Miserably Loving You.

I knew Gage was playing with my hair during the movie, it woke me up after a bit but I didn't bother making a scene but rather I just stayed there and enjoyed it until my ever tired mind drifted off to sleep again.

I don't know what time they woke me up, but I just vaguely remember being escorted by Gage and him telling me that I probably shouldn't take my medicine again.

For a moment I remember thinking that I should listen to him, but the drug lady did say that this might take a few nights to actually start working right.

The next morning I was even groggier than before though, and everyone around me could tell. Though I was "awake" I didn't feel rested, nor did even feel completely conscious. I knew it was probably a bad idea for me to drive, but I knew Violet did not want to walk to school in the rain and she put on a pretty big pout when Gage even motioned the idea.

I smiled into my rear view mirror at the small boy behind me. I knew he was keeping a vigilant eye on me, but I felt a little bit better now that my second and part of my third cup of coffee (I was still working on this one) were kicking in.

Just knowing that someone other than a doctor actually cared about the struggle I was going through made the effort to getting better kinda worth it.

I just wish I knew how to express how sick of being tired I was.

When we got to school I managed to walk through the bustling hallways with my cup of coffee successfully. Which may not seem like such a big feat seeing as my cup had a lid on it, but with the assholes I attended school with it was actually a pretty major thing.

But before I reached the sanctity of my classroom I could hear my name being shouted from behind me. For a moment I thought about ignoring it, but instead I turned and smiled at the familiar face.

"Hey man, you're so hard to find nowadays." He laughed and I shrugged in response to my old friend.

I still the felt the need to label Darren as a friend due to the fact that he was one of the only people who gave a shit about my problems back when they started. I don't blame him for moving on and leaving me behind to figure myself out. He had to do his own thing, and I was really glad he did.

"I promise I'm not trying to hide." I laughed. "But I'm sure you didn't seek me out just for small talk right before the bell, so what's up?"

"Well my parents are going to be out of town on Halloween and I wanted to see if you wanted to come to the party? I know it's not really your crowd anymore but I miss having you around." I mulled over it for a few seconds, and though it didn't really seem that appealing I shrugged again.

"Yeah that's fine, do you mind if I bring a friend or two? They'll kill me if I don't at least ask." I chuckled before taking a sip from my cup.

"Yeah man of course, you know there's plenty of room." The warning bell that singled that there were two minutes before class rang and he sighed, clearly more irritated at a noise than one should be. "But hey, I gotta get going. I'll see you around?"

I nodded and he patted my shoulder as he left. I wasn't really sure what I agreed too, but I didn't really care right now.

By the time lunch rolled around I was hardly able to keep my eyes open. The coffee didn't last me anywhere near as long as I hoped it would but I guess that was just wishful thinking on my part.

Violet and Gage soon joined me at the table and both greeted me with smiles. I was half tempted to tell them about the party then, but I wasn't sure I was physically or mentally capable of handling Violets reaction to the thought of a "senior party" and "being invited" to one.

"Leighton, are you hungry? The uh, food might give you a little more energy?" I looked up at the boy who's worried look never seemed to fade around me and smiled.

"Yeah, I'll go with you guys though." I said through a grunt as I got up.

"I could have brought you food back..."

"Then who would have carried your tray?" I asked and received a blush and a shrug from him. "Exactly."

"Well while we're talking about carrying trays, one of you strapping young men should carry mine! I am a lady after all." Gage and I shared a brief glance before laughing at my sister. If anything I was more deserving of the "lady" title than she was.

"Violet, be real, the most 'lady like' thing about you is the way you dress. Other than that... Eh, it's debatable!" Gage laughed, and I held up my hand for a high-five. A burn like that needed some praise.

"Oh shut up." She laughed and grabbed her tray. "You guys are just jealous."

"Of what?" I asked as I handed Gage a tray and started to move down the line.

"Of me!"

Gage and I both scoffed and continued on our way.

Lunch was pretty quiet like usual, both Gage and I sat through Violet's story and contributed where she wanted us too. I loved my sister but holy crap she talked a lot. Who knew that so much could happen in the few short hours between the car ride here and walking into the lunch room.

When we parted ways I could see the worried look in Gage's eyes as he waved goodbye. I felt bad for not reassuring him again that I was fine, because I really didn't want him to worry about me all day.

So with that thought I quickly pulled out my phone and shot him a quick text.

Hey, I'm okay. No worrying alright?

I stared down at the screen for a few seconds before sending it. Not because I was having second thoughts or anything, but more because of how weird it felt to do something like that. I had never before cared if someone was worried about me, I was always too self absorbed and too tired to give a shit. But here I am, twice as tired as before and making an effort to give my snotty little sisters best friend peace of mind.

I smiled to myself at the feeling it gave me. I don't know whether it was the thought of someone actually caring about me who wasn't obligated too, or if it was just the thought of Gage himself... It could have even been a mixture of the two, but I could feel myself getting dizzy from over thinking.

This whole school thing was really starting to wear on me though. I desperately needed a break for more than two days. I needed to just sleep through this medication... Maybe I should stop taking it until Thanksgiving... I don't know. I really needed to go talk to the drug lady again.

I completely passed out my last few classes though, which meant I missed entire lessons. Apparently one of my teachers tried talking to me and apparently I was coherent during it, but I really don't remember any of that.

All I was looking forward to was seeing that short brown haired boy and my sister standing by my car and as soon as I saw his bright and shining face and saw my sisters... Well she looked pretty annoyed as usual, but I digress, as soon as I saw their faces I felt a mound of stress lifted off my shoulders.

"Leighton, you have no idea how shitty my day was, can we hurry up and go?" I looked to Gage for some clarity for my sisters painfully vague statement but he just gave me an exasperated shake of his fluffy haired head.

"Uh, yeah. I wasn't planning on staying here...?" I said as I unlocked the doors for everyone, and unlike yesterday Gage actually sat in the back with Violet this time.

As I backed out of my spot Violet let out an overly exaggerated sigh, signaling that she wanted me to ask her what was wrong, but I just ignored it. As her older brother it was my duty to blatantly piss her off from time to time, and right now it was the only thing keeping me awake.

So when she'd try to speak I'd turn up the music and right when she'd stop speaking I'd turn it back down. I could see that Gage was having trouble keeping a straight and understanding face through it all, but he was a trooper. I didn't blame him for not laughing, I could see by the smile on his face that he really wanted too, but as her best friend he also had a duty to grin and bare it through her mundane trivial problems.

When we got home she didn't say a single word, but instead stormed up to her room; completely leaving Gage and I behind.

"Whoops." I said which weirdly must have been the final straw on the camels back because Gage just busted out laughing, and I really don't think I've ever seen him laugh like that before. This was one of those pure belly laughs, and his was too adorable for words.

"She... She just- and you! I can't, I can't breathe!" He gasped incoherently between laughs. "Oh God... She's so mad!"

"Yeah she is." I smirked. "Sorry about that though, she's probably gonna be a total ass all night."

"Oh..." The sudden realization of how my sister is when she's upset finally weighed on him and he sighed heavily. "Yeah... I should probably go talk to her."

"Or don't. You could just chill with me." I said, too quick for my mind to really process. "I uh, need to stay awake until later tonight..."

Gage stared at me blankly for a second before nodding and following me inside. I don't know why this request seemed so weird for us both. I mean I practically ask him to cuddle with me when I can't sleep so I can use him as some sort of safety blanket... But hanging out seemed off colored?

Instead of dwelling on that though, I decided that I would make this feel as normal as if my sister were here with us. She was bound to join us when she was done huffing and puffing, so there was really no reason for this to be such an odd situation for Gage and I.

"Anything you'd like to do specifically? Hungry? Thirsty?" I paused from pouring myself more coffee and laughed. "Why am I asking, you practically live here. You know it's all open for grabs."

"Uhm..." I could hear the panic in his voice, but addressing it would probably only make it worse. "Can we play that racing game you have?"

My eyebrow quirked as I tried to think through my games and laughed when I realized he was talking about Mario Kart.

"Yeah of course. Just letting you know, I've memorized all the maps... I'll try to go easy on you." I shot him a playful wink and his cheeks immediately ignited, but again, if I addressed it, it would probably only get worse; so I just poured some chips into a bowl and led him upstairs.

I set down the snacks and my drink on the floor and set up the game before handing Gage the second controller that was meant for Violet. She'd play occasionally with me but she wasn't super into it. Though I was a huge fan of Nintendo, the Wii wasn't my first choice in consoles, but it was the only one we agreed upon so it was the one our mom said she'd buy.

"Uh... Leighton-" I turned and looked at Gage who looked like he had seen a ghost. "You-uh, you're... You're taking your pants off."

I looked down at my waist to see that I had in fact unzipped and was in the process of unbuttoning my jeans. Now it was my turn to turn scarlet red.

"Shit." I laughed, feeling more embarrassed than ever before. "I didn't even realize I was doing that." Which I honestly didn't. This had just been a ritual since I was like six years old, so I'm guessing my tired mind was just carrying through with it.

"I mean it's fine... I just didn't know if you knew what you were doing." Gage giggled and took a seat. "If you're too tired to hang out I understand."

"No, I'm fine." I laughed. "Unless you want to go?"

"No! I'm fine!"

"Alright, let's play then."

We played for what seemed like minutes, but in reality it had actually been a few hours. It just flew by with how much fun we were having, and it really did feel nice.

Violet did end up joining us once we stopped playing the game. I guess the silence drew out my over talkative sister, but that didn't bother me now.

She talked about how shitty her math teacher was, and how she wished I could beat him up too. I finally got her to shut up when I suggested that we should watch a movie on Netflix; so she gladly too my Gamepad controller and searched through all their movie database had to offer.

"I'm gonna go make some popcorn, do you guys need anything?" Violet asked and though I shake my head no, Gage asked for a drink. She rolled her eyes in response, as if she didn't offer to get us things, but both Gage and I knew that that was just how she was.

"Oh! Sorry!" I look over at Gage who looked like a deer in headlights. His shock didn't make any sense to me until I noticed his hand was under mine in the chip bowl. "You go first!"

I looked at him as if he had six heads. His hand was under mine which clearly meant he went for the chip first... But he pulled his hand out too quickly for me to protest.

"Here." I laughed, grabbing the chip from the bowl and holding it up to his mouth area. "This one is yours."

He shook his head no, not as if he didn't want it but as if taking it from me would be depriving me of something. So I just poked his lips with the chip until he laughed and took it. I wanted him to know that he didn't have to act so skittish around me, that I wasn't some demonic creature hell bent on his destruction for some trivial "inconvenience".

"Ugh gross," Violet groaned, now taking all the attention in the room back to her. "This popcorn tastes like garbage."

For a second I had thought she was talking about Gage and I... But we weren't doing anything; and even if we were she wouldn't be one to call it gross. So I don't really know why I would even think her comment was directed towards us.

"How?" Gage asked, and she just shrugged.

"Not enough butter, but we don't have any more so I guess this will have to do."

I glanced at Gage and he just rolled his eyes. It was amazing that Violet hasn't had a heart attack yet, I'm pretty sure her cholesterol was worse than a fifty year old mans, but with her luck she probably just had butter pumping through her veins instead of blood.

The movie my sister had picked quickly became excruciatingly boring and I could feel my eye lids starting to get heavy again. It was only six o'clock now, but a little nap wouldn't kill me. I looked around for a decently comfortable place to lay, but the only appealing places were on Gage's shoulder again, or in the chip bowl... So I took my chances with his shoulder.

I didn't bother asking or even letting it be known that I was going to lay there, because again... It would probably make things worse for the poor boy, so I just took it and acted as if I had just slumped over again.

Gage tensed for a brief moment before relaxing. He smelled nice as always, like fresh linen or cotton. Just a subtle scent for a subtle boy. I liked that he probably didn't use any cologne like I did. I don't think "masculine" scents would suit him well, they'd probably just make him smell off honestly.

If I had to pick a scent for him though, I'd probably choose something soft like pine or even lavender. Anything else would just over power him and how sweet he was.

"Leighton..." I opened my eyes briefly and hummed quietly in response at the sound of Gage whispering my name, but the movie was still going so I knew I didn't need to move. "I... Uh I got a pillow..."

I opened my eyes again to see him holding a pillow in his lap but I was too sleepy to actually move and place it under my head. So instead I just rolled my head off of his shoulder and onto the pillow where it laid. Sure I had to adjust my lanky body a little but this was far more comfortable.

I felt bad that I just kind of did things with this poor boy at my own liberty, but he didn't seem to mind at all. He actually seemed more welcoming than not. I'd have to apologize when I was more coherent, but right now I couldn't even imagine moving my lips enough to even form real words.