Dreaming a Dream

I've watched him from afar , his eyes glistening in the sun.
He doesn't know me , and he never will. I'm a lurker in the background searching for ones to kill.
My world doesn't fit in with his. He's a victim while I'm the predator.
I have no mercy for those around me , my body only goes for those with the juiciest blood.
He doesn't know how much I love him. He's scared of me - just like the others.
I'm alone in this world , it was once my sanctuary now it's my death sentence.
No one loves me , I'm a monster in this innocent world. How will I get him to see me as not a monster but his ever loving queen?

"What are you reading?" a voice behind me asked , startling me. I looked up and saw it was Brian that talked.

"Diary of the wounded killer. It's a classic"

"It sounds stupid"

I muttered an 'you're stupid' and rolled my eyes. I think this is a great short story.

I continued reading my book ignoring the man I love.

"Are you going to be a prude for the rest of the day and not come outside with the rest of us?" Brian asked , his voice menacing cold.

"I'm on my way. I'm just waiting for Kari to get me a bikini. Mine's in the wash"

"You really gonna wear a bikini? Don't you think you need a little more exercise before embarrassing me in front of my friends?"

I gasped at his words , my heart falling to my chest. "are you implying that I'm fat?"

"Well , yeah.. You're not exactly toned Tanya"

"You're a fucking jerk. You know what Brian? I've had it up to here with you. I don't know what I've done for you to be so mean to me but I am finished. We're over"

"Fine. Now I can sleep with anyone I want again. Not with a prude that doesn't want to give it up"

"Is that what it's all about? Are you mean because I don't want to sleep with you? You said you'd wait"

"I say a lot of things. I fucking lied."

"Well if you'd risk Karina hating you for the rest of your life , then so be it."

"Why would she hate me?"

"You broke her best friend's fucking heart"

"she has a lot more going on than you're fucking school girl heart break. Give it a rest manipulative bitch"

I stormed up the stairs to Kari and Matt's room.

"Tanz. Sorry I'm taking so long. I don't know where I put my other bikini"

"That's fine." I said in a small voice making Kari turn around.

"babe? What's wrong?"

"I think Brian and I are broken up"

"You think?" she asked softly , "what happened?"

I told her the whole story and I told her how he treated me for the last two weeks. Her facial expression turned from sad to angry.

"Why didn't you tell me Tanz?"

"You were sad. You're brother is dead Kar , his funeral is in two days. I didn't want to tell you. You have too much going on"

Troy's funeral got delayed because the army couldn't find his body and once they did they had to clean him up first and he had to undergo an autopsy so the funeral is in two days.

"Babe you can always come to me. Remember that okay?"

I nodded and started crying , "I wanna leave Kar.. I can't stay here anymore"

"No!! No you can't leave again..."

"Please Kar.." I whispered , "I won't go far and I will come visit a lot okay?"

Tears pooled in her eyes , she sigh and nodded , "only if you don't go back to England. You stay in America"

"I can do that. and don't hate Bri , he needs your friendship"

"How can I not hate him? But , I'll try. I promise"

"Let's go enjoy our day"

She nodded and finally pulled out her bikini that weirdly enough was in Matt's cupboard. I had to laugh at the wardrobes.

Kari's wardrobe took half the room , while Matt's cupboard was like half an inch long.

"Poor Matty. He has the smallest wardrobe ever"

"The guy only has like 4 shirts and two jeans. He and I need a serious shopping spree. Only he's too stubborn to go"

'I'm trying to imagine Matt shopping and putting on clothes in a dressing room"

"It's gonna happen. I'm not going to buy him any more clothes without him being there. Luckily I know his size"

"Probably extra , extra large"

"3 X to be exact"

Just then Matt walked in , "hey! We're about to eat. Move your asses"

I smirked at the blank look Kari gave Matt , and my smirk broadened when he started faltering

"I mean.... please? I love you?"

I had to laugh at his small voice , his confidence faltered.

"Hmm better. We're on our way. Give me a kiss"

He smiled and kissed her then he walked out. My heart fell to my stomach when I saw how happy they were.

Maybe Brian and I are not meant to be?

Anyway , Kari and I dressed in bikinis. After lunch we were going to the beach , it was a nice Saturday and the guys decided to take a break.

Or actually , Kari decided for them.

Kari wore a cute pink flow-y dress and sandals while I settled on a shirt and shorts

I glanced at my best friend , she was gorgeous. She doesn't have any makeup on now and her hair is loose without any trouble done and she still looks amazing.

No wonder Matt does his best to keep her. I glanced at myself in the mirror and I see why Brian doesn't want anything to do with me anymore.

"You ready? I packed a bag. In there is magazines , suntan lotion , towels and chips because the guys are always hungry."

I smiled , "can I put my towel in there as well?"

"Of course. All the guys' towels are in here."

"Thanks" I grabbed my towel and cramped it into the bag.

"We need music as well."

"Hmm good point. I have music that will kill the guys but I like it. I'll just get my speakers"

"Alright. We're ready to go."

She nodded and together we walked downstairs to the pool area where the guys were finished BBQing.

"Finally" they all said making us roll our eyes.

Matt grabbed Kari and whispered in her ear making her giggle , he then let her sit on his lap. I smiled but my smile faltered when I saw Brian glaring at me.

"Hey I heard about you and Bri... I'm sorry" Zacky said softly to me , "if you need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on I'm always here"

"Thanks Zee."

"I mean it Tan"

"I know. I'll take you up on that offer"

"Good. He's an ass"

"Thanks Zacky"

He smiled and walked away , casting me a big genuine smile once again before going over and talking to Matt.

Kari released herself from Matt and walked over to me asking me what Z wanted. I told her earning a small knowing smile.

"What?"

"Nothing" she stretched out winking at me , I rolled my eyes and changed the subject.

That bitch knows something..