Pictures and Some Memories

I sat at the bar of my parent's guesthouse, holding the white coffee cup in my hands to stop them from shaking. Larkin stood with his back to me, the moonlight making him seem more like a shadow than a man standing before me. I took another sip of the coffee in my hands, but it wasn't the caffeine that had sobered me up so quickly.

"What the hell was that?" I finally got the nerve to ask.

"I could ask you the same thing," he retorted, then reached for my father's favorite Scotch and proceeded to twist off the top.

"Get that shit out of your hands. You've had enough," I growled, hopping down from the chair and snatching it from his hands.

He rolled his eyes at me. "And you haven't?"

"You were there for five minutes and you managed to punch someone in the face and get us kicked out of my best friend's home. You want to explain yourself?"

"I did that because he thinks he can get away with flirting with you without consequence," he sighed.

"Plenty of guys have spoken to me before, but none of it means a thing."

He shook his head. "That may be true, from your end. But you don't see what I see, you don't know what I know."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Then enlighten me, please."

"Andi, you've got to be pretty dense if you don't see the way people look at you when you walk into a room, when you walk down the street, when you're working a gig. You've got this way about you that just commands attention, no matter where you go..." He smiled as he spoke, his fingers weaving with mine easily. "When I first saw you in that gallery your last year of school, I just knew I had to talk to you. I didn't even know you were in charge of it until you told me, after all. You're so beautiful, talented, and endlessly interesting. You never cease to amaze me."

I broke the contact between our hands and crossed my arms against my chest. "Flatter me all you want, but that doesn't explain why you assaulted my ex-boyfriend for speaking to me about something as harmless as tattoos."

"I wasn't finished," he said with a sigh. "This way about you can also work against you. Men come up to you for the same reasons I originally did, their intentions are all the same. They want you, and it doesn't surprise me, because you're such a beautiful woman. It's something I shouldn't worry about, because at the end of the day, I know where your loyalties lay... but damn, Andi, the way you interact with these people makes me question that, sometimes."

"Look at me," I told him sternly, directing his eyes to my own. "I am with you, and only you. You've nothing to worry about, okay? Zacky and I have a complicated past, but he and I aren't attracted to each other in the same way as before. He's not one to cross boundaries without permission, and I definitely didn't give him permission tonight. You and I have made it this far for a reason, okay? I love you."

"I love you, too," he murmured, lowering his head toward my own, his forehead against mine. "And I'm sorry. My jealousy overpowered my judgement and that wasn't fair to anyone."

"I accept your apology," I assured him, "However, I'm not the only one you need to apologize to. You didn't exactly make a great impression on anyone tonight..."

He looked past me at the digital clock on the microwave and raised an eyebrow in my direction. "Think I have enough time to persuade everyone otherwise?"

I shook my head. "I think Cara would have shut things down about an hour ago, Larkin. Maybe it's best if we all just slept on it and waited for tomorrow, okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah, perhaps you're right."

"When am I not?" I grinned, taking his hand in mine once again.

"Where are we going?" he asked as I lead him through the darkness to the master bedroom.

"You'll see," I replied as I kicked the door closed behind us.

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"Why is it that you only ever call me at six in the morning?"

I looked up toward the source of the voice calling out to me and smiled when I saw that Charlotte had made it out to the same dock she and I used to meet at every Saturday and Sunday morning during our Senior year of high school.

"What happened to our 'no questions asked' rule?" I joked as she lowered herself onto the smooth wooden planks beside me. Charlotte was looking as amazing as always, her unruly curly hair tied up into a bun that was held in place by a black scrunchie, the only thing with enough elastic to hold her hair in place. The black leggings and oversized hoodie, which I knew had to belong to Brian, made her look warm and comfortable in the cool October morning.

"That only applies when I see you often, which I don't," she sighed, giving me a shrug as she reached for a cigarette and lighter. "What's troubling you, my dear?"

"Everything," I sighed as I followed her lead, picking up the habit I had dropped in an effort to get away from anything that reminded me of Zacky all those years ago.

"Jeez, and you'd think you had it all," she muttered, taking a long drag. "You're back to smoking, so it must be bad."

"It is," I sighed. "I may have been a little... overzealous, coming back and jumping into everything so quickly..."

I trailed off, unsure of how I wanted to express how I felt. The great thing about Charlotte was that she never rushed me in any way, instead letting me formulate exactly what I wanted. She also would understand how I was feeling, having been away from it all for a long period of time, too. Just after Avenged released City of Evil, Brian and Charlotte, who had dated since I moved here in our junior year, broke up, causing her to move away from it all, too, to the small town she grew up in back in England. She was gone for two years before running into Brian in London on one of his days off, and eventually came back to America with him and returned to her relationship with him. If anyone could even begin to understand any of my situation, it'd be her.

"I thought I did the right thing, Charlotte. A clean break, you know? I moved three thousand miles away, I immersed myself in my art and touring, and he still haunts everything I do," I whispered, feeling my eyes water more and more with each word I said. "I thought it was me who was holding me back, but I think it's something else entirely."

"He was your first love, Andi, that's normal," she said in a soothing voice, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Is it? Is it normal to flirt with your first love and then lie to your current boyfriend about it, saying that it was just a' friendly misunderstanding'? That it meant nothing?"

"I'm not sure I-"

"Please don't take this the wrong way, but yes, you do, and so does Violet. The three of us could release a book on how to eavesdrop and snoop around properly, Charlotte. You witnessed it last night, only a few safe feet away from where he and I stood."

"Okay, fine, I'll stop sparing your feelings so that maybe you'll realize them instead," she sighed. "Look, Andi, after seeing you with Zacky last night, it seems that you've got some unresolved feelings that you've been repressing for a long, long time. You two have such a strong chemistry that hasn't wavered once in the six years you've been apart. I mean, it felt like old times, did it not?"

"It did," I sighed. "But, I can't let that happen again... Maybe all I need is closure so that I can fully invest myself into Larkin, because it's not fair to him."

"You're right about that," she agreed, "Although I don't know much about this guy other than the fact that you two were supposed to be business partners, but turned lovers..."

"He's not always an asshole," I defended him, "Just when I hurt him is when he's like that."

She nodded before we fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments. "He wants to marry me."

"Do you?" she asked softly, her brown eyes focused on the dark water in front of us.

I nodded. "I think so."

"Well, in that case, I'd get that closure as soon as possible, then," Charlotte quipped. "I know that you'll probably head over to Cara and Jimmy's after this, but, Zacky should be home today since I know he's got nothing planned, save for picking up his tux at seven this evening. Your best bet is to go in, headfirst."

"You really think so?"

She gave me another nod. "I'd never steer you wrong on purpose, Andi."

"Thank you," I said graciously, hugging her tightly. "How are things with Brian? I didn't mean to make this all about me..."

"Yes, you did," she joked, rolling her eyes. "He and I are great, actually. I think he wants to marry me, too."

"Oh yeah?" I grinned. "You sure this is the same Brian we're talking about?"

"Oh, come on, Andi. None of us are even remotely identical to who we were as teens," she said with a light laugh. "Speaking of Brian, he's going to be wondering why I slipped out soon, so I'd better head off. Cara'll probably tell you this, but while the guys are getting their tuxes, we're getting a mani/pedi at the new salon near the Pier. You should come, I mean, you're stressed enough as it is. It'd be nice to relax."

"And to hide these grubby nails from the world," I sighed, looking down at my short, chipped nails. Not only did being a guitar tech ruin my nails, but being an artist eliminated the possibility of ever having the shiny, healthy nails Charlotte possessed.

"I'll see you soon?" she asked as we stood.

I gave her a firm nod. "Of course. Go slip back into bed with Brian, I think I can handle it from here. Thanks, Charlotte."

"Anytime," she replied before she and I turned and went our separate ways.

I twirled the familiar set of keys around my finger briefly before finally unlocking my brother's old red Mustang and sliding inside. With a sigh, I reversed out of the gravel and sped toward my parent's house, my heart racing as fast as I could legally drive the damn car back home.