Miserably Loving You.

I was finally alone, finally able to lay in my quiet house and try to sleep. Last night I didn't sleep at all and the night before I got a measly hour at best...

Eventually I know that I'm going to have to tell my mom about how bad my insomnia is getting, but for now I just don't want to be bothered by doctors.

But just as my breathing started to even itself out, my bedroom door flew open and Violet came in.

"Leighton! Gage's mom invited us over for dinner, she's making... Well I forgot what she's making but it smells really good. You in?"

I sighed inwardly and got up.

"Yeah I guess. Just... Hand me those pants over there would ya?"

She grabbed the pair of paints I was pointing too and tossed them to me before jumping up and down excitedly.

"It's been so long since you've been over there!" She giggled. "They've changed the whole house!"

"Have they now?" I asked, trying to sound interested.

"Yeah! Gage's room is no longer that creepy baby pastel blue anymore, and the house is just way more modern. It looks amazing."

"Ah, well good for them." I chuckled as she linked arms with me.

"Their pool out back is almost done with the renovations too! I think they put in like a heater or something, and solar lights! So this summer we can swim in it like we used to!"

"Or... Or I'll be in college and you crazy kids will have to do that all on your own."

Violet stopped mid-step which caused me to falter; nearly knocking the two of us over.

"Leighton, I thought you said you were just gonna work with Mom as her paralegal... You said you weren't leaving..."

"Violet," I chuckled. "I don't know what I'm going to do yet, ideally I want to work with mom, but I can't move up in her line of work if I don't go to college."

Violet rolled her eyes before shaking her head. "You're not leaving us, and that's it. You're all I have big brother, so stop with all this adult nonsense."

I laughed, knowing that she was only kidding and followed her outside and over to Gage's family's house.

It felt odd that we just walked inside without knocking but I could only imagine that this was a common thing for my sister to do.

The house actually looked really nice though, it had a modern tone to it, but was still ridiculously humble at the same time.

"Leighton!" I turned to see Gage's mom coming towards me with her arms outstretched for a hug. I gladly took the smaller middle aged woman into my arms and gave her a tight squeeze.

"Hey Mrs. Callaghan." I said as we both let go.

"Oh Leighton, you know you can call me Colleen, you are a man now you know."

"Yeah but it just feels weird." I said honestly. "I've known you since I was in diapers pretty much, no time for change now!"

She laughed in response before patting my arm and walking away.

"Leighton come on!" Violet whined. "Come pick a movie with me, Gage is being a princess and is taking forever in his room."

"Oh..." I said as I made my way over to her. "Do they dress for dinner now?"

Violet shot me a weird confused look before her face lit up as if she had some sort of epiphany.

"No they don't..." She said, her face now back to normal. I swear, she's the hardest person to keep up with facially.

"Sorry Vi- oh Leighton! I didn't think Violet would of been, uh, able to... Get you away from your game." I turned my head to see Gage in a completely different outfit than the one he was wearing at school. This one kind of looked like something you'd see one of those punk kids that use the term YOLO wearing. You know, top matching the shoes which also match some accessory on them as well? Yeah that kind of described his outfit, but he looked nice and not douchey so I guess there's that.

"He was trying to sleep when I got there, but it's fine! Just pick a movie, Leighton's no help! He hasn't said a single thing since he sat down."

"I'm sorry, there's like nine thousand things going on at once." I sighed.

"Wait... You were trying to sleep?" I turned back to Gage and nodded.

"He's always trying to sleep." Violet groaned. "So don't worry about it! Just pick a damn movie!"

Gage held his hand up to quiet Violet before looking at me in almost a stern way.

"When was the last time you slept?" He asked, and the longer it took me to respond, the more worried he looked.

"I really don't know. I mean I get an hour or two every now and then."

"Have you slept for more than four in the last month?" He asked before sitting down beside me.

"No, I don't think so."

"Leighton, that's not good..." He said, his voice laced with a tinge of sadness.

"It's all good." I yawned, the talk of sleep now making the exhaustion I've been trying to repress seep through.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Violet groaned again. "We're just watching "The Hangover" again."

Gage shot me one last worried look before dropping the subject all together.

We all sat quietly and watched the now way over played movie until dinner was done; and honestly I'm really glad I came over because dinner smells fucking delicious.

I had initially planned on helping set the table or at least doing something, but everything was already in place by the time we all got in to the dinning room.

What was even better was that the food actually tasted as good as it smelled. For once nothing was burnt or raw... God bless my poor mother for trying, but like I've said before, she does not have a place in the kitchen.

"So Leighton," I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of Gage's dad's voice. "Your senior year, huh?"

"Yeah, it sure is." I said, after swallowing the food in my mouth.

"How's it treating you?"

"Some days are better than others."

He laughed and nodded, apparently understanding exactly what I was saying.

"Any special people in your life?" The question took me by complete surprise, but he asked it in such a nonchalant way that it didn't bother me in the least.

"Dad!" Gage snapped.

"Oh! Is that a touchy subject?" He asked, now sounding worried as if he offended me.

"Dad just stop!" Gage groaned.

"Oh!" He leaned over towards me and hushed his voice as he said. "If you're gay, you're accepted here, I promise."

I turned and looked at poor Gage whose face was bright red, and I'm not really sure why he quieted his voice, but I just assumed that this was a suburban white dad thing to do when they try to connect with you.

"Gavin, leave the poor boy alone." Mrs. Callaghan scolded playfully.

"What?! I'm just curious! He should know that we're a very accepting family! I mean, Gage is clearly gay and that didn't change anything for us!"

"Uh... Can I just answer him?" I asked, finally speaking up before my sexual orientation destroyed a family. "I don't really have an orientation, I kind of just like what I like when I like it."

"Oh really?" Mr. Callaghan asked. "Now I like that, no limitations, just living by the edge of your seat!"

"More like living by the middle of your bed." Violet snickered but really only received a dirty look from Gage.

I wonder if he had sleeping problems too and that's why he was being so defensive over me...

"Really I'm just too lazy to put much thought into caring about someone's genitals. I'd rather just go by how someone makes me feel and how little they irritate me."

"Fascinating." Mr. Callaghan said as he sat back in his seat. "Now tell me-"

"Dad, stop trying to psychoanalyze him." Gage mumbled, interrupting his dad before he could ask me any more invasive questions.

"Gavin, that's enough. You're going to scare Leighton away!" I looked over at Mrs. Callaghan and smiled before shrugging.

"It's really no big deal." I admitted, but she just wasn't having any of it.

"Nonsense." She laughed. "That's none of his business. Now come on Gavin, help me clear the table."

"Awh, come on! They were all innocent questions!"

But before I could see how the argument ended, Violet and Gage were dragging me out of the room.

Which kind of made me sad, it actually felt like I was part of a whole normal functioning family again, but oh well. I wasn't, and there was really no use in pretending.

"So what are we going to do now?" Violet asked, looking between Gage and I for an answer.

"I think I'm going to go try to sleep again." I said through a yawn which earned me sad looks from both of the people next to me.

"God you're such a wet blanket." Violet griped loudly.

"Leave him alone." Gage sighed.

"Yeah listen to him." I laughed before nudging Gage. "If I sleep tonight I promise we'll all go out tomorrow or something, so just... Let me try?"

Violet weighed the "option" and clearly found my offer to be more appealing.

"Alright, well go do it now then! I'll just stay here tonight so nothing interrupts you!"

I laughed at her new found excitement, and shouted out thanks to Gage's parents before turning and leaving.

As I reached the front porch, someone grabbed my arm and stopped me. I half expected it to be Violet trying to get in one last word before she released me, but it was Gage instead.

He pulled his hand back quickly once he noticed he had my attention and looked as if he were about to throw up... Was I really that intimidating?

"Uhm, I just- uh, wanted to apologize for my parents..."

"Gage, it's fine." I chuckled. "It really didn't bother me."

"Yeah? Well... Okay, uhm... I hope you can sleep, and if you ever uhm, want, you can actually talk to my dad. He could probably get you a prescription for sleeping medication."

"Shit I didn't even think about that." I said, remembering now that his Dad was actually a therapist of some sort.

"Yeah so... Just keep him in mind okay?"

"Will do, thanks Gage." I smiled at him briefly before we both turned and went our own way.

It was nice to think that this struggle I've been having might have an easier solution than I had originally thought.

But for now, I just had to try sleeping the old fashioned way.