Pictures and Some Memories

"This one's for Andi. May her return to California be filled with happiness, love, and prosperity," Serena gestured grandly, her half-filled glass of red wine high in the air.

"Are you fucking serious, Grandma? There's no way we're toasting to that," Jimmy scoffed, earning a snicker from my end. "Anyways, Andi, it's so great to have you back. You are not allowed to leave ever again, except to tour, and that's final. Let's get this party started before I fall asleep out of the boredom that Serena inevitably brings."

While Serena rolled her eyes, I only grinned and raised my beer high in the air as my friends and I clinked glasses. "So motivating," Carly murmured after sipping on her cocktail. "I almost wish I didn't have to go home to my fiance tomorrow."

"You'll be back soon, especially since management finally settled on a recording session," I said with a wave of my hand. The guys had dispersed back to the pool table, where a tournament was currently underway, leaving us, Violet, and Serena to ourselves back at the table we'd claimed. Three organic pizzas were sitting in the center of the table, surrounded by emptied bottles of beer and whatever cocktail had previously occupied the glassware. I reached for one of the cold slices and smiled as the basil hit my tongue.

"Wow, Andi, I know you've been dry since you've moved back but seriously, you've gotta learn to enjoy yourself in private," Serena said as I finished chewing.

"Pizza can always please better than a man ever could," I shrugged. "Bad day? Pizza. No time to cook? Pizza. Period making you crazy? Well, pizza and something else certainly helps immensely."

She rolled her eyes. "If only my body didn't hate me after I ate pizza. Yours is probably keen on most carbs now, right?"

I shrugged. "Tour life strikes again, what can I say?"

Before long, she went to retrieve more drinks for the four of us, and after I finished my last bite, I glanced around the bar lazily, my eyes taking in the guitars hanging on the walls. There were also a few pieces of art scattered, but mostly film posters, old tour posters, and framed quotes adorned the dark walls. Considering that I was underaged the last time I was here for an extended stay, I had to admit that the California bar scene thus far was a stark cry from the one in New York. T-shirts and jeans were thankfully the norm here, save for the few hard-working business types trying to awaken their numbed mind. Women were also dressed pretty casual, too, which made my outfit of an old NYU hoodie, leggings, and moccasins seem almost out of place. Then again, I'd be kicked out of a place for showing up like this in New York. You really had to dress the part to play, it seemed, and I was grateful to sit in comfort for once.

Not to mention that the noise level hardly raised above what you'd typically encounter in a bar-- well, excluding our round of shots, or another party's cries out for the same reason. Still, New York just seemed like a loud memory in my brain compared to the lax nature of California, and although I loved NYC with all my heart, I was already so much happier here than I was in the city.

"Andi, look, they're having an open mic night here soon! Should I sign you up?" Carly asked, hand poised over the contact sheet with a coy smile.

I glared. "You let Drunk Andi think she could sing Free Bird the last time we did that. So, no, don't you dare. Sign Alex up though, since he'll be here by then."

"You know, if you weren't slurring so much, your Skynard cover would've been viral in an instant," she said as she scribbled his name down. "You may deny it, but with a little polishing, your voice would sell in an instant."

"I'll stick to guitar," I said before taking a long swig of beer while she just shook her head.

Violet slid back onto her cushioned stool at the table almost completely unnoticed, chewing her lip as she stared down the napkin dispenser on the table. I'd opened my mouth to ask what was wrong, but Carly came into view then, carefully running over in her black suede stilletto boots, a look of warning on her face.

In walks Zacky, all smiles as he approached Brian at the bar, clapping him on the back as he greeted his friend. His black hair was in disarray, due to the strong winds we'd been having recently, but since he'd cut it short, it looked more intentional than messy. An unlit cigarette was already perched behind his ear and I swear, he still looked just as he did the first day we met, youthful mischief in his eyes as he laughed with Brian.

I tore my gaze from him and looked back at Violet, my mind flashing back to when I'd finally told her why I hadn't invited Zacky to my housewarming party the night before. I was surprised that he hadn't told her, but according to her, he hadn't asked about me since that night, either, so she knew something was off between us once again (although, to be fair, I don't recall a moment longer than 10 minutes that had been normal between us since before I moved to New York). I could remember the way the anger tasted in my mouth the night of the rehearsal dinner and how I declared to myself that I'd always taste it, but right then and there I couldn't muster that feeling again. Once again, I could only recall the memories we'd had, and that alone was enough to keep my eyes everywhere but his direction.

"I'm sorry," Violet muttered, "Jimmy called him--"

"Violet, he's your friend, too, I honestly don't care," I said immediately, my words spoken so quickly that even I couldn't comprehend what I'd said and repeated myself. "It's not a big deal."

"You're a terrible liar," Carly mouthed, earning a glare from me.

"Seriously, Vi, I'm good," I shrugged, taking a longer swig of my beer. "Don't worry about me."

"Baker just bought a round of tequila shots, girls. Get ready," Serena cheered as she slid in, oblivious to the exchange we'd just had. I couldn't help but glance his way again, as I had the strangest feeling that he was once again trying to worm his way back in. His cool green eyes caught mine for a second and he gave the slightest hint of a smile before he turned back to the blonde bartender.

She fluttered her lashes at him shyly as she poured out the shots one by one, a smile playing on the corners of her full lips. Before I could see anymore, I forcefully tore myself away from the exchange and feigned another smile as I listened to the girls chatter on about the new Marc Jacobs collection released the week before, although I wasn't into it at all. So instead, in a moment of pettiness that even I was ashamed of, I stalked over to the bar and bluntly asked for my usual whiskey and soda, the craving for something to take the edge strong as ever.

Zacky, either surprised to see me or surprised by my boldness, looked at me sideways and continued to flirt with the barkeep while she made my drink. I eyed how much whiskey she poured and interrupted her, saying, "I'm gonna need more than that, sweetheart."

This time, he laughed out loud before quickly composing himself. As she handed me the drink and proceeded to stalk to the register at the end of the bar, he said, "Put hers on my tab, too."

"What are you doing?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him in his direction.

He shrugged. "I dunno, honestly. You're mad at me still, that much is clear, and valid, too, but.. I just don't want things to be bad between us, Andi. This is most likely going to bite me in the ass, but man, I'm so sorry for how I went about things before Jimmy and Cara's wedding. You deserved the truth upfront, but I assure you, I'd much rather be cool with you and friends again than trading passive-aggressive remarks until someone reaches their breaking point."

Stunned, I stayed silent as I hadn't a single coherent thought about what he was saying to me currently. I had been so focused the last few months on being so angry at him that I only just realized that it was immensely exhausting. I was still hurt by the revelation that he and Jourdan were parents, but not nearly as much anymore. It was just a small pang every once in awhile now. Plus, for the sake of our friends, it wouldn't do much good for either of us to hold animosity, as I knew that we'd likely be spending loads of time together now that I'd moved back. I had to become an adult and be a bigger person and accept his gesture, or else I'd end up regretting it in the long run.

"I forgive you," I said quietly, so low that he'd leaned in to hear me better. "I appreciate your gesture, too, it means a lot. I can't guarantee we'll be best friends or anything, especially with how uncomfortable that'll make Larkin, but it'd be nice to be normal again."

His eyebrow twitched at the thought of Larkin, but he made no mention of his obvious distaste for the man. "I agree. Don't worry about your drinks for the rest of the night, though. I've got you."

"No way, Baker. I'll take this one and pay for the rest, thank you."

"You just bought a house from your dad and put a shit-load of furniture into it and are probably already designing exactly how you want your backyard to look. Trust me, a few more drinks on my tab won't hurt me. Let me give your bank account a break."

"How did you know I bought it from my dad?" I asked, raising an eyebrow his way.

"Well, for one, we're neighbors, so..." he said, shrugging. "Plus, Serena spilled the news the second you asked her to ask your dad about property here."

"That makes a lot of sense, actually..."

"Hey, Z, these shots you've ordered are ready to go out. I can deliver them to your usual party if you'd like," the blonde bartender cut in then, young eyes sparkling in his direction. It was only then that I wondered how old she was, for she couldn't be older than a freshman or sophomore in college. Considering that he'd just turned 27, it made the entire situation I'd witnessed moments before even more uncomfortable to watch than it already was.

"That'd be great, Vanessa," he replied, grabbing his beer and following behind her. "You coming?" he asked, and I nodded.

"Two questions," Carly said in my direction after we all enjoyed a shot. "How old is that bartender, and did I just witness something important happen between you and Zachary?"

"Why do you refer to him as that?" I asked, sipping on her water to soothe my scorched throat. "Answer 1, I don't know, but I want to find out, because she's gotta be no more than 19. Answer 2, yes. He has apologized and I've accepted."

"And you're just gonna casually mention this as if it's not important?" Violet interjected, narrowing her deep brown eyes in my direction. "What happened?"

I glanced around, making sure he was out of earshot. Standing 10 feet away at the pool table, he was surely not to hear me rehash what'd just happened, so I summarized it for them quickly.

Carly and Violet shared a look of skepticism, but smiled. "What a relief," Violet said, "Because I was so not looking forward to being a middleman."

"I wouldn't have done that to you again, and you know it," I scolded her, but felt relieved nonetheless. "Vi, how old is Vanessa?"

"Not sure, but your girl is about to go find out," she replied, downing the rest of her wine and confidently striding in the direction of the young bartender.

"You're gonna be okay without me here, right?" Carly asked softly suddenly as we watched Violet chat with Vanessa animatedly.

"Of course, Carly. You should be relieved that you don't have to carry around all of my bullshit, anyway. You just got engaged, you and Alex are going to live together, and you've got a sweet gig at Atlantic to go back to and focus on! I'll see you in a few weeks, and then we'll arrange from there. But until then, go enjoy yourself without having to take care of my shit, too."

She chuckled. "Funny thing is, I enjoy taking care of your shit. But it's time for us to live a bit more divergently, I suppose."

"Don't start fucking crying," I ordered her, laughing. "We've not had nearly enough to start that shit!"

Giggling, she wiped at a stray tear that managed to escape. "Fuck off. Let me express my feelings, you cold hearted wench!"

Violet came back over quickly then, almost tripping over a chair in her path as she escaped what I presumed to be an awkward situation between she and Vanessa. "Abort mission!" she hissed, then laughed hysterically.

"What did you do?! You were gone 2 minutes, Violet!"

"She's not even drinking age. 19... Holy shit! I've got to tell Zacky before he tries to legitimately flirt with her and ends up taking home a babysitter."

As she pulled him away from the guys and laughing the entire time, I sighed as I looked out at my friends. Now that Carly had mentioned it, we were both about to embark on very different career journeys. She was about to begin her tenure as a scout for Atlantic, while I was about to not only become a tour manager, but showcase in an entirely different crowd/scene than what I was used to. She and her boyfriend had taken a big step and become both engaged and live-ins, while I honestly didn't know where Larkin and I were headed. I was at least relieved that I didn't have much to worry about regarding the Zacky situation, for that was one aspect of my life that I couldn't be bothered with dealing with any longer. I just hoped that everything would soon start to work out in other facets of my life, for I was beyond nervous about what it had in store for me during my stay in California.