Miserably Loving You.

Today was absolute shit, usually I was used to being ignored and just going with the flow but ever since I had someone to kind of care about I had kind of gotten used to having a friendly face smiling at me throughout the day… So not having one really did effect my entire day.

I was kind of dreading the awkward lunch with my sister, but as soon as I walked into the cafeteria there was a familiar but foreign head sitting at my table in Violets usual seat.

“What’s the occasion?” I asked as I sat down.

“Can’t a man just sit with his oldest friend every now and then?”

“I guess,” I laughed. “Wait… Are you even in this lunch Darren?”

“Uh, no, that’s why I have to make this quick…”

“Okay, what’s up?”

“I just wanted to know what happened. You were walking around with a smile for the last few weeks and then BAM! You’re back to how you were…”

“Uh, that’s too long of a story to compress and the reason is walking in right now-“ I looked up to see Gage but he made a beeline towards the outside eating area. “Is that really why you wanted to talk?”

“Caught me again, I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m concerned and I think we should definitely get together and hang out for real, but… I uh, I wanted to ask if you’d be cool with me asking your sister to prom?”

I looked at my friend with a blank face, and then smiled. I wanted to say no because she was my sister, but how much of a hypocrite would that make me? Darren was a good guy, I trusted him, and if he fucked up I would kill him. Telling him no would make me Violet; and like hell was I about to do that to her. But then who am I kidding. Darren has been pining after my sister for a while- like since we were kids, and she always turned him down, so him asking her to prom would just be awesome. She’d panic because if I know my sister she wants nothing more than to be a part of every upper class thing she can get her hands on, but also knowing her as well as I do she will reason herself out of going on a date with Darren. So that’s where I come in, she’s going to feel bad about wanting to tell him no, so like always she’ll ask me to tell him no… But too late! I will have already told him yes.

“Go for it dude.” I smirked, and his smile grew ten fold.

“Are you sure? You’ve always told me no, what’s different now?”

“She’s a grown ass woman, she can make decisions for her-“ I paused as a small brown haired boy burst through the doors and speed walked through the cafeteria. I couldn’t really tell, but he looked as if he were crying, so of course I got to my feet as my sister followed in behind him looking as if she had a metaphorical tail between her legs as she approached me.

“What did you-“ I looked over her shoulder at the familiar boy following behind her. I don’t know why I stopped talking, but just seeing him gave me a pretty good idea of what she had done.

“Gage told me to stay the hell out of his life… I really fucked up this time…” I looked between her and that douche behind her… I mean I didn’t know his involvement, but he just rubbed me the wrong way.

“Did he now?” I asked, my interest quickly fleeting as she explained the story. I really didn’t think my opinion of my sister could get any lower than it already had, but this wouldn’t be the first time I was wrong.

“Yeah, I might have tried hooking him up with Elliott, I figured you guys were done and…” I sighed and shook my head before grabbing my bag so I could head out. “Wait Leighton, where are you going?”

“To try to fix what you fucked up, again.” I snapped and I could see that she was about to cry, so I turned on my heel and started walking.

“How am I supposed to get home?”

“Walk.” I felt like shit. I shouldn’t and I wasn’t about to turn around and comfort her, but she was my blood and being so mean really was starting to wear on me. I’d make it though, I’d have too. She had to stop meddling and tearing apart everyone around her to make her life more comfortable.

“But-“ I stopped listening after that and made my way over to Gage’s house. Gage’s mom gave me that same skeptical, accusing, but soft look I was kind of getting used too before letting me in and allowing me to go up to her sons room after asking me a few questions about what I was up too and what I thought had happened. I told her what I knew of course, but hurried my way through all of that so I could dive head first into my sisters mess again.

I was starting to miss how easy and uncomplicated my insomnia riddled nights were, how much simpler being a walking zombie was, and how emotionally uninvolved I was for such a long time… But Gage was hurting and most of it was because of me; so I had to try to stop at least most of that.

I didn’t bother knocking, or announcing my entrance this time. I just crawled in bed beside him and wrapped my arms around him tightly. He looked like absolute hell which made my stomach sink even more, but he still really did look great to me.

“Leighton…” He whimpered. “This… This doesn’t help.” I thought maybe he was talking about the grip I had around him so I loosened my arms a bit but then realization hit me like a ton of fucking bricks and all but winded me.

“Oh…”

“I really wish it did, but I just feel worse after.” He whimpered again. “I’m so sorry Leighton.”

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for Gage,” I sighed and kissed his forehead. “it’s just how our lives go I guess. Me catching a break never really happens, so I was an idiot to think that this would pan out in any way other than terribly. So please, don’t beat yourself up. Maybe we can try again later or something, or hell, maybe you could try with that Elliott kid. But I swear to God if he hurts you I’ll kill him.” I chuckled, trying to fight back how sad this really made me. He was already beating himself up enough, so I figured that the absolute last thing he needed was to know how utterly disappointed I was with all of this.

I just wanted my little ray of sunshine… Just for once.

But I had to “be strong” and put on a “brave face” for Gage’s sake. There was no doubt in my mind that this was about a million times harder for him, so my emotions would have to just wait until tonight.

“That’s not happening. I’m just going to move away and become a nun or something.” Gage chuckled, an actual smile gracing his adorable face. “This will all blow over right?”

“Yeah, maybe not today or tomorrow, but I’m sure you and Violet will be back to normal sometime.” I said, trying my best to reassure him.

“Okay, thank you Leighton…” He pulled me into a tight hug, and I really just wanted to stay there like this with him… Because even though my world was a wreck right now, it was pretty simple right in this room; and I knew that as soon as I had to leave his side I’d have to face what was waiting for me alone and I really just wasn’t ready to do that. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“Who uh… Who was sitting with you at lunch?”

“Darren? The guy who threw the Halloween party. He was just asking if he could ask Violet to prom.” I chuckled, and Gage smiled.

“You told him yes right? Please tell me you told him yes.”

“Of course I did.” I laughed.

“Good.” He giggled. “Tell me how that goes?”

“Sure thing.” I chuckled. “And Gage, you know you can call me any time if you just need some company or something too okay? We don’t have to snuggle or be couple-ly but we also really don’t have to stop being friends either.” I offered him a half assed smile once he nodded before forcing myself out of his bed, and the look on his face really did break my heart as I started to go. He looked absolutely miserable, but there was nothing I could do now. This just had to run its course.

I made my way down stairs and smiled at Gage’s mom. She asked about a million more questions and I answered all that I could, but none of them were really satisfying to either or us. So I was really surprised when she pulled me into a hug, but I gladly accepted it and told her that my family and I would come over for dinner as soon as things blew over.

When I got home my mom was waiting by the front door with a stern look that I probably haven’t seen since like fourth grade on her face. I really wasn’t exactly mentally capable of giving a shit right now, so I just sighed and shook my head for what seemed like the umpteenth time today.

“Violet broke Gage again.” I said and my Moms face lightened a bit and she sighed.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.” I sighed. “I just, I’m so tired mom.”

“Like usual tired… Or?”

“Like tired of her. She runs your life and now she’s trying to run mine, I can’t take it mom.”

“She does not run my life.” My mom laughed and I raised my eyebrow.

“Really? How long have you and what’s his face been dating?”

“Kris and I have been dating for… Wow almost two years, why? What’s your point?”

“My point is that in almost seven hundred days of being together, he’s never been over here once and you kept him a secret for the majority of you two dating. She runs your life mom.” It was like a light flipped on in my moms head and she started to look almost ashamed.

“She’s turning out to be exactly like your dad.”

“Yep, oh well. She won’t listen to me so…” My mom held up a finger as if another light flipped on in her head and she smiled.

“She can’t ruin Kris and I, so if you’re willing to be the best son ever, we might be able to work together on fixing her before it’s too late.”

“I’m listening…”

“Well, how about we invite Kris over for dinner tonight?”

“What will that accomplish?” I chuckled.

“Nothing really, I just know she’ll probably make an ass out of herself, and maybe it’ll teach her something. More or less it’s just an idea to regain control over the life I didn’t notice I lost control over.”

Ahhh, my mom. She’s a lawyer, she’s business savvy, but a conventional parent is something she is definitely not.

“Alright Mom.” I chuckled and shook my head again. “On a different note, I’m pretty excited about meeting Kris. He better be as special as you’ve made him out to be, or I’m gonna beat him up.”

“Oh he is.” My mom chuckled. “I promise you, he’s something else.”