Trouble

98.
That was how many times I had called him in the last 2 days.
No one had heard from him, not his friends, or his parents, and I was officially worried.
I had been searching in places I thought he might have gone, but I couldn’t find him, I couldn’t contact him, and It was making me scared.
I had gotten everyone on to looking for him, surly someone knew where he was, what he was doing, all I wanted to know was if he was safe.
99.
“Nate, please, call me” I breathed, shaking, I hated this, I hated not knowing where he was.
I tapped my foot against the ground at the airport, frowning, the person at the desk was checking boarding’s, I had gotten a paper stating that I was on Nathan’s next of kin list and that meant that she was able to tell me any information I needed.
“No, no one by that name or passport number has checked into any flights international or domestic” The woman announced after about ten minutes.
“Really?” I asked “Ok, well thank you so much for your help” I said.
“No problem” The woman smiled back.
I took off now, sighing, it was a good thing that he hadn’t left the country, but he still could have left the city, he could be on a train, on a bus, anything, and that would be a hell of a lot harder to track down.
I left the airport slightly deflated, I was lost now as to what to do next.
I walked to my car and drove the distance to my next stop, the bus depo.
I had to check with them if they had seen Nathan, it was a long shot, he could have caught a cab, or a maxi, or a train, but I had to try all my options.
I asked the person at the desk, and they searched his name, just as the woman at the airport did.
“I’m sorry, the name’s not on the system deary” The woman said.
I closed my eyes, my heart breaking a little more “That’s fine” I whispered “Thanks for your help anyway” I added.
The woman nodded at me as I turned.
I walked to the car, this time driving to the major train station for around the country travel.
This was my last idea, this was my last hope, if he hadn’t caught a train, I would be once again at square one, and somewhere I couldn’t be back to.
I got to the desk, and initially they were admit that they couldn’t help me.
With persistence, I urged them to help, showing them my information, explaining the situation as best I could.
“We could check for you mam, but you do understand that we do not require name for purchase of tickets if paid in cash, you do?” The man asked.
I frowned, frustration flooding through me “I realise that, but he could have very well used a credit card, please, please check” I breathed.
The man nodded and began checking the system, he took an extremely long time and my frustrations were beginning to get the better of me, but I held onto my anger and watched him click the screen.
“I’m sorry mam, he’s not on the system” The man explained.
“Do you have footage of the ticker lenders?” I asked.
“We do not” The man said.
“Security?” I asked.
“We do, but all camera’s face exits and he may not have come in that way, mam, I’m afraid this is all I can help with” The man explained.
“OK” I breathed “Sorry for the trouble and thanks for your help” I mumbled, turning.
I was now almost certain that it was time to give up, time to just wait and see when and if he’d come back like I hoped he would.

When I got to the apartment I flicked my bag onto the bench.
I noticed instantly a message on the answering machine.
I clicked it.
“I knew you’d be out, so I called here, I can’t talk to you right now, the words wouldn’t come out right, please understand that I have to do this, I have to explore my options, and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to do that if I stayed. I need you to know how much I love you, and that I’m truly sorry for doing this. I hope that you will be able to forgive me, but I know that’s a long shot, so I’m letting you go, I’m letting you move on, because that’s something I have to do, I love you, goodbye”
I dropped to the ground, sobs echoing around me.
Tears streaming down my cheeks, I grabbed my phone.
100
“Nate, please don’t do this, please don’t run away from us because you think I’d push you into something you don’t want, I promise you I won’t, I promise you I will deal with it, I will accept your decision no matter what, I just want you here, I just need you to be with me because I can’t do this without you, I can’t be ok without you. Come back, please” I whispered, my voice cracking.

It was then that I broke, that everything around me began to fall apart.