Miserably Loving You.

My hands were sweating as I stared at the blank wall in Gage's house. Today was finally the day that I was going to get help for this insomnia bullshit I've been dealing with... And I'm not sure I'm ready to let it go.

I mean, at least with this I had a reason to be a total prick, at least everyone could see how tired I was, and it gave me an excuse not to do anything but lay in bed.

But now, now if this actually works then I'll have more energy, I'll be normal... I'll be normal without any friends. I didn't need friends while I was absorbed in my own misery, but now... I won't have an excuse.

"I- I uh... I think I'm-" I stuttered gaining Gage's attention. "I don't want you dad to have to rush through his work... I think I'll just come back when he's completely free."

"Wait no-" Gage said before reaching out and grabbing my arm. I could tell he was rethinking that move -it's not like I minded, but I think he just surprised himself- but he held strong. "He's not too busy, he's going to be honored that you came to him. I promise he'll be done soon."

"Yeah, sit your ass back down." Violet chimed in.

"What she's trying to say is-" he paused again and shot Vi a nasty look. "Is that you need this Leighton. Not sleeping isn't healthy and crashing with me every few days isn't much better..."

"If you didn't want to share your bed all you had to do was say so." I said playfully but Gage definitely didn't take it that way.

"No no! You can always use it, I- I- I just- I-"

"I'm just kidding Gage." I laughed, interrupting him before he busted a gasket but before I could say anything else Gage's dad came out from his "home office" and smiled at me.

"You ready?"

"Dad you're making it sound like he's having surgery!" Gage groaned, and I couldn't help but laugh. He made me feel like some fragile sensitive thing sometimes. As if I were some sort of fine china that a grandmother buys and never touches for whatever reason she may have.

"Yeah I'm ready." I laughed again before getting up and pushing Gage over playfully before leaving the room. I just barely got a glance at him after I did that and his face was bright red and I could hear my sisters laughter up until we closed the door. "Oh wow... This is uh... Pretty sound proof, eh?"

"Yeah of course." He chuckled. "I don't like to cancel my appointments since a wide variety of my patients have abandonment issues, so... I just kind of made sure this room was as private as can be! So anyways, what can I help you with?"

"I uh... I can't sleep. Like ever. I am always awake. I think I've been awake for almost nine days before."

"So you only sleep when your body is too physically exhausted to continue?"

"Yeah, well that or whenever Gage sleeps by me. That sounds weird... But he ended up crashing in my bed once since Violet snores and he was scared, and that was the first night I ever slept peacefully. I almost cried from sheer joy that day."

"So sleeping by someone helps?"

"I think so, I mean this started happening a while ago and I used to have friends who's houses I'd stay at, and I wouldn't be able to sleep there or vice versa. So I don't know, maybe it's just Gage?"

His dad nodded and wrote some things down.

"I'm going to send you over to the psychiatrist at my office and have him give you some medication. I'd like to keep talking to you though, but I'd really like for you to try whatever he gives you for a few days. Then we'll talk again okay? Even if they're perfect for you." He chuckled that hearty suburban white dad chuckle.

"Alright, so is that it?" I asked, wringing my hands together.

"For now yes! I don't want to pry in to too much of you so soon. Don't wanna scare you away!" He laughed again before getting up. I stood up along with him and he put his arm around my shoulder in more of a fatherly way than a professional one. "I'm glad you finally came and talked to me, you, your sister, and your mother are very much apart of our family."

"Thank you, sir." I said sincerely. Even though I was okay with my little broken family, it was nice to know that I was welcome elsewhere.

When I joined the other two in the living room again, they expressed their surprise as to how quickly that went.

"So what now?" Gage asked, eyeing his father as if he did something wrong.

"Now nothing." I laughed. "Tomorrow I'm going to see the medicine lady at your dads office after school."

"Why not today?" Gage asked, the question more pointed towards his father than myself.

"Because the office is closed and Diana doesn't have a home office like I do."

"So why can't you write him a prescription? He kinda needs this now Dad."

His dad sighed and was about to say something but I opened my mouth quicker.

"Gage I'm okay, I promise. One more day won't kill me, your Dads just doing his job." I said before pulling the small boy into a one armed hug.

"Don't you have any like... Trial samples in your office though Dad?"

"I don't and even if I did I have no idea what dosage Leighton would need." His Dad smiled. "Why don't you just sleep over at their house again?" His dad winked and both mine and Gage's faces turned about forty different shades of red.

"Dad!" Gage screeched and though I didn't mind him mentioning something we had talked about, I could tell that Gage might have not wanted him to speak about it... Did he talk to his parents about us sharing a bed?

Why? I mean that didn't bother me if he did, but why? Did he think it was weird or something?

"What?" His Dad managed to say through his hearty laughter.

Gage sighed and turned to me.

"I'm so sorry about him. He's so embarrassing."

"Why?" I questioned, playing dumb. "Were you listening in to my session?"

"No! I promise I didn't! I just-"

"Ohhh so you've talked to your parents about us sharing a bed too?" I chuckled. "Why?"

"Leighton leave him alone, don't flatter yourself; he probably just told his parents that you fart an abnormal amount in your sleep or something."

I glanced over at my sister and busted out laughing. I don't think I've laughed that hard in a very long time.

"Is that true Gage? Do I really?" I managed to gasp out in between fits of laughter.

"No! You don't and that's not what I told them Violet!" He said angrily, but there was definitely an undertone of playfulness.

"Oh yeah of course not. But enough about Leighton, I'm hungry and someone should feed me." Violet said before grasping her stomach.

"You kids can take my card if you pick up Chinese food. Papa bear needs to fill his pouch too."

I looked at Gage who looked as if he were about to just off himself after his Dad's last comment.

"Sounds good to me." Violet said, answering for all of us. "Just text Leighton your orders." She took the credit card from Mr. Callaghan and lead the way out.

"I am so sorry. My dad shouldn't have said anything." Gage said so quietly that I almost missed it.

"It's fine." I said as reassuringly as I could. "Really Gage, I promise, but seriously stay over tonight though, because I didn't sleep very well in your bed by myself."

"Oh really? I'm sorry..."

"It's fine." I laughed again. "I don't know what it is about you that just helps me, but there is something though."

Gage nodded and smiled before climbing into the back seat of my car with Violet, and I'll be damned if I'm wrong, but I don't think that smile left his face for the rest of the night.