A Shot From the Darkness

"You know I love you right?" I asked, turning toward Seth.

"Of course, now let's get going, it's gonna rain," he said, grabbing my hand and pulling me down the street.

"What's the rush?" I asked, dreamily, as rain drops began to fall.

"Um, that?" Seth said, looking up.

"Don't be stupid," I said, stretching my arms out on either side of me, tilting my head up toward the sky, and spinning in a circle.

"Oh yeah, I'm the one being stupid," Seth said sarcastically.

I ignored him, enjoying the rain too much to get wrapped up in his stupid comments.

"Come on Ri," Seth whined, "you're gonna get soaked."

I ignored him again, grabbing his hand and pulling him to spin with me. He pulled me close and whispered, "Riley, if we stay out here much longer we're gonna get sick."

I nodded and pressed my lips against his. We stayed like that, with the world moving in slow motion for a few minutes. When we finally pulled away, he smiled at me, "Now I know why people like kissing in the rain."

I just nodded again and pulled him into another, loving kiss. I pulled away from him and we ran home, screaming, and jumping in puddles. When we got to my house I went and got some of my brother's clothes, gave them to him and went into my room to change. When I was done changing I walked downstairs to the living room, where Seth was sitting with no shirt on.

"And where is that shirt I gave you mister?" I asked, in a mock scolding voice.

"It didn't fit," he said, calmly, without looking at me.

"Well you'll be happy to know, we match," I said.

The second I said that, he whipped his head around to face me.

"I'm wearing a shirt, stupid," I laughed at the disappointed look on his face, "I meant the belly button ring. I have one too."

I walked over to him and sat on his lap. He kissed me and I turned on the TV.

"Am I that bad, you need to turn on the TV while we're kissing," Seth joked.

"If my mom and dad come home and I'm on your lap, kissing you, and you have no shirt on, we'll be in big trouble. We need to do something else," I explained.

"Or go somewhere else," he offered.

"I think not," I said, hitting Seth playfully, and climbing off his lap to sit next to him on the couch.

We watched TV for a few hours until Seth had to go home.

The next day was Saturday and I had a date with Seth, he wouldn't tell me where we were going but he said to dress in something nice but easy to move and walk in. I put on a pair of light wash jeans, a scarlet red corset top with flowing long sleeves, and a pair of three inch tall, black leather, platform boots. My eyes had dark red eye shadow and a line of black eyeliner. I added some bright red lipstick and was ready to go. I tucked my wavy, dark brown hair behind one ear, and smiled. I was so excited for my mystery date tonight. I heard a knock on the door and ran to open it. There he stood, Seth in all his gorgeousness. I smiled and grabbed my purse as he linked his arm through mine. The car ride was pretty quiet; Seth parked outside somewhere I didn't recognize. He helped me out of the car and put a blind fold over my eyes.

"Seth? Where are you taking me?" I asked, excitedly.

"You'll see," he said, mysteriously.

We walked for a while, Seth guiding me to wherever we were going. When we finally got there, Seth took off my blindfold and I gasped. We were in a field on top of a cliff, overlooking the city. There was a blanket laid out on the ground and a beautiful candle lit dinner set up.

"Oh my gosh, Seth!" I gaped, "did you do all this for me?"

"Of course," he smiled at my approval.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, "It's perfect."

He walked me over to the blanket and we ate and talked. I have the most amazing boyfriend ever! I thought to myself. How did I ever get this lucky?

"So how did you know?" I asked, looking at Seth.

He smiled innocently, "know what?"

"My spot," I clarified.

"I used to see you up here, you were always so peaceful, so I thought there must be something to it," he smiled.

I hugged him and said, "You don't know the half of it."

He smiled, glad that I was happy.

I thought there, thinking about the times I'd spent up here.

"Riley, come back!" My friends called, racing up the hill after me.

They were running and screaming until they noticed I'd stopped dead in my tracks.

"Wow," the whisper that escaped my lips was barely audible.

I watched the cars move and listened to the trees rustle in the wind. It was so surreal. So amazing.

I had stayed up there for hours until my friends got worried and went to get my mom and dad.

The wonderment I felt when I first found this place, only six but so amazed.

I ran as fast as my feet could carry me. Maybe I could outrun the world. Maybe I could run back in time. Maybe I could run fast enough to get to where she was. But I finally reached the place I didn't even know I'd been running for.

I sat in place at the top of the cliff, crying as I felt my world collapse around me.

She was gone, she was really gone. It couldn't be. She couldn't be gone. Mommies don't just leave forever.

But she was gone. My mom had died when I was eight.

I was fifteen. I sat on my cliff, overlooking the rushing city. I wanted to just relax and become one with it all. I watched a bird swoop down over the cliff and into the vast valley below, and wished I could fly. Wouldn't it be amazing just to jump? To feel the rushing wind through my hair ass I flew towards the city, only to pull up at the last second and go fly straight ahead, so low to the ground i could almost feel the grass on my wings?

But I quickly snapped out of it at the sound of rustling in the bushes behind me. I turned and saw what looked to be the shadow of a boy, so I got up and left. I didn't need some stupid boy ruining my spot for me.

I guess it was Seth I saw. I thought, reveling in the sweetness of his actions.

"Seth," I said, staring out at the city lights, "do you think it'd be fun to jump off? To just fly?"

"I guess," Seth said, sounding a little worried, "But don't do it. I want you to live. I want you to be happy."

I nodded, "I won't do it. If I did I wouldn't have you."

We sat in silence for a few more hours. When he drove me home I almost cried, because I didn't want the night to end.

The next week, me and Seth were walking through the city, at night, We had just seen a movie, and we had decided to walk instead of drive. Seth wanted to take a short cut to his house. I was a little hesitant because it went through some of the rougher parts of the city, but Seth assured me it would be fine. We walked down an alley, holding hands.

Just this alley and two more blocks and then we're there. I thought, over and over again.

Just as we were exiting the alley, two guys stepped out of nowhere. They smirked at me and Seth held me protectively.

One of the guys grabbed Seth and I screamed, but the other one pulled me out of the alley.

"What? Boyfriend not strong enough to protect you?" The guy who was holding me said.

"He's stronger than you. At least he doesn't need someone else to do the fighting while he baby-sits the girl," I spat.

"You little bi-" he started, but I kicked him in the shin.

I ran over to the mouth of the alley, just as I heard a gunshot. I screamed and ran into the alley, Seth was lying on the ground, bleeding, and the guy was running in the opposite direction. I knelt beside Seth and called 911, but it was too late. He had been shot just below his heart.

I felt helpless. Seth was dying and all I could do was watch and cry. I sat there next to him until a police officer pulled me away from the scene. I watched as they rolled Seth's body out on a gurney, zipping up the body bag as they rolled him past. The rest of the night was a blur of tears, strangers, and words like murder and gunshot wound.

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It's been three weeks since Seth died. Every night I go up to the cliff above the city and watch the cars race past, thinking about that night with Seth when everything was perfect and it felt like nothing could go wrong. Every time I'm up here I think about jumping, but Seth's voice just plays in my head. 'Don't do it', 'I want you to live', 'I want you to be happy.' But today, the last part and what I said were the only things I could hear, echoing through my head. Be happy. I won't do it, if I did I wouldn't have you.

So here goes nothing I'm jumping this time. I don't know if I'll see Seth. I don't know what will happen, but when all you can think about is your dead boyfriend and how peaceful it would be to jump off a cliff, you have to do something. So here I go, into the bright lights of the buzzing city, soon I'll be able to fly.