Like the Moon

We were together, all three of us, because she couldn’t choose. She wanted both of us and she had no problem admitting it. We were waiting for her to choose one of us, but when she finally made her choice, Adam died in an accident with his bike. It was raining and there was oil on the road. He was drunk and didn’t manage to slow down his speed.

I always hated Adam because he had a part of her too. I wanted her to be mine and mine alone. Crystal was the only girl who ever completed me, but it wasn’t the same for her. She was going to tell him that she was in love with him, yet he went ahead and died. Stupid asshole!

Then I had her broken heart in my hands, but there was no saving her. I was jealous of him, envious; for being able to stay in her heart even after he died. She was with me, yet she wasn’t. She was like the moon, a part of her was always missing and I knew damn well I’d never be able to fill the void in her heart if she didn’t want to move on. I never told her to forget him; that would have been unfair.

I was with her. I started living with her, sleeping with her, eating with her. We were doing everything together as a couple, but her heart was never in this, and it was killing me. Especially when she called his name in her dreams, that was our breaking point. We broke up because the glass had already shattered and there was nothing that could glue the pieces back together at that time.

It had been two years since I last saw her, yet there had never been a day when I stopped thinking about her. Her dark brown hair and eyes, her soft skin, and the smile that used to hug her face when he was still alive. Two fucking years and all I did was playing the song Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys on repeat every single night just because it reminded me of her.

The lyrics were a perfect match with how I felt. I was too busy being in love with her to fall for another girl so when I saw her again, the first thing I did was to rub my eyes because I thought I was dreaming, or even better, dying. She was staring back at me; standing in the road.

I ran towards her not thinking of anything else than the fact that she stood just a few steps away from me. My hands went around her back hugging her tight, bringing her close to my chest. I sniffed her shampoo, smelled like oranges, same as always. I felt my heart beating loudly like it was the end of the world as she hugged me back and buried her head into my chest.

‘’I missed you so fucking much.’’ I managed to get out and soon I heard her saying, ‘’I missed you too, Deacon.’’

I put my hands around her waist and she pulled her head back so she could look into my dark eyes clouded with nothing, but love. I stared into her eyes as I smiled. I was so fucking happy to be able to see her again and touch her that my heart was dancing around inside my chest. She was too thin, but the color was back on her cheeks and she seemed to be living her life again. There was nothing more in this world that could have made me happier than that.

‘’I was about to go to your university and fetch you. I think it’s time we sit and talk,’’ she said to me. Her voice sounded serious yet calm and it made me wonder about what we were going to talk about. We hadn’t seen each other for two years even though we knew things about each other thanks to our mutual friends.

‘’My house?’’ I asked and she nodded her head. As we walked towards my house, our hands were entwined; making me think of old times. She told me she was finally good. She had managed to think of Adam as an ex-boyfriend and cherish the memories they had together. The reason she came to find me was because…

‘’I think we deserve a second chance if you are still single,’’ she muttered with her eyes looking at her hands that were on her lap, playing around nervously. She was sitting across the table inside the living room of my house and she seemed to belong here with me. I wanted her to belong here with me.

‘’There was never another girl. It was always just you.’’