Miserably Loving You.

Things between Violet and I were semi-back-to-normal. It was almost like nothing ever happened and honestly, that kind of irritated me. I mean I do want things to be okay between us, but she wants to pretend like nothing happened. I'm not trying to hold a grudge against her or anything, but I wish that she would just realize that she was being a big jerk and just let me and Leighton be.

But obviously that won't happen so I guess I just have to deal with it for now.

Violet was telling me how much she really disliked her mom's boyfriend. How he was a "total jerk", and asked "too many questions". And apparently he ignored her and was harassing Leighton?

I don't know; Violet is known for over exaggerating. It made me kind of wary about this Thanksgiving dinner though. I wanted it to go smoothly. I just wanted us to enjoy each other, but Violet will no doubt make a scene.

But there was one thing she said that actually got to me. She said Leighton mentioned something about going to Oregon for college or something and it had me thinking again. At the end of the school year Leighton will graduate and most likely leave for college.

I didn't want him to go.

I know that initially I thought I was just his "younger sister's friend" or whatever to him, but since that Halloween party last month everything's changed. And now I was going to miss him even more than I would've before.

Maybe I could persuade him to stay. No, why would he stay here for me especially when we weren't together anymore. And I didn't want to keep him tied down here. He should go and see the world. I was just being selfish.

"Are you even listening to me?" Violet huffs.

I blink and look up at my friend who was sitting at the end of my bed flipping through one of the few music magazines I owned.

"No, not really," I say truthfully with a shrug.

She sends me a glare and I just stare back at her with a blank expression on my face.

"Well, I'm glad that what I have to say is really important to you."

I open my mouth to say something, but thought better of it. "Sorry, what were you saying?" I ask instead.

Violet rolls her eyes and lets out a dramatic sigh as she lays back on the bed staring up at me. Her hair fanned out around her and I ran my fingers through her blonde locks.

"I was just saying that I'm bored out of my fucking mind and we should go somewhere!"

"Like where?"

"I dont know! The mall? Somewhere, let's just get out of the fucking house!"

I sigh. "Fine, I'll ask my mom if she can take us."

Violet beams and sits up enthusiastically. I playfully roll my eyes at my friend before slipping my shoes on and making my way downstairs to my mom who was curled up on the couch with a book.

"Mom?"

She looks up from her book and smiles at me. "Yes, sweetie?"

"Can you take Violet and me to the mall please. Before she dies of boredom or something."

Violet nudges me and I stick my tongue out at her.

My mom laughs. "Of course, let me get my purse."

"Yay, thanks Mrs. Callaghan, you're the best!"

"What happened to your usual driver?" My mom asks as we get into the car.

"We fired him," Violet answers.

"We're letting him rest," I say nudging Violet.

She rolls her eyes. " Gage, is letting him rest. He's currently on my list."

"Your list?" My mom repeats glancing through the rearview mirror.

Violet nods. "Yeah, it's sort of like a hit list

I sigh. "Don't listen to her, she's just being stupid. Can you turn up the music please?"

The rest of the ride was filled with music and Violet's eyes burning a whole into the back of my head as I stared out of the window trying to ignore her stare.

I didn't know if she was pissed about me calling her stupid or because I sort of took up for her brother again, which I dont understand why it bothers her so much.

When we made it to the mall I thanked my mom and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"I'll call when we're ready," I say.

"Okay, sweetie be safe and have fun."

"We will."

I waved as my mom drove away and as soon as she was out of sight Violet hit me. I rub my arm and turn to look at her. She has her hands on her hips and a glare directed towards me."What the hell, Gage?"

"What?"

She shakes her head and starts walking-more like stomping- towards the mall. I let out a sigh and follow behind her taking my phone out of my pocket. I open a new message and begin typing:

Your sister is PMSing

After I sent the message I kind of wished I hadn't. What if he was sleeping. What if he was busy. What if... My phone vibrated and I looked down in surprise to read Leighton's reply.

She's always PMSing

I grin and let out a giggle. Violet turns around to glare at me. She opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by my name being called from behind me.

I turn around to see Elliot heading in our direction.

"Hi, Elliot."

"Hey, is everything okay now?" He asks almost hesitantly when he stops in front of us. He glanced at Violet and then back at me.

I almost forgot that the last time we saw each other Violet and I got into an argument in the cafeteria.

"Yeah, we're okay."

"Cool, what're you guys up to?"

I shrug. "Violet dragged me here."

"You didn't have to come."

I turn to look at Violet and stick my tongue out at her. She mimics me.

"I was supposed to catch a movie with my sister and her friend, but do you guys want to go see one instead."

"Yes!" Violet says immediately. "You're treating right?"

"I don't really know you like that, but since I like Gage I guess so," Elliot shrugs.

I look at him with a raised eyebrow and he just grinned at me before walking in the direction of the AMC.

I follow behind them robotically. The last time I went to the movies was with Leighton. Our first and sadly last date. A small smile slid on my lips as I thought about how we snuck into another movie after finding out the first was god awful, the kisses and popcorn we shared. And then cuddling when we got back home.

"You'll have to excuse him, he's been off in another world all day."

I blink and look at Violet and than at Elliot. My cheeks flushed when I realized the two were staring at me. For how long? I dont think I want to know.

"I was just asking what movie did you want to see," Elliot says.

"Oh, uhm...whatever." I shrug.

"He's no help, let's just see the one I want to see."

Elliot sighs. "I don't particularly like chick-flicks."

Elliot and Violet couldn't agree on a movie, but in the end we were stuck watching some lame, under-budget romance film, because obviously what Violet says goes.

The only thing that got me through the horrid film was Elliot's narration and side comments. A couple of times we got "shushed" for giggling too loud and Violet even gave us one of her famous death glares. And some how most of our popcorn ended up in Violet's hair.

Elliot and I walked out of the movie laughing our asses off and Violet looked like she was ready to murder.

"You two are so fucking obnoxious," she growls. "I'm so fucking annoyed and hungry."

I giggle. "Sorry, but that was horrible."

Violet rolls her eyes. "Order me food . I'm going to the bathroom."

"Restroom."

Violet gives me a weird look and stops in her tracks. "What?"

"You're not at home. It's restroom in public places," I explain with a straight face. "There's no bath unless its like a community bathroom at a college or in hotel or maybe some weird sketchy looking -"

"Shut up you dork," Violet says rolling her eyes and punching my shoulder.

I laugh and Elliot has a smirk on his face as he shakes his head at me.

"By the way, if you can't wait until you get your food you can have a snack while you're in the restroom," Elliot says referring to the popcorn that still remained in Violet's hair.

I giggle as Violet gives us a weird look. I walk up to her and ruffle her hair. Popcorn falls out and she glares at us. I laugh as she stomps away putting her middle finger up.

I turned to look at Elliot who is grinning. "I think she hates us," he laughs.

I shrug. "She'll get over it now let's find food; I'm getting hungry too."

We walk through the food court in search of food until we finally decided on Chinese. Once we ordered and had our food we found a table to sit at.

"Even though the movie sucked, I still enjoyed myself," Elliot says.

I giggle and nod in agreement. "I don't think everyone else enjoyed it as much as we did though," I giggle.

"I'm pretty sure everyone wanted to murder us," Elliot laughs. "Even though most of the people were preoccupied with their phones and not paying the slightest attention o the shitty film."

"Yeah, I think Violet was the only one who was really into it."

"Violet's obviously not getting any."

I was taking a sip of my drink when Elliot said that and choked on it as I was swallowing. Elliot's eyes widened and he quickly got up from his seat and sat in the chair next to me. He awkwardly patted my back and repeatedly asked if I was okay as I choked on my drink and laughter.

When I finally came down I began to laugh, leaning in to Elliot so I wouldn't topple over.

"Damn it, Gage, you scared the shit out of me," Elliot breathed.

I bit my lip to keep my laughter at bay and turned to look at Elliot. "Sorry," I giggle. "Your fault though."

"Are you alright?"

I let out another giggle. "Yeah, yeah just never say that again."

And then everything suddenly stopped. One minute I was leaning against Elliot trying to control my laughter and then he was giving me a weird look. I furrowed my eyebrows and tilted my head to the side. When I was opening my mouth to say something his lips were on mine.

I pushed him away and stared at him with wide, teary eyes. "What the hell, Elliot?!"

"I'm sorry. I just-I-you..." His eyes were wide too and it looked like he was about to have a panic attack.

But I didn't stay to find out. I quickly got up from my seat and ran.

That wasn't supposed to happen. That didn't just happen. That couldn't have happened.

Leighton was supposed to be my first and last kiss. I didn't want to kiss anyone else. I didn't want to be with anyone else.

When Leighton just kissed me like that it was okay because it was Leighton, but when Elliot did it I didn't enjoy it. I suddenly felt dirty. I felt like I betrayed Leighton even though we weren't together anymore.

I wanted to throw up. And I did.

Right there in the center of the mall.

No one stopped or cared that I was currently empting my stomach in the middle of the mall. It felt like everyone was looking at me in disgust. And I didn't even go find anyone to clean it up. I had to get out of there.

When I was outside in the fresh air I called my mom to pick me up. I waited for her under a nearby tree with tears spilling from my eyes. I hope Violet wasn't too upset that I was just abandoning her. Maybe she'll catch a ride with Elliot or call her brother to pick her up.

I felt gross and I just wanted to go home and do what I do best: Curl up in bed and wallow in my self misery.