Pictures and Words Make the Memories

As far as Rian could remember, it started on the bands very first real tour, way back when the band was being driven to shows by their parents because none of them had their licences yet. The memory was foggy from the nerves and excitement at the time, but he was pretty sure that was when he first saw Jack standing by a rack of postcards in a dingy hotel foyer, pulling out cards, eyeing them and putting them back until he found the one he liked.

He also remembered Alex teasing him about it; ‘we haven’t even been away for twenty four hours yet, your mum is standing outside, why the fuck are you buying postcards for?’ Jack had came up with some shifty excuse and walked up to the desk to pay.

Rian didn’t notice him doing it again until their first tour after they finished recording their first full length album, by then though everyone was buying things like postcard, fancy note paper and such to send to their families and girlfriends back home. So it didn’t seem any different from anyone else until Jack was buying postcards at every city, sometimes at every stop for more than a week at a time.

He wasn’t the only one to notice and again Alex was the first one to say anything.

-

Quiet movie nights like this were a bit too far and in-between, it was nice to just sit back and watch a movie with friends after a few long days of interviews, photo shoots, signings, sound checks and shows. Rian loved being on the road but sometimes he needed to relax and have a full night’s sleep.

Zack had flaked it not even fifteen minutes into the movie. Rian was thinking of doing the same while he sat with his eyes closed watching the light of the TV flicker behind his eye lids. He knew sleeping where he was would result in a very sore neck in the morning, but getting up and walking to his bunk felt like a lot of effort.

“So,” Alex said during a quiet part of the movie just as Rian was starting to drift.

Rian open one eye and lazily looked over at Alex.

“What with all the postcards, dude?” Alex asked poking Jack in the thigh.

“I like buying them.” Jack shrugged. “Some have very nice photography and Mum likes getting them in the mail.”

Jack shrugged again and sunk down in his seat. Alex watched him for a moment; waiting for a longer explanation and when Jack said nothing he turned back to the TV. Rian kept watching, curious. After a moment Jack glanced at him and quickly looked away.

No one asked for a few weeks after that.

-

Rian never asked about the postcards, he left that to mostly Alex and Zack. It was different, sure, but if Jack wanted to collect postcards or something then as far as Rian was concerned it was perfectly fine. As long as they didn’t end up all over the bus of course, but no one ever saw the slightest glance of the cards apart from the moment when Jack brought them.

Admittedly, Rian was curious, but for some reason it felt more like it was a subject that Jack had to mention first, rather than being nagged and teased about for a real explanation.

In any case it was totally an accident when Rian found the box.

-

It had been the end of tour party the night before and an early celebration of sorts as the band was about to go and record their second album. At some point, Rian had guessed that it was probably after the club, the party had ended up on the ATL bus. It was great for a long time - loud music, awesome party lights that seem to appear from nowhere, lots of alcohol, heaps of people - until sometime after two am when someone spilt water all over Jack’s bunk.

There was a mad scramble to get Jack’s things out before the water spread. The bedding was a lost cause but his laptop and other non-water proof items were saved. All of it ended up in Rian’s bunk for safe keeping. The party was wound down after that.

In the morning Rian was trying to find his phone charger under the mess of Jack’s stuff. He was a bit hangover, not taking care in what he was doing and ended up knocking stuff onto the ground from the high bunk.

He quickly got down, picked up the jacket and hoped that nothing important was under it. As he lifted up the jacket though, a gift small box covered in stickers toppled over and a handful of postcards fell out. Rian frowned at the box confused, until he remembered Jack’s apparent hobby of buying them.

The box was full; all but the ones that fell out were bunch up in neat stacks held together by rubber bands. It was hard to tell how many were in there but if Rian had to guess how many there was, he’d say there was at least one for every day of the month and a half long tour. It was kind of impressive. How did Jack manage to buy so many and hide them without being noticed?

Rian started picking up the ones that fell out and was about to look and see if anything was written on them when he heard footsteps approaching. He scooped them up and got the lid back on just as the bunk area door opened.

Jack had his mouth open to say something but as he noticed the box in Rian’s hands, he quickly went from excited about something to nervous. Rian cleared his throat.

“I accidently knocked it out of the bunk looking for my phone charger. Sorry.”

He handed the box over to Jack. They stood silent for a moment before Rian turned and started rummaging through his bunk again.

“Your charger is in the back lounge. Alex used it last night.” Jack said placing the box in the back corner of his bunk that wasn’t still damp. “Zack and others are going to a coffee run, you coming?” He asked changing the subject.

Rian didn’t call him on it; instead he nodded and put his flat phone on his pillow before following Jack out.

-

Things went on like Rian never found the box. It confused Rian, because why would Jack be so shy about collecting postcards? On the list of weird things to collect, postcards were a totally sane item. Really, it could have been a lot worse.

Rian didn’t say a word and decided let Jack come to him if he wanted to talk about it. The subject was almost forgotten while they recorded their second album until they went on tour again, pumping the fans up for the album’s release.

It was one week into the tour when That Hotel Night happened.

-

Due to the ‘Band Hotel Nights Rotation’ (as Alex calls it, even with capitals) Rian was sharing with Jack. Over the last couple of years it never bothered who Rian ended up sharing with anymore, as long as he had a bed and ear plugs if the other person happened to snore.

A lot of the others were going out for the night, to some bar down the street advertising some sort of fancy laser light show. Rian didn’t feel like going, it was cold out, threatening to rain at any moment and he was tired. It was the perfect type of a quiet night in with the TV.

If Rian could find anything to watch that is. He was going through the channels for the second time when Jack finally got out of the shower, dressed in baggy night pants with a towel flopped over his damp hair. Rian raised an eyebrow is question as Jack crossed the room to the pile of bags.

“Too cold to go out,” Jack muttered. “I don’t feel like freezing my balls off tonight.”

Rian snorted and was about to make a smart-ass comment when Jack ripped the towel off his head and threw it at Rian. It landed on his chest.

Making a face Rian threw the towel back towards the bathroom, it landed in the open doorway. Good enough.

“Anything on TV?” Jack asked.

Rian shook his head.

They were in the middle of the third episode of a gold mining show that Rian was paying hardly any attention to when Jack, who had been messing around in his bag, suddenly plopped himself down on the other side of Rian’s bed.

It took Rian a moment to notice the small box in his hands. It was very simular box to the other one Rian had seen a few months ago, except this one was a light leafy green colour. The box was covered in stickers, mostly band logos, like the last one and held shut with a piece of ribbon wrapped around it.

The two of them sat quiet for a long moment before Jack sighed and placed the box down between them.

“I was wondering if you could help me.” Jack asked, without meeting Rian’s eyes.

“Sure,” Rian blinked slowly. “With what?”

Jack nudged the box and slowly unwound the piece of ribbon. The fabric was warn, like Jack had been wrapping and un-wrapping the box fairly often. They were currently three weeks into the tour and Rian wondered if Jack opened it every day or if he used the same piece of ribbon on another box at some point. That thought led to more questions. Did he have a box for every tour or did he fill one up before getting the next one? How many boxes does he have at home? How many postcards did he have?

Rian wanted to ask that and more, but stayed silent as Jack took the lid off the box. He was afraid to say anything in case he accidently said the wrong thing. It’s taken Jack this long to show this to him, he really didn’t want to fuck it up. Guessing by the stiffness in Jack’s shoulders and the way he made sure not to look away from the box, Rian figured that Jack hadn’t shown any one before.

In a small way Rian sort of felt honoured that Jack trusted him so much.

“I haven’t...” Jack trailed off before letting out a long breath. “Okay, it’s kind of stupid. Well you know that I collect postcards, I try and get one at every city we play on tour. Sometimes at random places we stop at too.”

“I don’t think it’s stupid.” Rian smiled.

Jack finally looked up a little surprised. He stared at Rian for a short moment before smiling back.

“It’s kind of a weird thing to do.” Rian went to remind Jack that their tour manager collected Disney toys so collecting postcards was totally not a weird thing on their bus, but Jack kept talking. “But I don’t like collect them just because they look cool or pretty or ‘cause their funny. I write things on them, sort of like reminders of things that happened that day. Stuff like that.”

Now Rain was the one to look surprised. That was an awesome idea! How can Jack think that was stupid? It’s very much like what the others did by videotaping things, taking pictures (mostly Zack) and getting souvenirs from random places when they have the chance to go shopping. It was like a scrapbook and journal in one.

“While I was sick last week I missed a few days and then at the start of this week we were so busy I didn’t have time. I wanna make sure I don’t miss much, so can you help?”

“Of course.” Rian grinned. “Show me what you got up to and we’ll go from there.”

Jack smiled, looking relieved and pulled out the small pile of cards out of the box.

-

For the rest of that tour and most of the next one the postcard collecting turned into a JackAndRian thing. Jack would buy the cards, sometime with helpful suggestions from Rian, and Rian would remember things from that show or that day off to put on the cards.

Alex and Zack asked what they were doing a few times and knew they were up to something, but never pushed the issue when they wouldn’t give a straight answer. For the most part Alex and Zack let them have their Thing (as Alex had named it) in piece. It reminded Rian how awesome his friends were.

Despite Rian now being apart of this postcard thing he still didn’t ask much about it. Eventually Jack would answer the questions in passing; he had quite a few boxes at home, he would wait until everyone was distracted before buy a card so the others wouldn’t notice, he had no idea how many he had but he knew it was a fuckton and the idea was born after a comment he’s mum said on their first day of tour ever. The only thing Jack never mentioned exactly was why he never told anyone, why he kept it all hush-hush.

Though Jack openly talked about it to Rian now, he was still really surprised when Jack invited him over his house between tours to help him organise it all.

-

“That is not a fuckton, that is like a major whole fucking lot of postcards!” Rian exclaimed when he walked into Jack’s dining room.

There had to be a small box for every tour they had been on for the last few years. Most weren’t full but there was a couple from national tours that was chockers, that full the lid was being held on by a piece of string.

Jack shifted from foot to foot.

“Uh, yeah.” He laughed nervously reaching up to run a hand through his hair. “I didn’t think I had so many until I started putting them on the table.”

Rian slowly took a step into the room and placed his jacket on the back of the closest chair.

“So, what do you need help with exactly?”

“A lot of them are mixed up, out of date.” Jack made a face. “Some of the boxes are falling apart. I got new ones.”

Jack walked around the table and picked up one of the boxes that was just holding together. It flexed dangerously in his hands, he quickly placed it back down.

“And I brought a bookshelf to put them in. It’s a flat pack.” Jack said with more of an excited tone. “I was thinking of putting it in the lounge room? I’ve been, well, I’ve been hiding them from everyone but you and my parents so far, but they’re my tour memories, you know? I’m proud of those memories and I want them to be somewhere where I can see them when I’m home.”

Rian matched Jack’s grin. He felt excited for Jack, finally opening up about it and wanting to acknowledge the fact he collected the cards and not be shy about it. Maybe if he could display some of out the box in some way like Zack does with his tour photos that could be pretty cool, Rian thought.

Because if he was wanted them out in the main area of the house then he didn’t mind if other people got to see them now, right?

“What if others see them when they visit?” Rian asked.

“Then I guess, I’ll explain it to them.” Jack shrugged.

Jack walked out of the room towards the lounge room; Rian followed and helped Jack lay the large box containing the bookshelf on the floor.

“Maybe you should invite Alex and Zack over and show them.” He suggested lightly. “Do a show and tell like Zack does with his photos.”

Jack paused as he reached for the scissors, thoughtful, before glancing up at Rian.

“Maybe... yeah, maybe I should.”

-

It wasn’t until after the next tour before Jack got the entire band to his house to show them what he’s been doing over the last couple of years.

The afternoon ended up being a late nighter of ‘remember is?’ and ‘remember when?’. It was a really good day, probably one of the bet the four had together when off tour.

After a few hours Rian ended up with a notepad writing down memories from certain tours that wasn’t on the cards or they had forgotten. The list ended up pretty long and Rian put the small book in the shelf with the boxes before he went home the next day.

Thanks to Alex and Zack the notepad wasn’t the only new thing added to Jack’s memory collection.

-

Rian was sitting in the back lounge of the bus helping Jack sort out a pile of postcards. That morning as the band was rushing to get to a photo shoot on time, Jack had accidently knocked his box of postcards over, scattering them all over the floor and mixing them all up. It was a right mess, three weeks of Warped Tour now completely out of date. Some didn’t have dates written on them yet which made it even harder to sort. There were a lot of pieces of paper standing is as cards for places where Jack wasn’t about to get one for certain cities, which made it a little confusing too.

The two of them had been sorting for almost half an hour when Zack and Alex walked into the room and flopped onto the couches.

“Done yet?” Alex asked picking up a random pile and flicking through them.

“Almost.” Jack said talking the pile off Alex.

Alex looked at Jack out the corner of his eye and swiped a pile Rian had been working on. Zack rolled his eyes and moved to sit next to Jack to help, eventually Alex joined in after a few minutes and the four of them managed to get it done and all back into the box after another ten minutes. Rian sat back against the couch relieved and watched as Jack carefully tied the box shut with a piece of ribbon.

“So, I’ve been thinking-“Zack paused to hit Jack upside the head as he opened his mouth. “And no it didn’t hurt. That maybe, if you wanted, I could print some stage pictures of the crowds for the cities you don’t have cards for. That was you still have a picture for those cities.” Zack suggested.

Rian couldn’t help laughing as Jack eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas.

“That would be awesome!” Jack grinned, reaching out of wrap an arm around Zack’s shoulders. “I was wondering what to do for the days I didn’t have one, having a bunch of notes instead felt weird. Thanks!”

“You’re welcome.” Zack smiled.

“I got something for you too, Jack.” Alex said, standing up and reaching into one of the bunks on the other side of the doorway.

He pulled out something purple and fluffy and threw it towards Jack, just missing Rian’s head. Jack managed to catch it before the thing hit his face. He held it up and both Rian and Zack started laughing.

“A purple flamingo pen.” Jack stated more than asked. “Huh, didn’t think they made them in that colour.”

“Well, they do. Got it for ya so you you’ll stop stealing my pens.”

Jack flashed his best innocent grin. Rian snorted and quickly dodged as Jack picked up Alex’s pen off the table and threw it. Even if Rian didn’t move it would have missed.

“So, Matt overheard us talking about the postcards,” Zack said before a pen throwing war began.

Rian put the pen on the table and glanced over at Jack, unsure and a little worried.

“Yeah?”

“Hmm, and he asked about them. We just said you were trying to get as many as you can though the tour for your Mum. Hope that’s ok. He might ask you himself though.”

“No, that’s ok.” Jack took a slow breath and made a face. “I don’t think I’ll show him yet though, one day but not yet.”

Not first the first time Rian watched Jack, since the beginning of the postcard thing, duck his head and go very self-conscious. The question he wanted to ask since he found the first box he saw burned on the back of his tongue. He figured there was a reason why curiosity killed the cat and finally asked.

“Why are you so scared about people knowing about the postcards?”

For a second it felt like the room stopped. Somewhere at sometime it was silently agreed that question was off limits, never to be spoken. For a moment Rian felt like punching himself in the face until Jack looked up at him from across the table.

“It’s...I don’t know. I’m not, like, embarrassed about or anything. Just scared about what other people would think about it.” Jack sighed and looked back down at the table. “I sort of lied when I told you that only my parents knew about it, I told a couple of people about the idea when I first started it, they told me it was stupid and started saying shit, like it was girly and stuff.”

Jack shrugged, and then continued before anyone could speak.

“I did it anyway, obviously, but it put me off from telling anyone. I knew I could trust you guys with it but I was afraid that word would accidently get out somehow. I didn’t want to get more shit about collecting tour memories via postcards. So I didn’t tell anyone until Rian accidently found one of the boxes.”

“Well those people are fucking idiots. I think it’s an awesome idea. Prettier looking than a ratty old journal like I have, that have days, even weeks missing in places.” Alex said. “Speaking of which I haven’t written anything this week yet.”

“I always thought it was the best combo of photography and a journal without having to do something similar to a scrapbook.” Rian added.

“If I had of thought of it I would have done it.” Zack grinned wrapping an arm around Jack’s shoulders.

“Seriously it’s an awesome idea, fuck what anyone thinks. If it makes you happy go for it.” Rian said flashing a bright smile when Jack looked at him.

Jack laughed and left against Zack. Alex reached over to mess up his hair.

“Thanks guys. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, it could have been a group thing ages ago.” Jack apologised.

“Don’t be.” Zack smiled. “How about when the tour is over we’ll go over the cards together like we did before and invite Matt over. Maybe he can add more things that happen on tour.”

Jack was quiet for a moment as he reached out and fiddled with the bow wrapped around the box, then nodded with a smile.

-

If anyone was to ask Rian what his favourite thing about the end of tour was, he would name off a list of random things about his bed, proper showers, free time and so on. But one of the things at the top of the list, right next to his family was Tour Memory Nights at Jack’s house with their band and crew.