Status: not really sure if these are good so I'm sorry if they suck
4 a.m. Thoughts
you ruined me and I let you
I miss you so fucking much it hurts and I don't think I'm breathing properly.
I love you. I love you so much and I hate myself for not being good enough for you.
I am so tired of crying and feeling lost, please come back p l e a s e. I never got to tell you that your smile gives me hope and the mention of your name used to make everything so much brighter.
I think if you held a knife to my throat, I'd still adore you. I will always adore you oh god.
You can't just fucking leave and come back whenever you are bored; I am not a hobby, I am not a bad habit that you can slip back into when your life is at a standstill.
Fuck you, I just want to be happy again, I want to be enough for someone, I want to stop thinking of you every waking moment. And the worst part is that I find parts of you in everyone and everything; I knew you were a bad idea from the start but that didn't stop me from allowing you to leave fingerprints all over my existence. I look in the mirror and see a stranger that you've shaped with your own hands. God, you changed everything. I wish you hadn't changed me.
I love you. I love you so much and I hate myself for not being good enough for you.
I am so tired of crying and feeling lost, please come back p l e a s e. I never got to tell you that your smile gives me hope and the mention of your name used to make everything so much brighter.
I think if you held a knife to my throat, I'd still adore you. I will always adore you oh god.
You can't just fucking leave and come back whenever you are bored; I am not a hobby, I am not a bad habit that you can slip back into when your life is at a standstill.
Fuck you, I just want to be happy again, I want to be enough for someone, I want to stop thinking of you every waking moment. And the worst part is that I find parts of you in everyone and everything; I knew you were a bad idea from the start but that didn't stop me from allowing you to leave fingerprints all over my existence. I look in the mirror and see a stranger that you've shaped with your own hands. God, you changed everything. I wish you hadn't changed me.
♠ ♠ ♠
for my first love. I regret wasting a year on you. I still feel sick when I hear your name but that's okay.