Status: I know that im bad at summeries but please give this story a shot! It may seem a little confusing in the begining but if anyone has any questions whatsoever feel free to ask away! Enjoy the story!
A Song of Change
Inner Turmoil
Chapter 45
Inner Turmoil:
We spent the rest of the weekend doing nothing. We had tended to the garden, and done other things just to keep busy, but I was out of it for most of the time. I had been so distracted with what Julian had said. It kept replaying itself through my mind on a loop, "…There is something I have to show you, but you'll just have to wait. I can't tell you much now, just… be patient." What did he mean by all if that? Urg! It was driving me crazy. I shook my head clear of those thoughts and let out an exasperated sigh just as Nole had pulled into a parking spot.
"What's got you so tense, love?" He said turning to face me, the corner of his lip up turned as he waited expectantly. "Its nothing," I sighed before turning to let myself out of the car. "Hey," Nole said softly as he placed a hand on my shoulder, "All of that sighing isn't nothing and that sad face is definitely not nothing… Look I won't force you to tell me, everyone has their own little secrets, but know that you can always come to me. I'm great with advice and not to mention fashion advice!" He laughed trying to lighten the mood. "So cheer up, doll. No sad faces at work, okay?" He smiled as he nudged my chin up with the tips of his fingers.
I nodded my head, smiling lightly. Nole was right. I couldn't let anything outside of work effect me at the moment, there just wasn't time to be feeling nervous over something. The two of us made it through the front doors before walking towards our office. "So, who's ready to do some real work today?" Nole asked cheerily after shutting the office door behind him, clapping his hands for effect. I nodded my head excitedly, this time my smile was a genuine one. This would be my first patient, ever! "Well, then drop your stuff off here and lets go," Nole said as he stepped out of his jacket.
I nodded my head before walking over to my desk. I had brought a box of this to unpack today, but I guess it would have to wait for later. Nole was just walking out of the office when I shut the closet door and I quickly scurried after him. We walked down the opposite end of the hallway until we reached a wide and round hallway with windows outlining the curved walls like an outstretched dome. "This is a short cut to the patients' building," Nole supplied as we walked down it, the clicks of our shoes echoing of the walls.
The hallway led out to an open and brightly lit circular shaped room. It had a dome shaped ceiling and a large, round lighting above. Wooden doors lined the perimeter of the room, some of which held signs above. "Okay," Nole said as he rubbed his hands together and walked to the center of the room before turning to face me, "those three doors lead to separate supply rooms; one with liquid medicines, one with tools, and another with dry medicines and rubs. That door leads to the files and other paperwork for each employee and patients. That one goes to where we hold meetings and the last three lead to all of the patients' rooms," Nole finished, pointing to each of the rooms in turn.
Nole headed toward the patient's doors before opening the one on the left, turning around just to see me following behind him. "So, today we'll start out slow, we only have one patient for today and then we can head back to the office so you can unpack," Nole said as he walked down a wide hallway. This hallway was brightly lit, with wooden doors lining the walls every few feet. The floor was a cream tiling and the walls resembled a coffee brown with dark wooden paneling at the base. All of these doors were numbered as well, but they also had a small tray hanging to the side of them with a file waiting inside.
We stopped at door number 26, near the end of the hall, and Nole plucked the file out of its holder before handing it to me. I was looking through the file when Nole opened the door. The name on the file sounded so familiar, I just couldn't place where until I looked up at the patient. "Hello Mrs. Rosenfeld," the dark haired boy said with an 'oh so innocent' expression on his face, "Its so nice to see you again." "Hello Camden," I said trying to stay professional in the midsts of this confusing boy, "What brings you in today?" "Well I'm sick of course," he said matter of factly before faking a cough. I turned around to Nole for guidance but was meet with empty space. 'Nole!' I scolded him mentally before turning back to Camden with a composed face.
"Take in deep breaths for me now," I said as I walked up behind Camden and held the end of the stethoscope to his back and then his chest to check his breathing. Everything seemed to be fine there so I had him open his mouth to check his throat and after that I had him lie down to check his stomach. "Does it hurt when I put pressure here?" I asked each time I pressed on a different section of his stomach. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary there so I took his measurements, weight, tested his reflexes, and then I checked his heart rate. That was where I noticed something odd. His heart rate was extremely fast yet he showed no signs of discomfort, nervousness, or anything of the sort.
"What?" He asked straightening his back when he noticed me staring. "Well," I started, trying to figure out this oddity, "Your heart is racing like you just ran a mile. You should be breathing heavily, sweating maybe, or at least show some signs for this, but you don't." I shifted to my other foot as I studied the boy. I placed a hand on his forehead but it wasn't even remotely warm and then I shifted my hands to the glands just behind his ears but they were perfectly normal, no signs of swelling. "Hmmm," I said thinking again, "What exactly brought you in today, and no sarcastic comments this time." "Oops, you caught me!" He said smiling as he raised his hands in surrender, "Now I really should be going." Camden jumped off the patient bed, heading toward the door. "Hey," I called, "What do you think you're doing?" I stepped closer in his direction, meaning to stop him, but stopped dead in my tracks when he spoke.
"You just need to lay low, you got that," Camden said as he stepped closer, "Julian will tell you soon, but for now you can't tell anyone, anything about all of this. It'd ruin everything if you did. Now just keep quiet and we'll get you out soon, just trust us on this. The boss happens to favor you," he whispered to me before he quickly left the room.
I had been standing in that patient room for nearly an hour before I had composed myself enough to head back to the office. I stared down at the floor as I made my way, I didn't think I'd be able to take it if I met someone's eyes. I'd probably crack right then and there. Even though I knew this wasn't true, it felt like every pair of eyes in this building were trained on me. I felt so weak, confused, and useless. What did Camden mean by all of that? Did he mean that people were coming to take us away and who is 'the boss'? The worst part of all of this is the fact that I know Julian knows about all of this. There is certainly no denying all of this now.
I had just about made it to my office when I ran into someone, causing me to fall to the floor. At least I would have if that person hadn't caught me. "Hey, Annabell! Fancy running into you like this," Gerad said as he lifted me back up. I had to step out of his arms just to get out of his grip. "Hi, and thank you for not letting me fall," I said before walking back towards my office. It was just in sight, three doors down. Gerad caught my arm before I could get too far, a bright and I'm guessing what he assumed was a 'seductive' smile in place.
"Where are you going in such a hurry, Annabell? Don't you want to talk with me, Damon isn't here today so if you want a more… private place ," he whispered in my ear. Gerad's right hand was clamped tightly on my left forearm and the other was slowly trailing up my arm and across my chest before sinking lower. "Ger…" I started to say before he cut me off. "Come on Annabell, what do you say?" He whispered as he drew me even closer to his room. "No." I said shaking my head and trying to pull away from him. "No? I think I can change that," he said as he pressed me against the door to his office with his body. I could feel his disgusting growth rubbing against my thigh as he clicked the combination of his room number in.
"No!" I yelled louder this time as I continued to squirm from him. I could see large groups of people just walking passed us as if nothing was happening. Why weren't they doing anything? "Now, now Annabell," Gerad said as he opened the door and I fell in onto the floor. He shut and locked the door behind him before stepping closer to me so that he hovered over my body, "That's no way to treat me. I'm just trying to make you feel better," he whispered as he lowered his body onto mine, pinning me to the floor, "I promise you you'll be enjoying this long before its through. You'll love it," he said as he lifted the bottom of my dress up to my stomach.
"No!" I yelled squirming underneath him. I raised my hand to hit at him but he noticed and pinned my hands above my head. "Annabell, I thought I told you this would be fun. If you're a good girl I'll make this as painless as possible but… if you want to keep making this hard on yourself I'll just have my way with you," Gerad said looking down at me. His grip on my wrists tightened painfully and I closed my eyes to keep the tears at bay. "That's more like it," he said as he reached for the zipper on his pants. I turned my head away from him, not wanting to witness any of this. Julian. I wanted him right now, but that would be impossible. I wanted him to come and save me from this monster.
"Don't be like that Annabell," Gerad said as he ripped my only covering off, "I'll be gentle, I swear. Just… just don't be like this." I kept my head turned from him, keeping my eyes shut tight with memories of Julian filling my mind. This is not Gerad, I told myself. I will always be with Julian and only Julian. I told myself all of this as I blocked out all of my surroundings and remembered the very first time I met Julian. My lovely boy with a voice to match. I didn't hear anything Gerad said or did, all I heard was the first song Julian had ever sang to me and all the others from that point on. Every kiss and every touch on my skin was done by him and there was no one who could tell me otherwise.
The tears that had been streaming down my face eventually stopped as well as his assaults on me and soon I was left alone and naked on his office floor. I sat up and quickly pulled my dress back on, and tried to brush the filth of his touch off of my body. Numbly I made my way to the door and unlocked it before quickly making my way to my office. I curled up on the couch feeling completely violated and humiliated. I wanted to stay here for the rest of my life. How could I go home and face Julian after this. He would hate me. I hated myself at the moment. I should have fought back more. I should have taken his beatings if it would have left me with even the slightest chance of escape. I should have yelled and screamed until my throat was raw.
Tears formed in my eyes but my body was too tired and hurt to do anything about their fall. Soon I had fallen asleep on the couch with guilty tears streaming down my face and my body yelling out in pain. Gerad had hurt me, yes, but that wasn't the cause of my pain and tears. What hurt the most was the fact that I hadn't been able to keep my promise to Julian. I had betrayed him.
Inner Turmoil:
We spent the rest of the weekend doing nothing. We had tended to the garden, and done other things just to keep busy, but I was out of it for most of the time. I had been so distracted with what Julian had said. It kept replaying itself through my mind on a loop, "…There is something I have to show you, but you'll just have to wait. I can't tell you much now, just… be patient." What did he mean by all if that? Urg! It was driving me crazy. I shook my head clear of those thoughts and let out an exasperated sigh just as Nole had pulled into a parking spot.
"What's got you so tense, love?" He said turning to face me, the corner of his lip up turned as he waited expectantly. "Its nothing," I sighed before turning to let myself out of the car. "Hey," Nole said softly as he placed a hand on my shoulder, "All of that sighing isn't nothing and that sad face is definitely not nothing… Look I won't force you to tell me, everyone has their own little secrets, but know that you can always come to me. I'm great with advice and not to mention fashion advice!" He laughed trying to lighten the mood. "So cheer up, doll. No sad faces at work, okay?" He smiled as he nudged my chin up with the tips of his fingers.
I nodded my head, smiling lightly. Nole was right. I couldn't let anything outside of work effect me at the moment, there just wasn't time to be feeling nervous over something. The two of us made it through the front doors before walking towards our office. "So, who's ready to do some real work today?" Nole asked cheerily after shutting the office door behind him, clapping his hands for effect. I nodded my head excitedly, this time my smile was a genuine one. This would be my first patient, ever! "Well, then drop your stuff off here and lets go," Nole said as he stepped out of his jacket.
I nodded my head before walking over to my desk. I had brought a box of this to unpack today, but I guess it would have to wait for later. Nole was just walking out of the office when I shut the closet door and I quickly scurried after him. We walked down the opposite end of the hallway until we reached a wide and round hallway with windows outlining the curved walls like an outstretched dome. "This is a short cut to the patients' building," Nole supplied as we walked down it, the clicks of our shoes echoing of the walls.
The hallway led out to an open and brightly lit circular shaped room. It had a dome shaped ceiling and a large, round lighting above. Wooden doors lined the perimeter of the room, some of which held signs above. "Okay," Nole said as he rubbed his hands together and walked to the center of the room before turning to face me, "those three doors lead to separate supply rooms; one with liquid medicines, one with tools, and another with dry medicines and rubs. That door leads to the files and other paperwork for each employee and patients. That one goes to where we hold meetings and the last three lead to all of the patients' rooms," Nole finished, pointing to each of the rooms in turn.
Nole headed toward the patient's doors before opening the one on the left, turning around just to see me following behind him. "So, today we'll start out slow, we only have one patient for today and then we can head back to the office so you can unpack," Nole said as he walked down a wide hallway. This hallway was brightly lit, with wooden doors lining the walls every few feet. The floor was a cream tiling and the walls resembled a coffee brown with dark wooden paneling at the base. All of these doors were numbered as well, but they also had a small tray hanging to the side of them with a file waiting inside.
We stopped at door number 26, near the end of the hall, and Nole plucked the file out of its holder before handing it to me. I was looking through the file when Nole opened the door. The name on the file sounded so familiar, I just couldn't place where until I looked up at the patient. "Hello Mrs. Rosenfeld," the dark haired boy said with an 'oh so innocent' expression on his face, "Its so nice to see you again." "Hello Camden," I said trying to stay professional in the midsts of this confusing boy, "What brings you in today?" "Well I'm sick of course," he said matter of factly before faking a cough. I turned around to Nole for guidance but was meet with empty space. 'Nole!' I scolded him mentally before turning back to Camden with a composed face.
"Take in deep breaths for me now," I said as I walked up behind Camden and held the end of the stethoscope to his back and then his chest to check his breathing. Everything seemed to be fine there so I had him open his mouth to check his throat and after that I had him lie down to check his stomach. "Does it hurt when I put pressure here?" I asked each time I pressed on a different section of his stomach. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary there so I took his measurements, weight, tested his reflexes, and then I checked his heart rate. That was where I noticed something odd. His heart rate was extremely fast yet he showed no signs of discomfort, nervousness, or anything of the sort.
"What?" He asked straightening his back when he noticed me staring. "Well," I started, trying to figure out this oddity, "Your heart is racing like you just ran a mile. You should be breathing heavily, sweating maybe, or at least show some signs for this, but you don't." I shifted to my other foot as I studied the boy. I placed a hand on his forehead but it wasn't even remotely warm and then I shifted my hands to the glands just behind his ears but they were perfectly normal, no signs of swelling. "Hmmm," I said thinking again, "What exactly brought you in today, and no sarcastic comments this time." "Oops, you caught me!" He said smiling as he raised his hands in surrender, "Now I really should be going." Camden jumped off the patient bed, heading toward the door. "Hey," I called, "What do you think you're doing?" I stepped closer in his direction, meaning to stop him, but stopped dead in my tracks when he spoke.
"You just need to lay low, you got that," Camden said as he stepped closer, "Julian will tell you soon, but for now you can't tell anyone, anything about all of this. It'd ruin everything if you did. Now just keep quiet and we'll get you out soon, just trust us on this. The boss happens to favor you," he whispered to me before he quickly left the room.
I had been standing in that patient room for nearly an hour before I had composed myself enough to head back to the office. I stared down at the floor as I made my way, I didn't think I'd be able to take it if I met someone's eyes. I'd probably crack right then and there. Even though I knew this wasn't true, it felt like every pair of eyes in this building were trained on me. I felt so weak, confused, and useless. What did Camden mean by all of that? Did he mean that people were coming to take us away and who is 'the boss'? The worst part of all of this is the fact that I know Julian knows about all of this. There is certainly no denying all of this now.
I had just about made it to my office when I ran into someone, causing me to fall to the floor. At least I would have if that person hadn't caught me. "Hey, Annabell! Fancy running into you like this," Gerad said as he lifted me back up. I had to step out of his arms just to get out of his grip. "Hi, and thank you for not letting me fall," I said before walking back towards my office. It was just in sight, three doors down. Gerad caught my arm before I could get too far, a bright and I'm guessing what he assumed was a 'seductive' smile in place.
"Where are you going in such a hurry, Annabell? Don't you want to talk with me, Damon isn't here today so if you want a more… private place ," he whispered in my ear. Gerad's right hand was clamped tightly on my left forearm and the other was slowly trailing up my arm and across my chest before sinking lower. "Ger…" I started to say before he cut me off. "Come on Annabell, what do you say?" He whispered as he drew me even closer to his room. "No." I said shaking my head and trying to pull away from him. "No? I think I can change that," he said as he pressed me against the door to his office with his body. I could feel his disgusting growth rubbing against my thigh as he clicked the combination of his room number in.
"No!" I yelled louder this time as I continued to squirm from him. I could see large groups of people just walking passed us as if nothing was happening. Why weren't they doing anything? "Now, now Annabell," Gerad said as he opened the door and I fell in onto the floor. He shut and locked the door behind him before stepping closer to me so that he hovered over my body, "That's no way to treat me. I'm just trying to make you feel better," he whispered as he lowered his body onto mine, pinning me to the floor, "I promise you you'll be enjoying this long before its through. You'll love it," he said as he lifted the bottom of my dress up to my stomach.
"No!" I yelled squirming underneath him. I raised my hand to hit at him but he noticed and pinned my hands above my head. "Annabell, I thought I told you this would be fun. If you're a good girl I'll make this as painless as possible but… if you want to keep making this hard on yourself I'll just have my way with you," Gerad said looking down at me. His grip on my wrists tightened painfully and I closed my eyes to keep the tears at bay. "That's more like it," he said as he reached for the zipper on his pants. I turned my head away from him, not wanting to witness any of this. Julian. I wanted him right now, but that would be impossible. I wanted him to come and save me from this monster.
"Don't be like that Annabell," Gerad said as he ripped my only covering off, "I'll be gentle, I swear. Just… just don't be like this." I kept my head turned from him, keeping my eyes shut tight with memories of Julian filling my mind. This is not Gerad, I told myself. I will always be with Julian and only Julian. I told myself all of this as I blocked out all of my surroundings and remembered the very first time I met Julian. My lovely boy with a voice to match. I didn't hear anything Gerad said or did, all I heard was the first song Julian had ever sang to me and all the others from that point on. Every kiss and every touch on my skin was done by him and there was no one who could tell me otherwise.
The tears that had been streaming down my face eventually stopped as well as his assaults on me and soon I was left alone and naked on his office floor. I sat up and quickly pulled my dress back on, and tried to brush the filth of his touch off of my body. Numbly I made my way to the door and unlocked it before quickly making my way to my office. I curled up on the couch feeling completely violated and humiliated. I wanted to stay here for the rest of my life. How could I go home and face Julian after this. He would hate me. I hated myself at the moment. I should have fought back more. I should have taken his beatings if it would have left me with even the slightest chance of escape. I should have yelled and screamed until my throat was raw.
Tears formed in my eyes but my body was too tired and hurt to do anything about their fall. Soon I had fallen asleep on the couch with guilty tears streaming down my face and my body yelling out in pain. Gerad had hurt me, yes, but that wasn't the cause of my pain and tears. What hurt the most was the fact that I hadn't been able to keep my promise to Julian. I had betrayed him.