Miserably Loving You.

This was killing me, Gage got home thirty minutes ago and he still hasn't sent a message or called to tell me that he was home.

Was I really that big of a jerk? I mean the more I reflected on how I handled that whole situation, the more I realized I was a tad bit insensitive... But I mean... That wasn't uncommon for me? Not that that was any excuse, but... Did I actually upset Gage that much that he decided he didn't want to see me tonight?

Not only all of this, but those pricks were bothering him again. Sure Gage just gave me the run around basics of the encounter, but... They were bothering him again.

I knew he wouldn't want me to do anything, but what happens if this happens again and neither Elliott or I are there? Then what? He gets beat because I didn't do anything? That's not going to happen.

I looked through my phone for anyone who could possibly know the guy, or at least one of them, and realized... Well, I don't have any contacts really. So I called Darren and waited, but he didn't pick up.

Of course not.

I can't blame him though, but I needed to figure out where these guys lived. I wanted to scare the living piss out of them like they do to Gage. Maybe befriend their parents, then ruin them from the inside...

That sounds crazy though.

Right?

I sighed again and got up off the couch and headed over to Gage's with the ice cream.

When I knocked his mom almost immediately answered the door and sighed... She almost sounded relieved? It would have felt nice, but I'm usually the underlying cause of her frustration so... I'd have to take that sigh as something less than flattery.

"Hey, is Gage-"

"Yes, he's upstairs." She said, interrupting me in such an exasperated way. "I'm sorry Leighton, I uh... Don't know how nice of company he will be. He's in... A mood."

"Yeah, I know. He had a rough day." I sighed. "I was kind of a jerk, so... I need to fix that. I'm sorry if he took that out on you."

She gave me a sympathetic look instead of a response before pulling me into her arms tightly.

I hugged the small woman back before letting her go and smiling.

"I'm so glad he has you Leighton. Even in moods like this, the happiness my baby has emanated since you two started dating has seriously warmed this household." She held my face and I couldn't help but to grin even wider.

"I'm glad, he's pretty special to me as well ma'am." She patted my cheek before turning me towards the stairs.

"Good luck, uhm... The door is locked though so here-" she pulled a pin from here hair and smiled. "If he won't answer just jimmy the lock with this."

I nodded and huffed a little before going upstairs. I've made this walk about a hundred times now, but not like this. Not to apologies for being a royal douche. I should have held him and made him feel safe, but I didn't. Instead I let a moment of insecurity blind me and ruin my boyfriends entire day.

"Gage..." I said as I knocked on the door, but I didn't hear a response back so I tried knocking again but to no avail. "Well alright... I'll just leave the ice cream here then."

I set the ice cream down and then headed to the stairs, but before we could take a step I heard his door open behind me and as I turned I saw a hand peeking out to grab the treat.

"Gage..." His hand froze on the carton before withdrawing completely, but before he could close the door I hurried over and put my hand on it. "Can I come in? Please?"

He opened the door a little more and motioned for me to come in, so I stepped in and he grabbed the ice cream before sitting on the floor. So... Of course, I sat on the floor too and watched him get to work on the carton.

"Gage," I sighed. "I'm sorry..."

"It's not your fault." He said as he licked the spoon. "I'm the bad boyfriend."

"How?" He shrugs and it looks like tears are about to start pouring from his eyes.

"I don't know... But I did something to make you upset."

"Baby, you didn't do anything."

"That's just it! I didn't, so why did you act like that? Should I have done more somewhere?!"

"No... Gage," I grabbed the ice cream from him and set it aside before I pulled him into my lap. "I was an asshole. I should have held you and made sure you were okay, but seeing Elliott with his arms around you... Protecting you... Upset me. Don't get me wrong, I'm so glad he was there, but... That's supposed to be me."

"Oh, Leighton." He sighed before wrapping his arms around me. "I knew you would have protected me and more if you were there."

"Yeah, but I wasn't, so I hurt you even more and-" he covered my mouth with his hand and smiled at me.

"Please stop blaming yourself. You didn't even know I was going out. There's nothing you could have done to prevented it." He said softly. "Now when I move my hands can we both promise to stop with the guilty pity party?"

I nodded since there wasn't really much else I could do and he slowly moved his hands. He was so cute about it that I just... Well how could you stop yourself from kissing a boy like him? I sure couldn't.

When we pulled away he gave me a curious look, and just as I was about to ask what was on his mind he started rubbing his face.

"Do you think that we could go back to doing what we were doing before you left? I just wanna watch movies and lay with you. Is that okay?"

"I was thinking we should go sky diving, but I guess we could do that." He huffed and hit my shoulder before getting up and helping me to my feet.

We must have watched at least three movies and finished the container of ice cream before his phone went off. He tried to ignore it the first time, and I missed seeing who it was on the caller ID but of course they called again a few minutes later.

"You should answer that." I said as he grabbed his phone, but then I saw Elliott's name... "Seems important."

"He can wait."

"Nah babe. Clearly he's just going to keep calling so you might as well get it over with now." There was a certain bite to my words, but I don't think Gage picked up on it since he answered. Who... I mean... I don't even know how to voice my frustrations with Elliott. I want to be mad that he called Gage twice, I wanted to tell Gage that I think he's slimy, but at the same time I know that's all so very unfair.

Gage doesn't deserve to change who his friends are because I have a fragile ego, nor do I need to make him feel like shit for hugging/ talking to/ or whatever with other males. He has to be his own person aside from me or this relationships just going to go... Well horribly.

Nothing's wrong with a little clingy but I mean one day I'll either get annoyed or I'll become the clingy one when he starts doing his own thing. So it's best to just start off with things right rather than try to mend them along the way.

"Yes Elliott, I'm fine... No, no things are okay. Yeah? Probably... Elliott, I have... I have to go now. Yes... Thank you for the concern. Bye." He groaned after he hung up and hugged me tightly. I don't know if he was putting on a show or if he was genuinely annoyed but it really didn't matter.

"I'm sorry." He sighed.

"For what?"

"For him."

"Do you want him to leave you alone?"

"What?" He looked at me confusedly but I thought it was weird he was apologizing for him. That's usually what people did when they had clingy significant others. Not friends. I don't think I ever experienced a clingy friend phone call. "No, I just... Never mind."

"Nope! You already started saying it. You should finish it!"

"I just, he's a good friend. I just know he feels more for me and I know I don't lead him on... But I don't want him getting the impression that if you weren't in the picture he would be, you know? Because he wouldn't be. I don't like him like that at all." I nodded and took some comfort in that. "Maybe I should only hang out with him when Violets around."

"Do whatever you think is best babe. If that makes you more comfortable, I stand behind it." He nodded and nuzzles his face against me. I guess we were done with movies for now so I hugged him tightly.

"Should I go to the principle? Or administration or something about these bullies? I don't think it would do anything but make things worse since they're also picking on me outside of school..."

"Do you want to go to the cops?"

"I would need some kind of proof right?"

"I don't... Shit I don't really know." I sighed and ran my fingers through his hair. "We'll figure it out though baby, just try to rest." I kissed his forehead and he nodded as he settled back in against me.

I wanted to ask exactly what they said, but that really wouldn't make much difference. Adults weren't going to help until it was too late, so maybe I needed to do something myself?

What though? I'm so close to graduating so I'd need to do something that wouldn't ruin my life, but... I needed to protect Gage.

Maybe tomorrow I'll have a talk with my Mom if Gage doesn't mind me getting her involved.