Status: completed! ^_^
Don't Waste Your Time on Me.
Part 5. Being happy.
After a quick break to get a glass of water, Alex could pick up where he left off. He wasn't even sure who he was talking to anymore, but that didn't bother him.
"After I found that you felt the same, I was so happy. I didn't care what anyone else said about my sexuality. I didn't care that I wasn't normal because I had you and that was all I needed to keep my heart beating and my mind sane. I had always let my thoughts overtake me, usually negatively, but whenever I was with you, I felt peaceful. It felt right. You understood me." Alex then did the thing he does frequently, stare at the ground and smile weirdly. Jack had always loved that he did that. His goofy smile was adorable. "Hey, Barakat, remember that time you tried cooking me dinner but ended up exploding the microwave? My Mom looked like she was gonna hit you so fucking hard. We just went to taco bell, in the end. That was your favourite place to take me, even though I hate it. You could eat like, fucking, 10 burritos each time man. You were so fat. I don't know if you're still like that now though. Are you? There's so much I need to ask you. We haven't spoken in 3 months. 3 fucking months. Before that, we hadn't spent 3 days without seeing each other, Jack. Why are you doing this? Anyway, back to how we were. The 2 years we spent together were undoubtedly the best years of my life. I loved every single bit. Everything from the little arguments about what movie to watch, to the pillow fights, to that time you made me breakfast in bed on my birthday, to the time we got kicked out of starbucks for dancing on the tables to blink-182. Oh god, remember that time we saw blink live and you kissed me during I miss you? I remember that so vividly. Just as the line 'we can live like Jack and Sally if we want' was sung, you gently wrapped your arms around my neck and kissed me for a good 20 seconds before some dick threw a cup at us. So we both gave him the finger and sang along to the rest of the concert way too loudly, just to piss him off. We publicly made out a bit too much that night. Oh well. I remember the affection you showed me that year, whether it was just a hug and a kiss on the forehead or it was one of the nights in which you planted kisses along my collarbones, leaving my skin tingling for hours. Fuck, I miss that. I miss you. All I want right now is to kiss you until my lips are numb, to dig my nails into the bare skin of your back, for you to tell me everything will be okay. WHY CAN'T I JUST FUCKING TELL YOU?! Jesus Christ, Jack. Why can't you be here." Alex decided to stop talking for a bit, he'd only burst into tears and not be able to talk for a half an hour if he continued. In the time he'd stopped, he got up and grabbed his phone from the side. "That's so painful..." Alex mumbled. "The last time you texted me was the day we broke up. 'We need to talk.' I knew that wouldn't be good. Shit. Why did you have to do that? Look how happy we were-" Alex took a moment to scroll towards some older messages then proceeded to read them aloud.
"'Jack- i love you so much, baby. I can't wait to see you tomorrow x'
'Alex- I love you too but it's 4 in the morning. Get the fuck to sleep. x' Ha, you always used to text me at the weirdest of times. 'Jack- i know, but i couldn't sleep. I've been awake, wishing i was holding you in my arms. Why wouldn't your mom let you stay over? I've always hated the French.'
'Alex- ugh, you fucking cheeseball. I'm sneaking out, be there in 10 minutes. Only if you stop calling my family French.' I remember that. I left at 4:15am just to cuddle you for a couple hours. My Mom was super pissed.
'Jack- bonjour mes petit croissant.' You were such an idiot." Alex laughed, trying to remember the feeling he was filled with when Jack and his bodies were touching. He couldn't. Not properly, anyway.
"After I found that you felt the same, I was so happy. I didn't care what anyone else said about my sexuality. I didn't care that I wasn't normal because I had you and that was all I needed to keep my heart beating and my mind sane. I had always let my thoughts overtake me, usually negatively, but whenever I was with you, I felt peaceful. It felt right. You understood me." Alex then did the thing he does frequently, stare at the ground and smile weirdly. Jack had always loved that he did that. His goofy smile was adorable. "Hey, Barakat, remember that time you tried cooking me dinner but ended up exploding the microwave? My Mom looked like she was gonna hit you so fucking hard. We just went to taco bell, in the end. That was your favourite place to take me, even though I hate it. You could eat like, fucking, 10 burritos each time man. You were so fat. I don't know if you're still like that now though. Are you? There's so much I need to ask you. We haven't spoken in 3 months. 3 fucking months. Before that, we hadn't spent 3 days without seeing each other, Jack. Why are you doing this? Anyway, back to how we were. The 2 years we spent together were undoubtedly the best years of my life. I loved every single bit. Everything from the little arguments about what movie to watch, to the pillow fights, to that time you made me breakfast in bed on my birthday, to the time we got kicked out of starbucks for dancing on the tables to blink-182. Oh god, remember that time we saw blink live and you kissed me during I miss you? I remember that so vividly. Just as the line 'we can live like Jack and Sally if we want' was sung, you gently wrapped your arms around my neck and kissed me for a good 20 seconds before some dick threw a cup at us. So we both gave him the finger and sang along to the rest of the concert way too loudly, just to piss him off. We publicly made out a bit too much that night. Oh well. I remember the affection you showed me that year, whether it was just a hug and a kiss on the forehead or it was one of the nights in which you planted kisses along my collarbones, leaving my skin tingling for hours. Fuck, I miss that. I miss you. All I want right now is to kiss you until my lips are numb, to dig my nails into the bare skin of your back, for you to tell me everything will be okay. WHY CAN'T I JUST FUCKING TELL YOU?! Jesus Christ, Jack. Why can't you be here." Alex decided to stop talking for a bit, he'd only burst into tears and not be able to talk for a half an hour if he continued. In the time he'd stopped, he got up and grabbed his phone from the side. "That's so painful..." Alex mumbled. "The last time you texted me was the day we broke up. 'We need to talk.' I knew that wouldn't be good. Shit. Why did you have to do that? Look how happy we were-" Alex took a moment to scroll towards some older messages then proceeded to read them aloud.
"'Jack- i love you so much, baby. I can't wait to see you tomorrow x'
'Alex- I love you too but it's 4 in the morning. Get the fuck to sleep. x' Ha, you always used to text me at the weirdest of times. 'Jack- i know, but i couldn't sleep. I've been awake, wishing i was holding you in my arms. Why wouldn't your mom let you stay over? I've always hated the French.'
'Alex- ugh, you fucking cheeseball. I'm sneaking out, be there in 10 minutes. Only if you stop calling my family French.' I remember that. I left at 4:15am just to cuddle you for a couple hours. My Mom was super pissed.
'Jack- bonjour mes petit croissant.' You were such an idiot." Alex laughed, trying to remember the feeling he was filled with when Jack and his bodies were touching. He couldn't. Not properly, anyway.