Misplaced Words

The rain is falling down hard and I pull my shawl closer to my body. The lighting rips through the sky and a few moments later thunder follows. I know I should be inside with the others, thinking of ways to help Vic but I can't look at him like that. I stop walking when I am standing at the edge of the small wooden stage Zac built. I head up the steps and sit with my feet dangling from edge. I place my shawl on the stage and let the rain that falls from between the trees hit me. I am crying freely here, the only place that I feel I have a right to any grief. I bite my lip hard and tears slip in constant flow down my face, in such a steady stream it was almost soothing.

I see her eyes glassed over when I close my eyes. I can still hear Ally’s screams as she tries to shake her awake. I can see everyone in a panic. I can hear Vic screaming in pain as Kellin holds him tight against his chest. I can see the blood all over Vic’s shirt and Ally’s too; they were the closest to her. Ally was next to her and Vic across from her. The three best friends with their unspoken love triangle left broken, with two left to pick up the pieces. No matter how hard I try I can’t get Naomi’s dead eyes out of my head. I feel like they are always watching me, accusing me for not remembering what the guy looked like. I was the only one who saw him when he walked in, the only one who glanced his way. Now he is still out there, and still after Ally.

The police’s theory was he was there to finish Ally off, to end what he started but since Naomi had her head on Ally’s shoulder she was hit instead. Ally may never forgive herself, Vic may never recover. None of us will ever be the same. When we all get silent at the same time I know why, we are all thinking about her. Her laugh, her crazy nicknames, the way she cooked, how she made Vic smile, how she balanced Ally out. I can still remember the day of placement exams, which seems like a lifetime ago, how she helped me to get composed when I almost had a full on panic attack. I was so nervous for those tests, I felt unprepared even though we had all studied. She found me in the girl’s bathroom and kept telling me dumb jokes until I laughed. Then she reminded me I was the top of my department, called me an acting genius then skipped away to her cooking placements. She had gotten the top score; she was supposed to spend her summer with Chef Ramsay appearing on TV and making her dreams come true. She was robbed of that, and Vic was robbed of his fiancé. The night after he proposed, she was murdered.

I shudder and realize that I am soaked to the bone. I grab my equally wet shawl and start to head back. At the edges of the woods I find Vic with a bottle of whiskey in his hand and tears in his eyes. I walk up to him, take the bottle from him gently and grab his hand. He sways slightly at my side, crying the whole way to my apartment.