Miserably Loving You.

A content sigh slipped past my lips as I snuggled into Leighton's side. We were at his place sitting on the couch watching movies on Netflix and eating more junk food.

I was kind of happy about Violet's sudden disappearance this evening, because Leighton and I had the chance to go on a date. Our first date. I smiled softly as I replayed this evening's events in my head. I had a really great time and I can't wait to do something like that again. Some people probably would've preferred something more...expensive or extravagant or whatever. But not me, I just liked being with Leighton.

I gazed up at him and he looked down at me when he realized I was staring at him. He smiled and placed a kiss on my lips. I covered my mouth with the sleeve of my sweater and laid my head back on Leighton's chest. I could definitely get used to this.

I liked being with him like this. It was all still so mind-boggling though. And sadly I couldn't be like this with him in public. Not until we tell Violet at least.

I frowned as I thought about my best friend. I hated keeping this from her, but I just didn't want Violet messing things up. And what if...what if she actually didn't approve? My stomach suddenly dropped. I hadn't really thought about if she didn't accept the fact that her brother and her best friend were dating. I'd just been afraid that she'd meddle in our relationship.

I didn't want to lose my best friend, but I also didn't want to lose Leighton especially when I just got him.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I raised up and looked at Leighton with wide eyes. "I-uhm.." I bit my lip. I wanted to tell him that yes I was okay, but then I remembered what he said about lying earlier this evening. I didn't want to keep things from him (besides the fact that I had a huge crush on him since a few months before I started seventh grade; he doesn't need to know that.)

I sighed and sat back against the couch. "I'm just thinking about Violet," I answer.

"Oh, uh she'll be okay."

I would've laughed if I wasn't so worried about Violet's reaction to us being together. "That's not what I meant," I say softly. "What if-what if Violet is angry that we didn't tell her right away or what if she just doesn't like it at all."

I wanted to cry but I held it in. Leighton sighed and wrapped his arms around me and I buried my face in his chest.
"Hey, we'll tell Violet and everything will go well and we can live happily ever after."

I giggled and wrapped my arms around him and I felt him place a kiss on the top of my head. I knew he was just saying that to make me feel better, but I didn't want to dwell on the "what-if's" anymore, so instead we put another movie on and cuddled on the couch and I just enjoyed this moment.

After a while I started to get sleepy. I let out a yawn and closed my eyes.

"Sleepy?" I heard Leighton whisper.

"Mhmm," I hum as I snuggle closer to him.

"Let's get you to bed than," he chuckles.

I made some incoherent noise but didn't bother moving. I didn't feel like getting up. I was so comfortable and I didn't feel like walking next door. Maybe Leighton wouldn't mind if I stayed over tonight.

"Can I sleep in your room?" I ask sleepily. "It won't be suspicious because you used to need me so you could fall asleep."

"Of course you can," Leighton laughed.

I reluctantly got up from my spot and stretched. Leighton turned off the TV and I helped him clear up the mess of junk food before we made our way up to his room.

"Uhm L-Leighton," I say softly as we entered his room, my cheeks beginning to heat up.

"Yeah?" He asks as he stops midway pulling down his pants.

If my face wasn't red before it was definitely red now."I-uhm uh nevermind," I say quickly.

"No, what's wrong?" He asks as he pulls his pants back up and comes over to where I'm standing in the doorway.

I bit my lip and shrug. "I uh- c-can I borrow some pants to sleep in?"

Leighton laughs and I look up at him with wide eyes. "Is that all?" He asks. I don't say anything and he grabs a pair of pants out of his drawer and hands them to me.

"Thanks," I whisper as I take the pants. "I'm gonna go change in the bathroom."

Leighton nods and I hurry to the bathroom and quickly change into the sweats that Leighton lent me and kept the sweater I was currently wearing on. Of course Leighton's pants were kinda big on me and too long. But liked it.

I made my way back to Leighton's room and he had already changed and was sitting in bed waiting for me. "You look adorable as always," he laughs as I enter the room.

I blush and turn the lights off before climbing into bed beside him. He immediately wrapped his arms around me and I laid my head on his chest.

"Goodnight Leighton," I whisper.

"Night Gage."

~

The next morning I woke up before Leighton, and I just laid there with my head on his chest listening to the sound of his heart beat. I didn't want to get up. I just wanted to stay here all day.

But I had to pee so I reluctantly got up from my comfortable position and went to the bathroom. And I decided since I was already up I might as well make breakfast for us. So, instead of heading back into Leighton's room I went downstairs to make breakfast.

His mother was away and Violet still wasn't here yet. So it was just me and Leighton still which gave us a little more time together. I let out a sigh as I begin to get out stuff to cook. We should probably plan on telling Violet soon. I don't know how long we'll be able to keep this from her. And I don't know how long I can go without kissing Leighton when I want to or just being close to him without it being suspicious. I've waited so long for this; I wanted to be close to Leighton every chance I got, but I also don't want Violet to ruin anything and I definitely don't want her getting upset.There's nothing worse than an upset Violet.

I shake the thoughts from my head and focus on making breakfast. Once I finished everything I placed it all on one big plate and washed up the dishes I'd used. I placed the plate on a tray along with two glasses and the bottle of orange juice from the fridge. I made my way upstairs and back into Leighton's room.

He was still asleep when I entered the room. I smiled, sat the tray on the nightstand, and climbed into the bed and gazed down at him. It wasn't creepy, because he was my boyfriend now and I could stare at him all I wanted. Even while he's sleeping.

I leaned down and placed a kiss on his lips. He made a pleasant humming sound and I giggled before leaning down to kiss him again.

This time to my surprise he kissed back. I pulled away with flushed cheeks and looked at him. His eyes were still closed but obviously he was awake now.

"Why'd you stop?" He asks, his eyes still shut.

I giggled and then leaned back down to kiss him again, placing my hands on either side of him. He brought a hand up to place on my cheek. I pulled away and looked down at him as his eyes fluttered opened.

"Good morning!" I smile.

"Morning."

"I made breakfast," I say sitting back on my knees and grabbing the tray from the nightstand. I sit the two glasses on the stand and pour juice in them before turning back to Leighton.

He caught me by surprise and kissed me. "Thank you."

I bit my lip and shrugged. I picked up a piece of bacon and brought it up to Leighton's mouth. He took a bite and I giggled, biting my lip afterwards. And breakfast continued like that. I'd feed him and vice-versa, and we talked about random things. And I knew we should probably talk about the whole "telling Violet situation" but I couldn't bring myself to bring that conversation up right now.

"Uhm-" I stopped and bit my lip feeling kinda stupid about what I was about to ask.

"Hmmm?" Leighton looks up at me and my cheeks heat up.

"Uhm c-can I kiss you again?" I whisper.

He laughs and I think my face is completely red now. "You don't have to ask."

"I-I know, but I thought that you were probably getting tired of kissing me," I say my voice getting quiet at the end.

This was all so new to me and I wasn't sure if people got tired of kissing their boyfriend/girlfriend, and I didn't want to annoy Leighton. Leighton leaned in to kiss me and I didn't hesitate to kiss back. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I let out a whimper as he deepened the kiss. I didn't really know what to do. We'd never used tongue before and I definitely wasn't going to be the one to initiate it, so I just wrapped my arms around his neck and I was practically in his lap and I could feel my face heating up, but I was too lost in the kiss to care.

I was so caught up in our kiss that I hadn't realized his bedroom door had opened until it was too late.

"Leighton where's-"

Shit. When the hell did Violet get here? We quickly pulled away and I turned around to look at my best friend who was standing in the door way. I couldn't really decipher the look on her face. I just hoped she wasn't angry.

"Well, looks like I'm interrupting something huh?" she says before closing the door back and leaving.

"Shit," Leighton cursed and I turned to look at him as I bit my lip.

"I'll go talk to her," I say getting out of the bed.

"Are you sure? Do you want me to?"

I look back at Leighton and give an uneasy smile. "I'm sure."

I walk out of his room and I close the door behind me and take a deep breath before making my way to Violet's room. I hope she isn't angry. I take another breath before turning the doorknob and opening the door. Violet's sitting on her bed and I sigh as I enter her room and shut the door behind me.

"Violet," I say slowly before biting my lip. (Damn I've been abusing my lip a lot today.)

"I knew there was a reason you've been taking up for him whenever I say anything even remotely insulting about him. I actually kinda figured it out already but I wasn't a hundred percent sure, and I was trying to give you time to tell me yourself," she says.

"But I guess the term "best friends" means nothing to you, huh?"

I furrow my eyebrows at her. Wow she's taking things to a whole different level already. "Violet, that's-"

"Were you guys even going to tell me at all or were you just planning on keeping it from me forever? When the hell did you guys even get together?"

"We-"

"Are you guys even together or just fucking arou-"

"Violet, just let me talk!" I raise my voice.

She narrows her eyes at me and I sigh. I didn't want to argue with her. I was hoping that last argument would be our first and last, but Violet doesn't make things easy. "Violet, I'm sorry; I really am. I don't want to fight, so just hear me out please," I say.

She doesn't say anything so I continue. "He kissed me at the Halloween party and obviously I couldn't tell you about it anyways because you were drunk, and later he asked me to be his boyfriend, and it was all a complete shock to me. I didn't even give him an answer right away! And we were planning on telling you. I just didn't tell you right away, because I liked him for so long and for some odd reason he actually likes me too and sometimes you say things and do things without thinking and I didn't-" I bite my lip and look up at my friend who is staring at me intently. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. "I didn't-I didn't want you to ruin things and-"

"Wait, you were afraid that I would ruin things?" Violet asks sounding offended.

"Well, I didn't tell you at first because I didn't think he liked me at all! And I was afraid you'd say something to him, and when he asked me to be his boyfriend we didn't tell you right away, because well firstly I haven't told you about my feelings about your brother and I knew you'd be upset, but also because you'd-you'd begin to pry and I've wanted this for so long and I just want to enjoy it. I-"

"So, you're scared that I'm gonna fuck up your relationship with my brother? To me it sounds like you just want to keep my brother to yourself and you don't want me anywhere in the picture. Honestly you sound pretty fucking selfish to me."

"Violet, that's not-"

"I'm glad you think so fondly of me, Gage. I thought we were friends!"

"We are Violet, I-" My eyes were starting to water now. Great, now I was crying. I tried to blink back the tears, but they wouldn't go away.

"Friends don't lie to each other."

"I didn't-"

"Keeping secrets is basically lying, and if you're keeping things from me who knows what kind of things you'll keep from Leighton."

"That's not-"

"Just-just get out of my room."

"But, Violet-" Tears were rolling down my cheeks and I bet my eyes were red and puffy now. This is not how I wanted things to turn out. I wanted Leighton and I to tell Violet together and she was supposed to be happy for us. Not this.

"Get out of my room!"

I quickly opened the door and exited her room. Leighton was in the hall when I came out of Violet's room. I heard him say my name, but I ignored him and hurried down the stairs and ran out of their house. Ms. McQuin was just getting out of her car and she greeted me cheerfully until she saw my tear-stained face. She tried asking what was wrong, but I just shook my head and made my way to my house. I pulled the door open and let it slam shut behind me.

My mom poked her head out the kitchen at the sound. "Gage, why are you slamming doors?" she comes into the living. "Gage, honey what's wrong?" she asks upon noticing the tears streaming down my face.

My dad was coming out of his office and before they could both start interrogating me I escaped up to my room where I shut the door and threw myself down on my bed and sobbed.

After that first fight with Violet I never wanted to fight with her again, but looks like that's not happening. That's why I didn't want to tell her in the first place, because she's just blowing things all out of proportion! I just wanted her to be happy for us. I curled up in a ball and cried. There was a knocking on my door but I ignored it and it finally went away.

If it all comes down to it I'd breakup with Leighton if that'll make Violet happy. I didn't want to lose my best friend over this. In actuality I didn't want to lose my best friend or my boyfriend. I ended up crying myself to sleep.