Miserably Loving You.

I smiled and sighed heavily as I threw myself on my bed. Today was the last day of school before winter vacation and I managed to get through it without having any awkward "what are your plans for the holidays" conversations.

Gage was at his house now, doing whatever Gage things he needed to do before coming over for the evening. He, Violet and I agreed that tonight I would get the evening with him since Violet had other plans later on. I was kind of curious as to what those plans were but the majority of me didn't care. I was just excited that I didn't have to share him for long.

God, it really did sound like a custody battle though. I did my best to give them their time together, but really I didn't like having him too far away from me; and that honestly was the weirdest thing.

If we weren't together we were texting, and the nights he couldn't spend with me he made sure to FaceTime me until I fell asleep. So he pretty much single handedly cured me of my insomnia.

I don't know what it is about him, but something about him puts me completely at ease; and the more I think about him, the more my entire body itches for him to be near me.

"Leighton?" My head quickly turned to look at my door once I heard Violet, hoping to find my sister standing with my boyfriend but only to have those hopes crushed since she was standing alone.

"Yeah?" I responded as I sat up to get a better look at her. She was bundled up since I assumed she was going out, but she also had a suitcase and her backpack on. Was she staying the weekend with her friend?

"I uh... Just wanted to say goodbye to you... Alone, before I left."

"Left? Where?"

"I uh... I'm staying with Dad over the break. Mom already knows. I told her this morning, and before you get upset... I just want you to know that I need to do this." I stared at her in disbelief before sighing.

"Why?"

"Because... I don't really feel-" she took a deep breath as if to steady herself. "I don't really feel welcomed here anymore. I know that's crazy but everything is changing so fast and I just want to get away for a bit. Clear my head, you know?"

"Then take a fucking walk Vi. You know how important the holidays are to Mom."

"Dad deserves to see us too you know!"

"He blew that chance when he fucked another woman! He doesn't deserve shit."

"He made a mistake Leighton, he wants back in this family, but moms the one keeping him out!"

"You are so fucking stupid." I groaned. "I'll remind you the first time some guy cheats on you if this. Maybe then you'll understand the full gravity of the trust that was broken."

"Whatever Leighton." She huffed before slamming my door behind her.

I honestly can't for the life of me get a hold on her ignorance. I've tried so hard to understand this unwavering loyalty she has to that bastard but I just... I can't! You don't hurt the people you love like that. Ever. No matter what. There is never a reason.

Don't get me wrong though, I love my Dad. I know he's not some unforgivable demon, but he also hasn't shown me much of a reason to welcome him back into my life. I had to hold my mom when she broke down and cried through the lonely nights, I had to make sure Violet was fed and taken care of because Mom was too busy working since she was now our sole provider. I was the man when my father couldn't step up.

So maybe that's where the rift between Violet and I is. I had to grow up and carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. I had to be that safety blanket of denial that kept her mind innocent and pure during such a dark time in our family.

But now... Now in a time of happiness and repair, now is the time that she can't handle it? Now that I'm not a dark cloud of sleeplessness and indifference, is the time that she decides it's all too much?

Where's the fairness in that?

I knew she was selfish and I knew she has always been self serving, but I thought that maybe just a small fraction of her would be happy for me.

But this wouldn't be the first time I was wrong, and it definitely won't be the last either I'm sure.

Her attitude towards this was probably all my fault though. I shielded her from noticing how our lives changed and now any shift in the current sends her boat toppling over.

Why was I so mad about this? I should be happy that my brat sister is gone, and I get a little more than a month alone with my boyfriend.

But for the life of me I just couldn't get excited. Maybe because I knew that this would upset Gage? I don't know.

This was just going to irk the shit out of me.

"Leighton?" I blinked myself out of my thoughts and saw Gage standing by my door. "Hey, are you okay?"

"What? Me? Yeah I'm fine." He pursed his lips and walked over too me and climbed into my lap. I adored how comfortable he was with me now. He kissed me when ever he wanted, took my hand when ever he pleased, and... I don't know. It was like this time around it wasn't so weird. I wasn't some sort of untouchable figure to him and he wasn't my sisters childhood friend. We were just Gage and Leighton.

"I think you're lying." He huffed as he situated himself to a more comfortable straddling position so he could actually look at me. "I talked to Violet before coming up here..."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry babe." He mumbled before holding my face in his hands. "I know this is a shitty move on her part but I really do think this will turn out for the better in the end."

"Really?" He nodded in response before pressing his lips to mine.

I tried so hard to hold on to that anger I was feeling but the second he took control everything else melted away.

There was nothing but him. He was my cure for everything. Nothing mattered but him anymore.

And I don't know what to call this feeling. Infatuation? Desperation? Love? I guess it didn't really matter, but I was definitely unequivocally in something with him.

He fixed me when I was at my wits end with myself, he cared when I was sure no one else did, he saw something worth loving in me when everyone else turned away... And he did all this without even knowing he was doing it.

My life before him was fuzzy to me now and at this point I never wanted to look back.

I wanted to tell him all this, but by the time we were both desperate for air... I just couldn't find the words. He took them all away with that smile of his and left me speechless.

"It's all going to blow over in time, I promise. We're going to be okay, and she'll follow suit once she realizes that that's not changing." He said, with such certainty that I couldn't help but to believe him myself.

"Thank you Gage... I..." I sighed and smiled. Now wasn't the time for something like this. If I do love him, I want to tell him on more than just a whim. I want to make sure he can feel how deeply I mean it when I say it. He deserved that. "Can't even describe how much you saying all that means to me."

He smiled in response before laying down on my bed and completely cocooning himself in my blankets. He squirmed about, knocking into me and pushing everything that was once on my bed off.

"What are you doing Gage?" I laughed and he looked at me with those big brown doe eyes and grinned.

"No idea, but I made laugh so I guess what I did worked!"

And in that moment, I knew I was definitely in love with him, but instead of making a potentially awkward situation happen, I picked up Gage -blankets and all- and carried him downstairs.

He kicked, he squealed, and he laughed until I dropped him on the couch. Then he laughed even harder when I plopped down on top of him.

The world around us just faded away again. My mom came and went without saying much. We could tell she was a little upset about Violet, but her and Kris were going shopping for Christmas presents so she wanted to "keep her spirit up" so Gage and I just didn't push the subject.

I really wanted to know why my mom let her go, but at the same time I really wanted to pull myself away from Violets brand of crazy. The more I concerned myself with it, the more I was just fueling the fire for new stunts like this.

Instead, once we were finally alone I turned to Gage and smiled when I saw he was already looking at me.

"So, my Dads been acting extra fatherly lately. Now that he sees that you and I are becoming more serious this time around he keeps saying that he's "gonna have a talk" with you." Gage said, mocking his dad's deeper voice. "I just... I think I'm just going to hide you so that never happens. He acts like he hasn't known you like almost all your life."

"Well, to be fair, he knew me as the boy next door. Now I'm the boy next door who's taking his one and only child away... Not only that, but our relationship has been put through the ringer already so I can understand his concern for you. I don't mind listening to his talk."

Gage groaned extra exaggeratedly before throwing himself back on the couch.

"I don't want him too, I just want everyone to leave us alone. No more weird things, just us."

"Let's run away then." I said, trying to keep my tone serious.

"Run away?"

"Yeah! Me, you, and the open road." I started as I scooted closer to him. He looked at me with such wonderment before crawling back into my lap like before and snuggled himself into my arms. "With nothing but the clothes on our backs. What do you say?"

"That sounds great." He chuckled softly. "What happens when we run out of gas?"

"Mmm, after we run out of gas? I guess that's where we'll plant our feet."

"Really? Just where ever the car stops? What if it's creepy?"

"I'll protect you." I chuckled. "Don't you worry about that."

"When do you want to go then?"

"Now?"

"Right now? That seems kind of crazy." He said as he played with my fingers. "You wouldn't be able to tell your mom goodbye or get to eat any of my moms Christmas food!"

"Oh..." I said, drawing out my o's. "You're right. Guess we can't leave! Dammit. It sounded like such a good plan too."

"It really did." Gage sighed as he kissed my jaw. "One day we'll do something like that though?"

"Yeah baby, one day."