "I rather you not treat me differently."
"I won't." I croaked. She rested her head on my shoulder and took a deep breath in.
"Don't tell Brendon."
"Why not?" I asked.
"I don't want him to think of me differently... I don't want him to treat me differently."
"He'll treat you differently because he cares about you."
"Still, don't." I nodded as a responds.
Callie Green, I barely knew her but she amazed me. I wrapped my arms around her and just held her for that moment. I knew Brendon wasn't on her mind now.
After a while we stopped in front of a gas station for more snacks and gas.
"So is Callie mad at me?" Brendon asked as he came up behind me.
"I don't know."
"You talked to her for a long time she must have said something."
"I don't know." I repeated.
He took a frustrated sigh and walked away. I knew Callie was giving him anxiety. I walked into the mini mart for a red bull or some sort of energy drink. I wanted to be hyper and then crash for a good night sleep. On my way to the refrigerator, I past the chip aisle. Callie was standing on the other side. I stopped for a bag of Chex Mix and spotted Callie looking up at me. She quickly looked down to try and hide her gaze. Soon her eyes fell upon me again but I looked down to try and avoid her eyes, I didn't want her thinking I was looking at her.
Brendon's POV
Ding Ding
The door rang as I walked into the gas station. I knew exactly where I was headed; to the back where they always kept the sodas and water bottles. Every gas station seemed the same now. As I walked to the back I saw Callie and Ryan giggling at looking at each other and of course I notice the red tint on Callie's cheeks. Ryan wouldn't have met Callie if it wasn't for me, he didn't even want her on the bus to begin with!

Rule #567: Never let jealousy drive you insane.

"We're leaving in a couple minutes so get your shit and go." I said in a cold voice as I passed the two. I could feel their eyes follow me as I walked on. I heard their foot steps walk in the opposite direction and pay for their things. I reached the back, grabbed a coke and slammed the door shut. Why was I so upset?
I received cold looks from both of them as I walked on to the bus, so I passed them both and went to my bunk. I still was confused why I was feeling so mad.
"Aw is Brendon on his PMS?" Jon whispered as he stuck his head into my bunk.
"Yes Jon, go fetch me Midol."
"What's that?"
I rolled my eyes, "Nothing."
"Seriously man, what's wrong? You invited Callie onto the bus now, all of a sudden, you're giving her cold looks and you don't even talk to her."
"I haven't talked to her for like a morning, my bad."
"You only have her till Friday and its Tuesday."
"Your point."
"No time for regret."
"Are you implying something?"
"Oh please Brendon we all have seen how you look at her." I kept quiet, "Don't kid yourself dude."
And what was I suppose to say. 'I love you like no other.' Or 'You make me feel incredibly jealous when your with someone else but when your with me it's like I'm walking on air.' I could never say any of that. She would never feel that way back.
♠ ♠ ♠
why anyone likes this story is beyond me.
I love Brendon's little temper tantrums.