I Know I Shouldn't Look But I Can't Turn Away

You should have known better than to trust “insider tips” you find online.

Of course that stupid post on tumblr was a hoax. It claimed Oliver and Josh would stay at a hotel close to the venue and they wouldn’t mind giving autographs to fans who waited for them there.

It seemed so serious, the address and everything.. Well, at least you’re not the only one who fell for it. There are seven other girls standing around you. It was a group of ten but three already left with a disappointed sigh. And honestly, you think they were right.

Oliver and Josh are nowhere to be seen and you have been standing here for two hours now, some of the other girls for even longer.

“Honestly, why would they stay at a hotel anyway. They’re probably sound asleep in their tour bus already.” the blonde girl with the snake bites says loudly. Her voice sounds tired and annoyed. The one with the super cool band shirt agrees: “We’re making fools of ourselves. Let’s go home.”

“Yeah, I have school tomorrow, I have to go, too.”

“Fuck, me too. Okay, I give up.”

“Amy, wait for me, i’m going home, too.”

You watch them turn around and walk away, their chattering getting less and less audible until they’re so far away that you don’t understand a word anymore.

Now you and the tall, pale girl are the only ones who are still standing there. You look at her, wanting to ask if she’ll go, too. But she’s already on her phone. “Mom, can you pick me up? Yes..Yes, sure, i’ll wait for you there.”

She looks at you, shrugs and walks away without even saying goodbye.

Fuck Tumblr, you think bitterly. It’s dark, you’re cold, you’re in a city you don’t know well and it’s all for nothing. Even worse, you’ll have to walk home all alone. Fuck you, friends who didn’t want to go with me because “that’s ridiculous”, you think..And sigh loudly. They were right, after all.

You take one last look at the hotel. It’s not a fancy one but it’s cute, like a little cottage.

It would be a nice place for a romantic holiday. The blonde girl was right, why on earth would they stay there.

You start walking and you’re just around the corner when a familiar voice stops you in your tracks.

“Trust me, the street is empty now.”

Josh, you think. That’s definitely Joshs voice! You want to turn around and run to him.

It was not a hoax! You’ll finally meet your favorite band member!

“Hopefully, I was close to calling the police.” you hear Oliver reply. “How did they find us? It was a secret!”

And suddenly you don’t feel like running to them anymore. A wave of guilt crashes down on you.

The sudden realization that them staying in this hotel was private information hits you hard. You didn’t post it online and whoever did, made it seem as if it was meant for fans to know, so it’s not all your fault. But that doesn’t make you feel any less guilty. I feel like a stalker, you think.

You never meant to be creepy or harass them. You’ll just walk away quickly and they’ll never know you were still standing here. You take a few steps forward… and notice you’re trapped.

There’s a fence… You accidentally walked into the hotel’s garden! Fuck, you thought this way would lead to a public street. What to do now? You feel panic running through your blood.

If you go back around the corner, Oliver and Josh will see you and think you’re a stalker. Or even worse, Oliver will make it true and call the police on you. But you can’t climb over the fence, that would make too much noise. What to do, what to do? Breathe, you remind yourself, and don’t freak out. You’ll just keep standing here until they go back into the hotel or wherever and then escape.

The good thing is, they can’t see you but you can hear them. So you’ll notice if they walk your way..and if they do you’ll probably drop dead from embarrassment anyway.

Or did they already walk away? You listen carefully. No, nothing. Maybe you can escape now..No, wait, there’s a noise. A noise of surprise.

“What was that for?” Olivers voice sounds surprised, too.

You hear a soft chuckle. “For you getting all worked up about it. Relax, they were just being fans. And they’ll find out eventually anyway.”

You feel a spark of curiosity. What is Josh talking about?”

“I know.” Oliver replies and adds, so quietly that you have to take a quick, noiseless step nearer to hear it: “That’s not a reason to kiss me in public, though.”