Pictures and Some Memories

"Andi, you know I don't like this," Larkin growled into the phone as I walked into the airport. "You promised that you'd keep him out of your life."

"He needs a tech for a couple of festivals. Besides, his original tech had something come up that limits him from working at the moment."

"He seriously couldn't just work through it?"

"It's really difficult to be a technician from a jail cell," I snapped, stopping short of the gate I was to depart from. "I'll call you when I land. I'm sorry you feel so strongly against this, despite the fact that it's nothing out of the ordinary of what I usually do this time of the year."

"Usually you don't go on tour with your ex-boyfriend, Andria. Of course I'm not okay with this!"

"You've nothing to worry about, though! Do you really not trust me enough to help a friend out and do my job?"

"Well, maybe you should've considered how I'd feel about it. I am your boyfriend, after all."

I chuckled bitterly. "This is the first time we've talked for more than two minutes in a week and you're getting mad at me for not considering you? You just made travel plans for the same week I'm supposed to showcase at my new place!"

"That's completely different, Andi. It's for my career!"

"If it was for your career you would've remembered the fucking date sheet you always make me send you on any important things regarding me, someone you fucking represent! Going to Cabo with your frat buddies doesn't fucking count."

I couldn't help but shake my head, unbelievably angered by his actions and unspoken accusations. "Look, I'm an independent adult, free to make her own decisions. You've nothing to worry about. If you want to stop being an ass and talk to me when I land, cool. If not, I'll talk to you when you've decided to be a mature adult about this."

I locked my iPhone then, thus ending our call and proceeded to go through the procedures of flying out to our first stop, Seattle, on autopilot. I knew that Charlotte had just heard the entire conversation we'd shared but she didn't make any move to talk about it, for which I was thankful. There was no way I would be listening to another person tell me to break up with him just yet, especially with Zacky being within a 10-yard radius at all times. Although I was friends with the lot of them, this trip was also purely business from my standpoint. I didn't need personal drama ruining their shows.

After meeting with the rest of the group, our boarding call came moments later and before I knew it, I was settling into my seat and waiting for whomever was to be seated next to me in the front of first class. I wasn't feeling particularly chatty and I hoped the stolid expression I held on my face waved off anyone trying to force positivity or their overwhelmingly annoying excitement to fly for the first time down my throat.

Low and behold, the very same person that Larkin was forever hateful of sat next to me, the smell of mint, cologne and leather settling in the air around us as he greeted me with a small smile. I glanced in his direction to acknowledge him and returned to staring at the safety screen four feet in front of me.

"Trouble in paradise?" he asked, earning an eyeroll from my end.

"I don't think you actually want the answer to that, Baker."

"You know me well, Dawson," he replied with a smirk. "Listen, I'm probably going to say this a million times over the next few days, but I really do appreciate sacrificing your time to work on your legitimate career to help us out."

"I've been dying to get back on the road, no matter how short," I shrugged. "I'll probably be doing a ton of scribbling and sketches on bar napkins while we have downtime, though."

"As if that's out of the ordinary."

"All the gear got checked okay?" I ask. "I know I cut it close this morning whenever I returned the guitars. I've had a jam-packed week and have been up till 4 every night learning all that I need to know."

"Wait, seriously?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. I nodded. "You could've asked for some help, you know. I know how I like my guitars to sound, and Syn would've been happy to help you, too."

"I asked Jason Berry for the number for your audio guy and got him to send in older mixes so I could learn by ear."

"You're serious?"

"Yep," I replied with caution, as he eyed me like I'd just grown another head. "I learned the setlist for all of the stops, since you guys changed it up a bit for each one, and got a feel for how your guitars play, and fixed your weak strings before they snap onstage. And, obviously, got them into tuned perfection, but that's just obvious."

He chuckled. "So damn cocky, D. Can't say I'm not impressed, though. I'll just have to wait to be blown away during our set tomorrow."

"I suppose so," I agreed with a small smirk.

He turned to me after the safety demonstration and grinned. "See, we can be civil, even good friends if we work at it."

"I never said we couldn't, Zack. Circumstances are what killed it before. Where is this even coming from?"

"We used to have a lot of fun together, even before we put labels on things. I guess I just enjoy the fact that we could get back to that someday."

I chuckled, shocked at his attitude now. It was so weird how naturally we fell aligned to each other; five minutes ago I was certain that this trip was going to be a nightmare, save the first class flights and amount of money I was getting for the shows. As long as I didn't worry too far into things, then I had nothing to worry about, save my moody boyfriend back in New York.

Shit, my moody boyfriend in New York.

I was sure that my face totally gave away that I wasn't at all in the conversation at that moment, as Zack opened his mouth to ask something just as the pilot began his briefing before take-off. I quickly reassured him with the lie that I may have forgotten to pack something, to which he didn't contest.

I had to figure out some kind of agreement with Larkin soon, or else I wasn't sure what our future together would be. For the last three years that we've dated (on and off) he's rapidly become more and more controlling of who I interacted with. It was no secret that I hated anyone who thought that they could decide my entire future, and the very fact that Larkin thought he could without a second thought only alarmed me.

As we took off, I found myself at a crossroads. Do I deal with this as soon as we land, or do I wait until I'm back in my home in California before hashing it out with him? Before I could even begin to think it through, Zacky ordered my favorite drink for me without asking for approval first. Sitting in front of me was the whisky soda in a tiny glass on my tray table, passed to me via tattooed fingers. Fingers that I knew Larkin would break if he got the chance.

There wasn't an equal ratio of soda to whiskey, but I couldn't care less at this point. It was going to be a stressful week without Larkin down my back. I may as well enjoy myself and have a drink before getting to work.

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"I know you guys want to go ahead and have some time to yourselves before the show tomorrow, but in the morning there will be a lobby call of no later than 10 am. The venue is a short 10 minutes away, but on foot, it's nearly an hour, so don't get left behind. As of now, our set time is 1:00, but crew will be loading in at exactly 11am to the stage, or else we lose our spot for the day. We have an hour and fifteen-minute-long set, and time for the band to do press before and after. Load out will begin immediately following the end of the set, as we are set to drive directly to Oregon for the radio showcase the following day.

"Also, keep track of your personal belongings. Examples include but are not limited to: phone, wallet, backpacks, watches, et cetera, et cetera. If you leave something behind in the hotel, I can try to recover it but there is never a guarantee of finding it. Be the adults you are and keep up with your shit.

"Alright, that's all. I will let you know if anything changes."

With that, we followed the band's temporary tour manager (who kind of sounded like a total knob in my personal opinion) out of the van and into the hotel, where we were promptly handed our badges and keycards needed for the next day. As I exited the elevator to the third floor, I could hear the guys laughing as they entered their rooms. I wasn't sure why their management hadn't just roomed me with one of the other crew members—although I did have a strong suspicion that they feared I'd be uncomfortable dressing/sleeping/etc. around the other men, despite nearly six years of touring under my belt—but I learned long ago not to question your own space while on tour, no matter if it's a week-long tour, or a four-month stretch. Matt and Violet were going to relax in their room, since they both had an event the night before and were still hungover from it; Jimmy, Johnny, and Brian were definitely going to go bar-hopping, and drinking didn't sound appealing to me after the one I'd had on the plane; I had no clue what Zacky or the crew members that I hardly knew (besides Jason, of course) were doing, but I finally decided to bundle up and put another pair of socks on before grabbing my phone and wristlet wallet and heading downstairs. It was time to explore.

I was finishing up an email with Flyzik when I bumped into Zacky just outside the main entrance to the Hilton we were staying at. A Marlboro Red dangled from his lips, safe from the light sprinkle of rain as he stood underneath a dry canvas overhang. He raised an eyebrow as he drew in a hit, offering one to me.

"I'll take one, but I can't stay to give you any company," I said, accepting it and lighting up immediately.

"We literally just got here and you're already leaving?" he remarked, ashing his cigarette quickly before it returned to his lips.

"I've been to Seattle 8 times and have seen very little of it. I'm off to see the culture of this dreary place," I tossed over my shoulder.

"Well, it'll be getting dark soon, and the streets in any kind of bustling city aren't safe for for you to travel alone. I'll come with you."

"Bar crawl just not tickling your fancy? You're off of your fatherly duties for almost two weeks; don't you want to take advantage of your chance to finally get some ass?" I asked as he easily caught up to me.

"What makes you think I wasn't getting any at home?"

I shot him a sideways look. "Sure, this was back in the day, but we used to date, you know... And you got very cranky whenever you weren't getting enough action. Whether it was from me or your hand..."

"Touche," he replied, chuckling. "It's just hard, you know? Usually he's at my Mom's or with Jourdan's mom, but I never feel right bringing someone I'm just going to hook up with home. Then again, they're usually completely clueless that I have a son at all..."

"Really? From what I've witnessed on tour, chicks dig single dads."

"Yeah, because they get attached to the idea of being a stepmom," he sighed, "And I don't need that shit from a girl I meet at a bar. Look at where that got me."

I took a long drag from my cigarette then, unable to respond. It pained me to know that Jourdan was still a sore spot for me after all these years. Every time I push her existence to the back of my mind, she comes rearing back, reminding me that she had a child with him purely to prove she was able to cinch a guy like him. And then she fucking ditched both him and her child like they meant nothing... It made me sick.

Noticing the tension in the air, he changed the subject. "Do you have a destination in mind, or are you just wandering? Because there are a couple of cool spots here that I know you'd love."

"Yeah, I was kind of just following instinct here. Where's the gum wall? I really want to see that grossness in all its glory."

"Thankfully, we're headed in the right direction. If I'm not mistaken, it's only a few blocks away from here."

I finished my cigarette at the same time as he did and kept pace with him as we walked. "You know," I started, deciding to no longer keep up the half-assed apology we formed at the bar, "I really am sorry that I've been so rotten to you. Given my track record of what I've already done, you really didn't deserve any of it. It's not your fault I can't sort my emotions out properly."

"No, I should've told you that Jourdan and I had Nicholas. I was so wrapped up in trying to get you back into my life that I didn't think about what consequences could arise if I left out some of the truth. And as for what's already happened, that shit is in the past now, Andi. I'm fine with it all, I promise."

"I'm glad, because we really did have a good friendship before it all went to shit. No promises on not snapping at your idiotic comments, though."

"You know what, I'll actually welcome that. I figure you've gotten a few tips from your boyfriend for some more sick burns," he joked as he bundled his hands into the pockets of his jacket to keep them warm.

I groaned. "I'm sure you heard as we got to through the airport earlier today, but he's actually upset I didn't ask him if I could tour with you guys in the first place."

"I heard bits and pieces. Does he not realize you've been independent since the minute you left the womb?" he asked, making me chuckle.

"After 3 years, I guess not," I shrugged. "I'm not even worried about it right now, anyways. There's no way I'm gonna let him ruin my time this week."

"Such a douche," he muttered, and I was surprised he kept it at that. "But you've got the right idea, after all. Coffee first, then the wall?"

"You know me too well," I smiled. "Lead the way, tour guide."