Miserably Loving You.

As soon as Leighton left my room fresh tears begin to spill from my eyes. I curl up and snuggle into the spot he had previously been laying in relishing in his warmth and inhaling his lingering scent before falling back into my misery.

At least I know who the guy who was sitting with him at lunch is now I guess. I know it's really selfish of me, but I didn't want him with anyone else. I mean I wanted him to be happy and everything, but I just wouldn't be able to handle him being with someone else, especially after he had finally been mine.

I fell back into my depressing thoughts when a knock on my door momentarily pulled me out of them. My mom poked her head in and gave me a sad smile.

"Hey, sweetie, I'm going to bake cookies. Do you want to help?" She asks.

"No thanks," I answer quietly.

She lingers in the doorway as if she wanted to say more, but instead she thinks better of it and closed the door quietly behind her.

I laid there for a moment feeling guilty for leaving my parents in the dark. It's almost been a week and they were putting up with my shit without forcing me to tell them what was going on.

They deserved better. So, I forced myself to roll out of bed and made my way to the bathroom so I could make myself look a little less miserable. As I make my way to the kitchen I can hear my mother on the phone with my father, so naturally I stop in my tracks to eavesdrop.

"I'm just really worried about him, Gavin." My mom says to my dad and I wish I could hear what he was saying too.

"Really? Because it's been nearly a week now. How much time are we supposed to give him? I just feel like whatever he's going though isn't close to getting any better and I don't want... I just hate seeing my little boy like this."

By now it sounded like my mom was on the edge of breaking down as she tried to hold back her tears and I felt even worse if that was possible with how shitty I was already feeling.

"Well, Leighton came by to check on him...hmm do you really think so...it's really sweet of him either way."

I wait until my mom says goodbye before making an appearance.

"Oh, hey, honey, is everything okay?" My mom says upon seeing me.

I nod and lean against the closest counter watching my mom pouring ingredients into a large bowl. A silence falls between us as I watch her .

"I'm sorry, Mom," I choke out. At first I think she doesn't hear me until she looks up at me with her sad eyes.

"Oh, sweetie," she sighs as she walks over to me and pulls me into a hug. Tears are falling from my eyes as I hug her back.

Once she pulls away I begin to wipe at my eyes. "C-can I still help?" I ask.

She gives me a warm smile. "Of course, sweetie!"

I smile and grab the bowl and finish stirring in the ingredients. Things aren't so solemn as we continue to prepare the cookies together and talk about school and random things, steering clear of my current situation.

There's a knock at the door and I look up at my mom who shrugs in response but makes her way to get the door nonetheless and I'm left alone plopping dough onto a cookie sheet.

"Hey, Gage, look who decided to come over," my mom says and I look up to see Violet standing awkwardly beside my mother.

I look away from Violet without a word and continue putting cookie dough onto the cookie sheet. We were engulfed in a dense silence. Neither one of us made an attempt to be the first to break it.

"Oh, uhm, is everything okay?" my mom asks cautiously.

"I don't know ask Violet," I respond coolly.

"Um, everything's fine, Mrs. Callaghan. Can I uhm talk to Gage alone, please?"

"Oh, sure! I'll be in the living room if you two need anything," my mom says before exiting the kitchen and leaving me and Violet alone.

Violet makes her way over to me and silently helps me with the cookies. For a second I want to tell her to go away and that I didn't need her help, but I bit my tongue and just let her be. Once we had all the dough on two cookie sheets I put them in the oven.

And let the awkward silence commence.

If Violet wasn't going to say anything why the hell did she even come over? The last time we spoke I'm pretty sure I told her to "stay out of my life" so what is she doing here? Getting fed up with the silence, I open my mouth to say something but Violet beats me to it.

"My mother's boyfriend came over tonight," she said casually.

I look at her with pursed lips before speaking. "And so you want me to feel sorry for you or something?" I ask. "Are you gonna yell at your mother and tell her everything you don't like about her dating him, and make her break up with her boyfriend too?"

I know I sounded harsh, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Violet didn't think twice about the things she said and she's been a pain in the ass lately, so it didn't hurt for me to play the bitch for once.

Violet looked at me with a mixture of guilt and hurt on her face. She didn't say anything so I took that as my opportunity to get my feelings and thoughts out in the open. With Violet you barely get the chance to put in two words so of course I had to take advantage of her quietness.

"Just because things don't go your way doesn't mean you get to interfere. Things aren't going to always go the way you want them to and you can't be in control over everything especially other people's lives. You need to let people make their own decisions and mistakes."

When Violet still doesn't speak I let out a frustrated sigh and say, "The last time I checked we weren't really on great terms, so why are you here? You've only said six words since you've been here and they weren't even in the form of an apology."

Violet took a shaky breath and I noticed that her eyes were watering. I think this was the second maybe third time I've seen her cry. And even though it was her own fault I couldn't stand seeing her like this.

"I couldn't stand being at home any more. I needed someone to vent to, but the only person I could think of was you and you told me to stay out of your life, so I was gonna go to the park instead, but I still found myself in front of your house...and I don't know. I'm sorry for bothering you."

Violet turns to leave and I took a breathe before stopping her. "Violet, wait."

She turns around with tears running down her cheeks and it feels weird to see my best friend like this. No matter how upset I was at her she was still my best friend and I wasn't heartless or capable of letting her go. So, I cross the kitchen and bring her into a hug.

She lays her head on my shoulder and cries and I just tighten my arms around her.

"I'm so sorry, Gage," she chokes out. "I'm such a horrible friend, aren't I?"

I sigh, "No. You're not." We pull away and Violet gives me a soft smile which I return before walking back to the oven and taking the cookies out. I turn back to Violet and sigh. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," I say softly.

I really didn't want to talk about this, but I guess this whole mess wasn't all Violet's fault. I was dating her brother behind her back.

At first Violet looks confused and then realization washes over her face. "Oh, uhm well like I said I kinda figured it out anyways. And I think I was just more hurt that you didn't tell me sooner, and I had to walk in on you and my brother making out. Something I did not really want to see."

My cheeks heat up and I look away from Violet as she lets out a quiet laugh.

"Is everything okay in here?" My mom asks peeking around the corner.

Was everything okay? Violet apologized and I even apologized. And we even talked a little about why everything went sour for us in the first place, but I still felt like things weren't exactly okay between us.

Nevertheless I let out a laugh. "Yes, Mom. You can come in now."

She smiles at me and enters the kitchen. "I know, it is my kitchen after all. I just didn't want to interrupt you two."

"It's alright Mrs. Callaghan, I think everything's okay now," Violet says to my mom but her eyes were on me.

I knew my mom was probably happy to hear that, but like I said the atmosphere between us still feels a little tense.

"That's good to hear," my mom says giving me a smile. It was a great contrast to the worry she's been wearing for the pass days. I guess I can pretend things are okay for her sake. "Oh, and the cookies are ready!"

"Oh yeah, can I try one now?" Violet asks turning her attention to the freshly baked cookies I left cooling on the counter.

"Of course, oh and you should also take some home," my mom says as she grabs a container and starts piling cookies inside. "And I'm putting a few extras in there for Leighton, because he's been a real sweetheart."

"Mom," I sigh.

Violet looks at me and puts a smile on her face before turning back to my mom. "Oh, I'm sure he'll enjoy them."

I couldn't tell if her smile was genuine or fake and it kinda made me nervous and a little fidgety.

"Here you go Violet," my mom says handing Violet the container full of cookies.

"Thank you, Mrs. Callaghan, this is really sweet of you."

"No problem, and Gage make sure you leave some for your father."

I nod and with that my mom exits the kitchen and it's quiet again and Violet grabs one of the chocolate cookies and I let out a sigh.

"Violet."

"Hey, do you want to watch a movie?"

I stare at Violet who was looking at me with a smile on her face. Everything was definitely not okay. She could pretend all she wanted, but I knew that she still wasn't okay with me and her brother dating.

"I think you should go back home," I say and I continue before she could interrupt again. "I know you're still upset about your parents' divorcing and everything, but clearly they weren't happy with each other. Don't you want her to be happy or is other people's happiness not of your concern?"

"It's not tha-"

"Is it okay just as long as you're happy, is that it?"

"Why are you being like this?" Violet asks angrily.

I narrow my eyes at her. "What? You mean telling the truth? Because you need to hear it."

Violet's glare falters and I let out a sigh. I didn't mean to be so harsh to her. I just needed to get my feelings out there, because I'm just so used to bottling everything up. But two wrongs don't make a right, right?

"Sorry, I just...I already made a mess of things over there. So I think it's better if I just stay away right now. I can go somewhere else though if you don't want me here."

Violet turns to leave again, and again I stop her. She turns around and I offer her a small smile. "Want to go watch a movie?" I ask.

She smiles and nods. We go up to my room and watch movies and for the time being things feel normal again. Just me and my best friend enjoying one of our favorite past times. And even though I knew things were still rocky between us, I ignored it for the time being and just enjoyed the here and now.