Miserably Loving You.

As I made my way back into the living room I couldn't help but to continue to worry about Leighton. His sleeping patterns were definitely not okay. He wasn't getting enough sleep and I just couldn't help but worry about his well-being. I just hope that he is able to get a good sleep tonight.

When I'm back in the living room I join Violet--who is aimlessly flipping through channels--on the floor. A few minutes later my parents join us taking the couch and Violet had finally stopped on a channel. I wasn't familiar with the show that was playing, but I wasn't really paying attention to it and frankly I didn't really care. I had more important things on my mind.

"Gavin, stop," I heard my mom giggle and wait...what the heck?

I blink a couple of times coming out of my thoughts and turn around to face my parents with wide eyes. My mom was practically in my dad's lap and my dad had his arms wrapped around her and he was kissing her neck. Seriously though can they not do that in the open?

"Ugh, can you guys not?" I groan covering my eyes with my arm.

But they don't seem to hear me or maybe they're just ignoring me because they're still going at it. After all my dad lives to embarrass me.

I turn to look at Violet hoping she wasn't paying attention to my parents, but she was staring at them with an unreadable expression on her face. It was kind of weird because her brother is usually the one wearing an indecipherable mask. But in this moment I could not tell what was going on in that head of hers. I sigh before grabbing Violet's wrist and dragging her upstairs to my room.

I shut the door behind us and drop heavily onto my bed. "Ugh, that was so gross. My parents are so embarrassing," I whine.

When I get no witty remark from Violet I sit up to look at her. She's just standing there with that unreadable expression on her face.

"Violet?" I say slowly. "Are you okay? Oh no, did my parent traumatize you? I'm so sorry. I don't know why they thought it was okay to do that in front of us."

Still no response. I begin to worry and for a second I contemplate phoning Leighton to ask for his help, but I quickly opted that out. I didn't want to bother him. He needed to get some sleep.

"Violet?" I try again. Still nothing.

It was rare for Violet to act like this. She was usually pretty blunt, always speaking her mind. Never this quiet. Honestly I think she's only acted weird about her parents' divorcing. Oh. I frown as I suddenly realize that maybe my parents acting so...in love, I guess, didn't bother her but the fact that her parents weren't in love anymore.

"Violet," I say softly.

I was about to say more when she suddenly shakes her head and gives me a grin before joining me on my bed like she wasn't just standing there with a blank expression on her face moments prior. I didn't press the issue because I know how sensitive the subject is to her and she'll talk when she's ready, right?

I let out a sigh and lay back putting my hands behind my head and stare up at the white ceiling. The only thing that wasn't painted purple.

"So, you looked really nice at dinner," Violet says suddenly.

I look over at her and she's staring down at me with a smirk on her lips. "Uhm...thanks?"

"Was there a special occasion I was not aware of?" she asks.

"Huh? N-no. Can't I just change into something else if I want to?"

Violet laughs and shrugs her shoulders before laying down beside me. "What're you getting all defensive for?"

"I'm not!" I huff.

"Okay," she laughs and thankfully went quiet. "So, has anyone caught your eye lately?" she asks suddenly, just when I thought she was done with the interrogation.

"Huh?"

I could feel Violet rolling her eyes. Well, not really but I just knew her well enough to know that she was rolling her eyes at me. "Is there any guy that you're currently pining for?" she elaborated.

"Oh, no..."

"Really? No one?"

"Nope."

"Not even the kid from French class?"

I turn to look at Violet with a raised eyebrow. After that first day I still haven't really talked to the kid. I think he doesn't like Violet very much which apparently includes me too since Violet is my best friend, not that he knew that but we did sit next to each other and talk all the time. I did learn that his name is Elliot though. He's really not bad looking, but he's also not Leighton.

"Uhm, he's not bad looking, but no. Not even him," I answer after a minute.

"Hmm....interesting," Violet mused.

I stare at her for a while wondering what was going through her mind right now. Did she suspect something? Did she find out about my little crush on her brother? Was I that obvious? I was being awfully defensive over him tonight, but Violet was being insensitive about his sleeping patterns. Or...Or maybe I took to long to give her a response and she thinks I have some sort of crush on the kid in French class.

"Uhm, I really don't like the kid from French class," I say softly. Violet just laughs in response. I just hope she believes me. "Um, what about you?" I ask after a minute.

She lets out an exaggerated groan. "All of the hot guys are either jerks or gay!"

I laugh and look back up at the ceiling. I beg to differ. Leighton was neither a jerk nor gay. Well during dinner he did say that he had no preference when it came to gender, but still, he'd never go for me.

"Or famous and they don't even know or care about your existence," I add thoughtfully.

"Wow, thanks, Gage, that makes me feel really great," Violet says sarcastically as she punches me in the shoulder. I hold onto the shoulder she punched me in and begin laughing. Which only made Violet glare at me. "I'm glad you find my misfortune funny," she says shoving me off the bed.

I only begin laughing harder and Violet huffs and stands up "Whatever. I'm gonna go take a shower," she says before grabbing some clothes from one of my drawers and exiting the room.

Once I am able to compose myself, I get up from the floor and slip on a t-shirt and some shorts before putting on my favorite Disney movie, The Fox and the Hound, and making myself comfortable in bed while I waited for Violet to return.

When Violet came back into the room the movie was nearly over with and I was too absorbed in it to acknowledge her presence. She came and silently sat next to me on the bed, the scent of strawberries filling my nostrils. We sat quietly until the movie ended.

"Hey, Gagey, do you have fingernail polish?" Violet asks as the credits begin to roll.

I narrow my eyes at her as I stretch. "What'd I tell you about "Gagey"? I huff as I take the movie out and switch it to Friends, one of my favorite shows. "And why the heck would I have fingernail polish?"

Violet gives me a pointed stare. "Because you're gay, duh!"

"Well, that's a very logical reasoning," I say rolling my eyes.

"Seriously though, I wanna polish my nails." She whines holding her hands up and wiggling her fingers.

"The fact that you want to polish your nails won't make me magically own nail polish," I sigh. "But anyways I don't own any nail polish, but I believe you left some over here once." I walk over to the dresser and pull out a small bag from the top drawer and hand it to Violet.

"Or is that what you're just telling people? You're already gay so it doesn't matter if you like to polish your nails." She says with a grin as she takes the bag and takes a seat in my desk chair. She takes the polishes out of the bag and line them up on top of the desk. "What color should I paint them?"

"Uhm, do you have a turquoise?" I ask as I sit on my bed grabbing one of the teddy bears I keep on the bed and hugging it to my chest.

"Hmmm...no, but I have a teal, a bright red, light pink, black, a glittery gray, and a really ugly green," she says. "Ew, why do I even own this?"

"You have boring colors," I sigh.

"You mean you have boring colors," Violet laughs as I glare at her. "Just pick a color!"

"Fine,teal."

"Kay!"

It's quiet except for the episode of Friends playing in the background and Violet humming softly as she polished her nails. This quietness left room for me to be lost in my own thoughts. And when I start thinking about things I usually start thinking about a certain person.

Sighing, I get up from the bed and grab my laptop from my desk and then take my seat back on the bed.

"Hey, can you put on some music?"

"Mhmm." I turn the TV off and once my computer is started up I open up iTunes and put it on shuffle and turned the sound at a decent volume so we wouldn't wake my parents or anyone else. Then I start playing otome games, because I'm secretly kinda obsessed with them.

"Gagey, do you want your nails polished?" Violet asks a some time later.

I look up at her with narrowed eyes. "If you call me Gagey one more time..."

"What?" Violet laughs. "You're gonna beat me up or something?" Then she's laughing some more and I throw a pillow at her which stops her for a second. "Seriously though Gage, you want me to polish your nails?"

"No."

"Aw, why not? You'd look really cute with your nails polished. I think pink would look good on you!"

"No, I don't want my nails polished."

"I can just do your toes than!"

"Violet!" I whined.

"Fine!" She pouted. "What're you doing anyways?" she asks as she sits next to me on the bed.

"Nothing," I say as I close out of the game I was playing.

"Are you looking at porn, Gage?"

"No!" I shriek as my cheeks flush.

"You did close out of that window pretty fast," Violet commented.

"I was playing a game," I grumble.

"Hmm, was it inappropriate?"

"No!"

Violet just laughs and takes the computer out of my lap. I buried my face in the bear next to me as Violet browsed around on the computer and sung along to just about every song that came on.

"Oh my god, Gage, look at this!" Violet suddenly gasps.

I sit up to look at the computer's screen to see a very toned shirtless guy with long brown hair and pants that were hanging a bit to low.

"Really?" I say as I look at Violet.

"He's hot," she says simply.

I shrug in response but watch as she scrolls through endless pages of guys on one of those Tumblr blogs. I have to admit that some of the guys were pretty good looking, but none of them compared to Leighton. Ugh, I was so hooked on him. It was really bad especially since he'd never like me back.

"Too bad none of them exist."

I raise my eyebrow and look at Violet who's too busy scrolling through the pictures. "They do exist," I say slowly.

Violet shakes her head, her eyes still fixed on the screen. "They're just a figment of our imagination."

I snort and look back at the screen. I know it's weird but I felt like I was betraying Leighton or something by looking at these pictures. I mean I wasn't gawking at them like Violet clearly was and Leighton and I obviously weren't together and never will be, so I shouldn't feel guilty. But I did.

Sighing, I laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. "Violet?" I say after a moment of silence.

"Yes?"

I bit my lip, starting to second guess myself. Maybe I shouldn't ask her. I think she already suspects something anyways and this will only heighten her suspensions.

"Gage?"

I look up to see Violet staring at me with a concerned look on her face and I instantly begin to blush. I'm probably making a big deal out of nothing, so I'll just ask.

"Is Leighton going off to college?" I ask as I sit up.

Violet rolls her eyes. "Is that seriously all you were going to ask?"

I bit my lip again and shrug. She lets out a sigh before turning back to the computer and for a second I thought she was just going to ignore my question.

"He was going to work with our mom, but we were talking about this earlier and he mentioned something about going to college. But he's still sorta undecided," she finally answered.

I didn't say anything. I really hope that he stays, but that's really selfish of me.

"Fuck, this guy is my new husband!" Violet exclaims.

I look at the screen curiously to see a guy with really pretty eyes (nothing compared to Leghton's of course) that were blue, his hair was dark and of course he was shirtless and he had a couple of tattoos and a nose piercing and he was tanned. He was okay looking.

"Who was your first husband?" I laugh.

"Jensen Ackles, duh!"

"Nope, he's mine. Remember how you were going on and on about Misha Collins and dubbed him as yours and I claimed Jensen? Besides, didn't you just say that you found a new husband?"

"Psh, They're all mine."

"You can't have all three of them!"

Violet laughs. "You can have Jared."

"But I don't like him," I pout.

We continued our little argument about who had dibs on Jensen Ackles and scrolled through numerous blogs of hot guys and rated them. I never rated any of them above ten for obvious reasons that included Leighton being way hotter than any of these guys. After a while we put my computer up and turned it on another one of my favorite Disney movies, Bambi and got comfortable.

~~~~~~~~

"Ugh, what time is it?"

I groaned when Violet starts moving and try to pull the cover over my face when I notice that I wasn't even under the cover.

"Violet," I groan just as I hear an amused voice say, "It's nearly two."

A very recognizable voice...My eyes shot open when I realize that it's Leighton's voice. Leighton's in my room. Leighton is in my room. Has he ever even been in my room before? I honestly can't remember. This is so embarrassing. Why is he in my room?

I rub my eyes before turning over. Violet was sitting up, her hair all over the place. And Leighton was standing next to the bed.

"I can't believe we slept this late," Violet groaned. "Normally I wouldn't mind, but you're supposed to take us somewhere!"

"There's always next time," Leighton chuckles.

"But I wanted to go somewhere today," Violet pouted and then she turns to me. "What time did we even go to sleep?"

I shrug. "S-sorry for sleeping so late. I wasn't paying attention to the time and then Violet wanted to polish her nails and I..sorry," I say to Leighton. I look up at him and then look back down.

"It's no big deal, I'll take you kids somewhere another time."

I just nod in response.

"Hey, don't go blaming this on me!" Violet says. "You're the one who was playing some weird, inappropriate game, and looking at pictures of shirtless guys!"

My eyes widened and I looked at Violet who was smirking at me. "What? I-I-what?"

Violet starts laughing and I feel my cheeks heating up. I don't even glance over at Leighton as I get out of the bed and hurry out of the room. I go into the bathroom and slam the door behind me. I slide down the door and bury my face in my hands. I know I'm probably overreacting, because Leighton's so nonchalant about everything he probably didn't even care. Of course he didn't care, why would he? But I care. I care about what he thinks of me and now he probably just thinks I'm his little sister's weird little friend who plays inappropriate games and looks at porn or something. Thanks a lot, Violet.

After a while of just sitting there and thinking, I realize that I had started crying. Wow, how pathetic. I was crying over something that was most likely trivial to Leighton. Honestly, it's not that serious is it? Why am I crying? I laugh humorlessly and wipe at my eyes before standing up and looking at my reflection in the mirror. I let out a sigh and contemplate hiding out in here for the rest of the day.