Trouble

Lilly had told me that Nathan checked himself out as soon as he was checked over by a nurse, I had no idea why, so I tried to call him.
He hadn’t answered, and instantly I fell back into the place I had fallen when he first left, but I shook myself out and called his mother, getting his address, knowing I needed to see him.
I made my way there after breakfast, walking slowly and knocking on the door of the apartment when I reached the second floor.
The door was open by a shirtless Nathan and instantly I was speechless.
“Oh, hi” he breathed.
I found myself looking him up and down, out of habit, and instantly noticed the bruising on his side.
“After my check-up I wanted to see you, but you had checked out, why?” I breathed.
Nathan sighed, pulling open the door more “Did you want to come in?” He asked.
“No, I want to know why you left the hospital in such a hurry” I sounded.
“Most of my day’s now are spent in that damn hospital, I just needed out” Nathan sighed.
“I didn’t think about that” I sighed.
“Clearly” Nathan breathed.
“But besides that, you needed to get checked out, I mean, checked up” I said, shaking my head.
I noticed Nathan smiled a small smile before he shook his head “I did, and I’m fine, my voice was just shaken up from the fall, I have no broken bones, just a bruised rib” he shrugged.
“Ok” I breathed.
“Are you done interrogating me?” Nathan asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I’m done” I shrugged.
“If you want to be completely sure I’m fine maybe you should come in for coffee” Nathan sounded.
I bit my lip, my eyes wandering up and down again “I don’t think that’s a good idea” I breathed.
“Why?” Nathan asked.
“I just don’t necessarily think we need to spend time together alone” I mumbled.
“I would put a shirt on if that helps” Nathan sounded, a hint of a smile crossing his face again.
I frowned “Don’t do that” I breathed.
“Do what?” Nathan demanded.
“Smile when you think what you’ve said is funny” I frowned.
Nathan sighed “Ok, sorry” he breathed.
“I’m going to go” I sighed.
“You owe me breakfast by the way” Nathan sounded as I turned.
I bit my lip, not turning around “How do you figure that?” I asked.
“I risked my life to save you” Nathan said, I could tell he was smiling again without even looking at him.
I sighed “Bye Nate” I said, taking a step towards the lift.
“I think I’m not feeling so crash hot, I really do need you to stay” Nathan called out.
I spun around and instantly noticed the smile on his face, I shook my head and turned back, taking the lift down to the ground floor.
I sighed, reaching for the door.
“One coffee” his voice made me jump, I spun around and frowned “What…” I began.
“Stairs” Nathan sounded, pointing.
“You’re insane” I said, shaking my head.
“Come on” Nathan said “With the pain I’m in, I ran all the way down the stairs to get to you” he said.
“I didn’t ask you to do that, I didn’t ask you to jump to save me either” I breathed.
“Don’t you understand?” Nathan asked “I don’t need you to ask me, I didn’t want to save you, I needed to, I can’t imagine a world without you in it” he said
I felt a frown on my face “Nathan, I felt like that about you too, and then you left and I thought you were gone forever” I whispered.
“I thought…” Nathan attempted.
“Yeah, we are past it, but I’m never going to forget it Nate, I can’t just fall right back into your arms” I breathed.
“Ok” Nathan sighed.
“I really should go” I breathed.
“You said after your check-up you wanted to see me, why?” Nathan asked.
“I wanted to make sure you were ok” I said.
“Obviously you wanted to talk” Nathan commented.
“Yeah, I did, but I got frustrated when I found out you left” I breathed.
“I shouldn’t have done that without telling you” Nathan sighed.
“It isn’t about that, you had no obligation to tell me, I just, I felt like we were back there Nate, like we were back to when you left the first time and I got scared again” I breathed.
“I’m not going anywhere” Nathan breathed, attempting to reach for me.
I shook my head, backing away, all too aware of the fact that he was still shirtless.
“I’m going” I breathed, turning.
Nathan grabbed my hand, pulling me towards his chest, he didn’t say anything, he just pressed his lips to mine.

I slid from the bed, pulling myself from his grasp, I felt sick, I felt stupid, this was all such a mess. I felt tears trying to escape my eyes as I pulled on my jumper, fighting them back I pulled on my shoes.
“That shouldn’t have happened” I breathed, the smile that had been on his face was now replaced by a frown.
“What?” he breathed.
“I shouldn’t have let that happen” I whispered, shaking my head “I shouldn’t have even come here” I added.
“What are you talking about?” Nathan asked, attempting to reach out for me, I backed away.
“Don’t” I whispered “I can’t have a conversation with you right now, I can’t even look at you” I breathed, looking around, I couldn’t find my phone.
“Can you stop for a second” Nathan breathed, he slid from the bed to pull on his pants and attempted to distract me from searching, he grabbed both my hands lightly “What are you freaking out for?” He asked.
That was what made me lose it.
I angrily pulled my hands from his grip and shook my head “You hurt me Nathan” I snapped, unable to keep the tears away now “You hurt me so much and letting you back in, it can’t happen, I can’t be stupid enough to do that, I can’t fall into this again” I hissed.
“What do you mean fall into this again?” Nathan frowned.
“From the beginning you were lying to me, our relationship, it was built on lies, and I forgave you for it, but I can’t willingly put myself through a relationship with you again, do you understand that?” I asked.
Nathan’s face fell “So what did this mean then? We just…” He attempted.
“I know what we just did, and it meant nothing, it was stupid, it was a mistake and I need to leave” I breathed, finally finding my phone.
He let me go, not protesting, not chasing me, this time, he let me go.
As soon as the lift door closed I broke down, I felt my body shake as I dropped to the ground in tears.