You Fall Apart and Then You...Stop!

Chapter 4

"Holy shit," I said in complete awe. "Your bands tour bus is HUGE."

I stared at it, at the way that the bands name Catholic Knees was sprawled across the black bus in white letters.

We had walked back to where the buses were parked, and since I'm not an asshole, and because bad things happen to girls like her when they dont have anyone protecting them, I walked her all the way to her tour bus door.

"Yeah, well that's just how it happened." she mumbled sheepishly.

She started to take off my sweater, but I stopped her before she could, "Keep it safe for me," I said with a warm smile.

"You sure?" she asked.

I nodded, "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Ye-" she started to say but was cut off by a white haired guy who had opened the bus door. I recognized him as her bands bass player, Aaron Portland.

"And where the fu-" he started but stopped once he saw me, "Hey," he greeted with a nod.

I nodded back.

"We left you some food in the microwave," he told her before heading back inside.

"Don't worry I'm not going to keep you out any longer. Goodnight," I said.

"Night," she said.

I waited until she was inside the bus before I left.

---------------------------------------------Andy's P.O.V------------------------------------------------

I headed straight for my bunk, but it's not like I got very far.

"I need to talk to you," my best friend in the entire world, and amazing band mate Aiden, said as he followed me to my bunk.

"About?" I asked.

"The bottle of Jack you bought today,"

I froze. How did he find out?


I sighed loudly, "Relax, I didnt drink any."

"Do you have any idea how close we were to going out looking for you when some fucking fan told us that they saw you buying a fucking bottle!" He whispered harshly, trying to avoid waking up anyone who decided to crash in our bus.

"Ive been sober for 4 years, give me a fucken break," I harshly whispered back.

"People slip,"

"Look, I threw away the bottle and went to one of Pop Pop's meetings. I got a chip and everything." I explained as I took out Max's chip from his sweater pocket.

He looked at me, his anger subsiding. "Why'd you buy the bottle?"


Having Aiden constantly stick his nose in my business was something I had gotten used to over the the years. He was always there to comfort me and always there to help me pick up the pieces, but sometimes he expected a little too much from me. Letting him down wasn't something I ever wanted to do, but its something that happened constantly.

I looked away from him and down at my feet. "Andy," he said, his voice soft and devoid of anger, only worry filling it.

"I got a call..." I started, but stopped. I didn't want my stupid voice to crack, to let it reveal that I was hurt.

"You got a call and...?" Aiden prompted, waiting for me to finish

I took a deep breath and cleared my throat, "It was from Vince."

"Holy crap," he said, "and what did he want?"

"Just to remind me that I'm not free. That he still controls me and that he'll find a way to..." I took a deep breath, "That he'll find a way to make me nothing again. You know, all the good stuff."

He came over to me and enveloped me in a tight hug. "Andy, your dad's an asshole, and he's sick.
He's just trying to get in your head again, like all those years ago."

I pulled away needing to see his reaction when I asked, "How'd he get my number?"

His eyes widened, "Are you accusing me?"

"That's how he got my number last time," I reminded him.

"He fooled me once, but he wont do it again." He assured me, hurt that I had even thought of him
betraying me like that.

"So are we yelling at Andy yet?" Aaron asked barging into the conversation.

I rolled my eyes at him.

Having Aaron stick his nose in my business was the reason why I'd often contemplated hurting him.
Sometimes he needed to just stay out of it!

"No one's yelling." Aiden said kicking Aaron out of the conversation.

"Someone should be yelling," Aaron butted back in.

It was Aiden's turn to roll his eyes. Aiden looked over at me, worry in his blue eyes. "Talk to me next time, please." he begged.

I nodded, a silent promise.

He nodded back assured that I would keep it and headed over to the front of the bus.

Aaron kept staring at me, his long white hair in a pony tail. His green eyes filled with a dangerous curiosity. "Were you really going to do it?" He asked.

"Yeah," I sighed, tired of this conversation.

"Why didnt you?" His voice deep and soft, "and I want the REAL reason why."

I sighed again, meeting his curious gaze. "When I opened the bottle, and I smelled it, it was all I wanted. It was all I NEEDED. It begged me to drink it. And I wanted it, wanted it so bad. And it scared me. And reliving all those memories..."

"You mean like all those times we used to drink?" He asked, walking closer to me.

I nodded, and I couldn't fight smiling at the memories of the amazing numbing feeling drinking gave me. Smiling at the memories of me and Aaron...

"Remember how we used to run from the cops?" he asked, slowly getting closer, and closer.

I nodded again, remembering. The adrenaline of it causing a greater high the shit we had snorted.

"Remember the pills we used to swallow?" His mouth close enough that I could smell the beers he had today on his breath.

"...the way the needles felt going in," His lips were at my ear now, his body pressed hard against mine, angry with myself for liking the proximity.

Eventually I did push him away, as hard as I possibly could. He stumbled a bit and caught his balance, a stupid grin on his face.

"I threw away the bottle because I remembered all those times you fucked me over. Leaving me stranded just so you could get your next fix." I said through gritted teeth.

He got close again, his demeanor different this time. He put his hand under my chin, forcing me to look up at him. "I want you to remember how angry you are right now, remember how much pain I
caused you so that next time, you wont be so easily tempted."

The purity in Aaron's intentions shocked me sometimes.