Miserably Loving You.

"I love you."

Those three words lingered in the air, and as cliché as it sounded, it seemed as though everything froze the moment those words slipped out of Leighton's mouth.

I continued to lay there quiet, and still with wide eyes as I tried to process everything. Everything that I've dreamt of was slowly unfolding into reality and I couldn't keep up with it all.

Leighton was staring at me and I tried to open my mouth to say something, but I just couldn't.

I knew what I wanted to say. Obviously I wanted to say it back, but my stupid body just completely shut down. I knew from the very start that I was in love with Leighton.

Well, okay I thought it was a stupid crush that would eventually go away. But I just couldn't stop thinking about him. It was kind of hard though since he's my friend's brother and my neighbor. And my feelings for him just kept getting stronger. I never thought he'd feel the same way, but obviously I was wrong I guess.

"Gage?"

I blink a few times, coming out of my thoughts and back to reality. Oh shit, I still haven't replied yet.

"I-you're not just saying that are you?"

I mentally punch myself. I want to say "I love you, too", but. But is it wrong for me to be a little skeptical? I don't think Leighton would ever do or say anything to intentionally hurt me, but it was all too good to be true.

And if I'm being honest, Leighton looked hurt at my question. I instantly felt bad and wished I hadn't asked.

"Of course not, baby," he says as he sits up, pulling me up with him. "I mean it. I've wanted to tell you for a while now, but I was never sure it was the right time. I just couldn't hold it in anymore."

I bite my lip and look down at my lap. So much has happened this year: my first fight with Violet, my first kiss, my first boyfriend, first break-up, I unfortunately gained some bullies, I just received my first blow job-my cheeks heat up at that thought. It was all so overwhelming, but somehow we made it through all of the turmoil.

"Hey, baby, don't cry." I look up at Leighton and touch my wet cheeks. I hadn't even realized I had started to cry. But I wasn't sad. I'm-I'm happy. I'm just happy that despite all of the shit we went through we're finally together. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have-"

Before Leighton could say anything else I cut him off with a kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck and situated myself in his lap as I deepened the kiss.

I hoped that through this kiss I was conveying all of the feelings that I was feeling right now. After all, actions speak louder than words.

After that thought an idea came across my mind. Maybe this would be the perfect time to repay him. Maybe his declaration was the motivation I needed.

I gently pushed Leighton back without breaking the kiss. Once I pulled away I went straight for his pants. As I start to shakily pull them down he sits up slightly.

"Gage, baby, you don't have to."

I take a few breath before looking Leighton in the eyes. "I want to," I say before lightly pushing him back down.

I go back to pulling down his pants and then his underwear. I stare at him for a while-probably with a red face-before kneeling down in front of him.

I didn't know what I was doing. Maybe this was a bad idea, but I can't stop now. I'd be the worst boyfriend ever if I changed my mind now.

So, instead of backing down I take a deep breath before taking him in my mouth. Still not sure of what I was doing, I begin to slowly bob my head causing Leighton to groan. Then I begin to run my tongue down his member, because it felt amazing when he did that to me.

Leighton was making the most beautiful noises so I speeded up my pace to produce more of those noises.

After a while Leighton gasps my name and announces that he's about to come. I brace myself as he releases into my mouth.

I cringe as I swallow and wipe my mouth before lying on top of him, not bothering to pull up his pants, and burying my face in his neck.

I can't believe I just did that. That was so embarrassing.

He wraps his arms around me and runs his fingers through my hair. After a moment of silence I speak.

"By the way, Leighton."

"Hmm?

"I love you too."

We lay there for a moment, and I honestly didn't feel like moving but I wanted to stay up until midnight. So, after Leighton pulls up his pants, I drag him downstairs and we cuddle on the couch and I turn it on the New Year's countdown.

"Hey, Leighton?"

"Yeah?"

"You know I'm going to say it all time now, right?" I glance at Leighton.

He smiles. "I won't mind."

I smile and turn back to the television.

"Hey, Leighton?"

"Mhmm?"

I climb in his lap and he immediately places his hands on my hips. "I love you."

He grins at me before placing a kiss on my lips. "I love you," he says after he pulls away.

I definitely won't get tired of hearing that or saying it. I lean in to kiss him again and he pulls me closer against him as the kiss becomes more heated.

In the background I can hear them counting down but I don't pull away, not even when the voices on the TV are shouting "Happy New Year".

Finally, needing to breathe, I pull away and rest my forehead against Leighton's.

"Happy New Year," I whisper.

"Happy New Year, baby," Leighton says before pecking my lips.