You Stupid Girl

I woke up in bed with a headache. How did I get home? My mind just felt like a mess and it didn't help with the headache. I let out a groan as I sat up in bed just to find Damon frowning at me from the dresser he was sitting on. I had to blink a few times just to make sure it wasn't a hallucination. When I was sure it was real, I got out of bed and went over to him before wrapping my arms him.

"Kaitlyn, I'm so sorry," he murmured as he wrapped his arms around me.

"I missed you." I pulled back from him when he didn't say anything. I could tell that something was bothering him just by the way he was looking at me. "What?" I asked carefully as I took a few steps back so he could hop off the dresser.

"Kaitlyn, I was too late," he muttered, confusing me. He held my face between his hands as he forced me to look at him. "You died, Kaitlyn. You're in transition. Your head will keep feeling worse until you get blood to finish the transition, and if you don't finish the process, you will die." Tears began falling as I took this in and Damon wiped them away. "You have a decision to make."

It couldn't be true. He was lying and I just had a headache. They never let me die before even though I was close to it. Did my luck with fate finally end? No, it couldn't have.

"You're lying," I accused him as I pushed him away. "You wouldn't have let me die! You were my hero who always saved me! You didn't let me die..." I sat down on the bed as I placed my head in my hands. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I shrugged it off. "Just leave me alone!" I heard him let out a sigh before leaving me to myself.

As the hours passed I became more in terms to what was happening to me. Like Damon had said, my head was ten times as worse and I wanted the pain to stop. Not only was that happening, but I was remembering stuff. It was as if my whole mind was unraveling. The more I was learning, the more I felt betrayed by Damon. Of course I knew Damon had compelled me multiple times.

There was a knock on the door and I told whoever it was to go away. Of course they did the exact opposite. My eyes fell on Elena and Stefan as they came into my room. I half listened as they apologized for not being able to keep me alive as well. They explained to me that they all had split up in hopes of finding me in time since they didn't know my exact location. Due to Damon's request, Stefan had given me his blood just in case things got real bad, in which it did. I was a bit disappointed with that fact since I had wished it was Damon's blood. Guess I was always used to Damon giving me his blood in hopes of keeping me alive.

"Whatever choice you make we will support you," Stefan said to me before bringing me in to a hug. Elena hugged me after him and they left me alone again.

I tried to figure out the pros and cons of becoming a vampire. The cons of being vampire were a lot longer than the pros. Death sounded ten times better than being a vampire. All I had ever seen in vampires were mostly the bad in them. They were monsters that weren't suppose to exist. I didn't want to become a monster who killed people. There was still some hope for me. Maybe I would turn out like Elena, Stefan, and Caroline who only seemed to hurt people if they had to. I didn't exactly want to turn out like Damon, or even like Klaus who I had stories about what he did. All I wanted was too live a little longer, but there would be a price to pay. I would have to drink blood in order to survive. I would be immortal. I would see many deaths along the way that I won't want to see. I will probably kill people and I didn't want the blood on my hands. My dreams I had were all crushed as well. I would never have a family of my own. I wouldn't become old and grey. I would be forever eighteen until the day I completely died. I could die soon and everything would be over with, or I could try to live life as a vampire. It was all my choice and I had to choose soon.

Time slowly kept passing as I got weaker. I came up with my decision so I called for Elena. She was quite surprised when she entered my room. Guess she thought I would call for Damon or Stefan. I slipped my boots on as I stood up. She gave me a questioning look and I nodded. "I'm ready."

We sneaked out of the house at my request and she searched for someone to be my prey. We found a man who looked to be somewhere in his late twenties jogging down the street. Even though he was quite a ways from me I ached for his blood. Elena went over to him before compelling him while I stayed back and watched. She soon had the guy go stand off in the shadows while she came back to me. She asked me if I was sure I wanted to do this and I said yes. She promised she would help me so I wouldn't kill the man and I trusted her. We went over into the shadows where the man was and I went straight for his neck. The more blood I drink the more I didn't want to stop. Elena finally managed to pull me away before compelling the man to leave and that an animal attacked him. I stared at her in shock when I realized what I had just done. I was now one of them and there was no turning back.