Dreaming a Dream

I stop myself everytime I want to visit Kari in the hospital knowing that the five guys , I will probably never call my friends again , will be waiting for me like they were the hunters and I the prey.

I need to see her , I need to tell her I'm sorry. I need to beg for forgiveness because I can't lose my best friend.

It wasn't suppose to happen - Brian was suppose to get hurt not Kari.

Well I suppose if Brian died , Kari would still be hating me but luckily her life wouldn't be on the line.

Matt hasn't done anything to me - yet. He will probably kill me or allow someone else to kill me when Kari's awake and okay.

I deserve that - I deserve being hurt and tortured ; I also deserve to be arrested and sentenced for murder but I know it won't be that easy.

I know doing what I did was fucked up and wrong but I needed Brian to fear for his life. I didn't think it would get out of hand and I didn't think Ludwig would have brought back up.

I certainly didn't plan on Kari being shot.

I still don't even fucking know how she was in the middle of the cross fire. I was so sure I got lucky when she slipped off to the bathroom and also just in fucking time Ludwig texted me telling me he was here.

I decided to see her tonight - when visiting hours was over. I know someone working at the hospital and he owed me.

Before Matt kills me - before anything happens to me I have to make sure that she's okay.
I have to make sure she knows I love her and that I'm sorry.