A New Beginning

What a Mistake

For the next hour and a half I just sat in Jimmy’s room thinking. Had I done the right thing by caving in so soon? I always knew that at some point I would forgive him, but never this quickly. My thoughts also went back to the ones of the previous night. I loved Jimmy. It was a curse and a blessing in my eyes. In all my life, I had always wanted to experience the feeling that comes over you when you watch a certain person walk in the room, the shiver that travels through your body when he touches you, and the dreams of being together forever. But the person that was afflicting these emotions on me was Jimmy, someone who I could never completely have. Jimmy had told me that he wasn’t ready to give up on us. What was on my inside did not match what was on the outside. I seemed like a confident, young woman about to start the best years of her life. On the other hand, I was tremendously timid and took every little thing to heart. My thought had always been that even when people say they don’t mean something they say, they still put some thought into saying it. This is what bothered me. This is why I usually chose to take everything personally. It was a way to defend and protect myself I guess. There was no way I could protect myself now, it was too late. Living here with my brother, I will have to grow a tougher shell. The soft carpet met my feet as I stood up from his bed. The pain I had felt earlier from my fall was no longer there.

As I walked over to the door, I stopped at the mirror to look at my reflection. After wiping a stray eyelash off my cheek, I really began to take my appearance in. How Jimmy ever found me attractive was beyond me. Sometimes I thought that if you put a wig on Johnny we’d be twins. My face was a much more feminine version then that of my brother’s. I had a petite nose that helped to brought out my graceful cheekbones. My thin lips were something I never liked, but injections were out of the question. I’ve always been told that I had square shoulders, but I still couldn’t see what they were talking about. Giggling to myself as I stared at my chest, memories flooded back to me when I first “bloomed”. Lexi was angry that I had developed before her, and boy, did I develop. They weren’t huge, but when your stading barely five foot, anything can look bigger than it really is. The rest of my body was fine and I never suffered from body issues at all. In the past, I never paid attention to my ass, but when Jimmy started grabbing it at every opportunity because he said he loved it, I took notice. I changed my mind about going downstairs right then and opted for a clothing change. A pair of baggy sweat pants and an oversized hoodie replaced my previous outfit. I couldn’t let Jimmy have his cake and eat it too. This would hide my body perfectly.

Halfway down the stairs I heard the voices of the rest of the band in the living room and quickened my pace. Confusion set in as I stared at the scene before me. They were seated throughout the room but Jimmy stood in the middle. His eyes greeted mine and doubled in size. Horrible flashbacks from last night filled my head, but I shook them away and took a seat at the island so that I could watch.

“Hey, Jimmy, continue with what you were saying about the mistake you made last night.”

It was now my turn to stare wide eyed at him. Was he seriously going to do this? What is that guy thinking?

“Ok,” Jimmy began with a slight pause, “so last night I had an accident at the bar. One that involved a woman.”

“Accident? That was pure luck my man!” Zacky encouraged.

“Whatever.” Jimmy mumbled. “I never meant that to happen and I never wanted it. The thing is, I hurt someone very dear to me. I guess you could say it was this girl that I’ve been seeing. So, to make it up to her and win her back, I’m making our relationship known.”

My heart stopped as I heard this. Someone in this room was going to die. It was either going to be Jimmy or me. I shook my head violently trying to tell Jimmy to stop, but he ignored me. He planned on going through with this.

“Well, who is this secret girl? I really want to meet her.” Johnny said eagerly.

A smirk appeared on Jimmy’s lips. “Well guys, a little more than a week ago, I became involved with Layla.”

A collective silence filled the room. Slowly, all the heads turned around and stared at me. My life was officially over. I peeked at Johnny to see that he had gone crazy. He was shaking like a little chihuahua and he would keep looking between Jimmy and me in disbelief. I stood up and made my way over to Johnny with caution. I never got my chance before he got up and stood in front of Jimmy. We watched as Johnny gazed dumbfounded at him. Jimmy chuckled nervously, not knowing how to react to his friend. No one had said anything yet and the tension was unbearable.

“Johnny?” I said ending the silence.

I’m not sure if it was the sound of a voice or what, but he just snapped. In two seconds flat Johnny had Jimmy pinned to the floor choking him. The guys rushed, and even struggled, to pull him off Jimmy. When the managed to drag Johnny off a barely breathing Jimmy, I ran over to Jimmy to help him. His blue eyes shone so bright against his purple skin. He was gasping for breath at this point so I loosened his cut off tie he wore around his neck. As his began to gain his composure again, I sat him up and glanced over at the others. They were having a hard time keeping him down and from running back at Jimmy.

“Guys, take off your belts and wrap them around his arms, thighs, and legs. Make sure they’re tight!” I ordered.

While Matt and Zacky held him in place, Brian removed the three belts that were around his waist and went to putting them in the key areas. Why anyone would need that many belts at once was stupid in my eyes. Brian gave them all a secure tug and told them to lay him on the couch. They counted to three and released their hands as if it was a bomb. Johnny was strapped down good, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t shout the threats he had.

“You’re a dead man Sullivan, you hear me? A motherfucking dead man!” he roared.

His sudden change in mood scared me and I unintentionally moved closer to Jimmy for comfort. My brother had lost it. Whenever he screamed foaming spit would fly from his lips and his eyes were glowing darkly.

“How dare you do that to my sister! You betrayed both of our trusts. You’re nothing but a piece of shit!” he continued to scream. “I never want to see you with her ever. She is the only sibling I have and I will not see her with a rat bastard like you. Layla, get away from him now.”

I didn’t move only because I was so stunned. This should not have been happening right now. Jimmy made a huge mistake by announcing what we had to the guys. I do not know how that was ever going to win my heart back.

“Layla, as your legal guardian, you will do as I say. I might have been drunk last night, but I remember seeing the tears run down your cheeks. You thought no one could here you cry in your sleep, but I heard through the bathroom door. He hurt you, and trust me, he will do it again. Layla, step away from him and take a good long look at him, because you guys will never be this close to each other again.” He said with less anger, but still with some force.

I took my arm from Jimmy and stood up quietly. I was hurt, but not by Jimmy. Johnny’s reaction cut me to the core and I was stunned. Jimmy and I could never even be friends after this, so it was stupid to expect that we would ever get back together. A strong desire to look at Jimmy filled me, so I let it consume me as I glanced at Jimmy. Sadness filled his eyes just like last night. I could see his heart breaking as it was written all over his face. Please, if there is a God, let Jimmy be able to read minds. I thought about all the fun times we would never have but the one thing that I continued to think over everything else, was that I loved him. He had to prove himself though. I needed to know that he wanted me and that I
was willing to wait for that moment. As if a miracle occurred, Jimmy gave me a slight nod and got to his feet. Without a word he walked out of the house leaving everyone with a whole lot of questions that only I could answer now.
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