Status: I wrote this years ago. Its pretty bad but I think I had a good idea.
Orange Lights Dance
1/1
I needed to calm down. A cigarette usually did the trick, but this is intense. My lighter would spark, but the flame wouldn't start. One, two, three. It still wasn't working. Four, five, six. It was about time that I bought a new one. Seven, eight, nine. The gas station isn't too far away. Maybe I need to get out anyway. Hopefully I'll calm down a bit by the time I come back to our house. The house we bought together.
I yanked my car door open and dropped down into the hard leather seat. My hands reached for the ring in the glove compartment. How could she do this to me? I started up the car. It seemed to tremble just as aggressively as I was shaking. I drove down the main road towards the gas station, going slightly faster than I should have been.
Taking a deep breath, I try to open the door to the station as calmly as I could. It didn't work out. I still threw the door open in a swift and reckless motion. She was on my mind. This was her fault and she knew better. My eyes made contact with some lighter fluid before I actually went over to the isle with matches and such. It was happening again. Those angry, effortless thoughts that happened at moments like this. She should have known I'd be angry. She knows I have anger issues, but the thoughts I'm having now are like no other. I've never felt this...crazy isn't the word to describe it. Insane and hopeless. Betrayed. I ended up buying matches and lighter fluid. It wasn't intentional, though. I felt possessed by these thoughts and emotions.
"This is it.", I thought myself.
"This is where I snap. This is when I lose it."
After purchasing the matches and lighter fluid, I made my way back home. One reoccurring image was in my head, aside from what she did. The spark from my lighter. Next, it was how weak she was. She was light enough to carry with ease. My mind was going to dark and foreign areas, until I started to pull into the driveway. Her car was there now. My breath sped up as fast as my heartbeat. I hurried out of the car, slamming the door of the car as I made my way to the door of the house. The matches were in my pocket and the lighter fluid was in my hand.
I stormed right past her cries and made my way to the duct tape in the garage, then made my way back to her.
"Please! Forgive me! I know I fucked up!", she screamed and cried.
"You didn't just fuck up, you fucked someone else!", I responded.
"I didn't ever mean to hurt you or make you angry. I'm so sorry! I don't know what I was thinking!"
"I don't understand what you were thinking either!"
We could've yelled at each other for hours and get nowhere. Instead, my darkening thoughts were making decisions for me.
"Look, let's go our room.", I said.
She seemed confused. I could tell that she didn't know why I wanted her to go in a specific room, but she followed me into the bedroom. I acted as if I was going to hug her, but I quickly lifted her up and threw her on the bed. I then pinned her down and proceeded to cover her in duct tape. All she could do was kick and scream. After a few minutes of struggling, I managed to strap her down to the bed with duct tape. Afterwards, my hands grabbed for the lighter fluid. Soon, the liquid drenched both her and the bed as well as a portion of the carpet.
The match sparked. The small flame danced on the tip of the matchstick. It was at this moment that I wanted to go for a romantic approach. I lit some candles with the match and turned the lights off.
She continued crying and screaming. I placed one of the lit candlesticks on the bed. It balanced upright, but she was squirming and it soon fell over, making contact with the lighter fluid.
Looking from the outside of the house, it was a beautiful sight. The orange flames danced gracefully in the night sky. The smoke slowly faded into the clouds. Some may call it a disaster, but nothing was ever this mesmerizing. And it all started with a spark...
I yanked my car door open and dropped down into the hard leather seat. My hands reached for the ring in the glove compartment. How could she do this to me? I started up the car. It seemed to tremble just as aggressively as I was shaking. I drove down the main road towards the gas station, going slightly faster than I should have been.
Taking a deep breath, I try to open the door to the station as calmly as I could. It didn't work out. I still threw the door open in a swift and reckless motion. She was on my mind. This was her fault and she knew better. My eyes made contact with some lighter fluid before I actually went over to the isle with matches and such. It was happening again. Those angry, effortless thoughts that happened at moments like this. She should have known I'd be angry. She knows I have anger issues, but the thoughts I'm having now are like no other. I've never felt this...crazy isn't the word to describe it. Insane and hopeless. Betrayed. I ended up buying matches and lighter fluid. It wasn't intentional, though. I felt possessed by these thoughts and emotions.
"This is it.", I thought myself.
"This is where I snap. This is when I lose it."
After purchasing the matches and lighter fluid, I made my way back home. One reoccurring image was in my head, aside from what she did. The spark from my lighter. Next, it was how weak she was. She was light enough to carry with ease. My mind was going to dark and foreign areas, until I started to pull into the driveway. Her car was there now. My breath sped up as fast as my heartbeat. I hurried out of the car, slamming the door of the car as I made my way to the door of the house. The matches were in my pocket and the lighter fluid was in my hand.
I stormed right past her cries and made my way to the duct tape in the garage, then made my way back to her.
"Please! Forgive me! I know I fucked up!", she screamed and cried.
"You didn't just fuck up, you fucked someone else!", I responded.
"I didn't ever mean to hurt you or make you angry. I'm so sorry! I don't know what I was thinking!"
"I don't understand what you were thinking either!"
We could've yelled at each other for hours and get nowhere. Instead, my darkening thoughts were making decisions for me.
"Look, let's go our room.", I said.
She seemed confused. I could tell that she didn't know why I wanted her to go in a specific room, but she followed me into the bedroom. I acted as if I was going to hug her, but I quickly lifted her up and threw her on the bed. I then pinned her down and proceeded to cover her in duct tape. All she could do was kick and scream. After a few minutes of struggling, I managed to strap her down to the bed with duct tape. Afterwards, my hands grabbed for the lighter fluid. Soon, the liquid drenched both her and the bed as well as a portion of the carpet.
The match sparked. The small flame danced on the tip of the matchstick. It was at this moment that I wanted to go for a romantic approach. I lit some candles with the match and turned the lights off.
She continued crying and screaming. I placed one of the lit candlesticks on the bed. It balanced upright, but she was squirming and it soon fell over, making contact with the lighter fluid.
Looking from the outside of the house, it was a beautiful sight. The orange flames danced gracefully in the night sky. The smoke slowly faded into the clouds. Some may call it a disaster, but nothing was ever this mesmerizing. And it all started with a spark...