You Stupid Girl

"Wake up." I heard Damon say before feeling a pillow hit me. I let out a groan as I sat up, sending him a glare.

"What the hell?" I muttered in annoyance. It was too early for me to be awake.

"Stefan and Elena had things to attend to and he asked me to take you out today. Now get dressed so we can go!" Damon said before closing the door to let me have the privacy I needed.

I quickly got changed since I wasn't going to test Damon's patience today. While doing so I sarcastically thanked Stefan for leaving me with Damon for the day. I'm sure that was his plan all along in the first place. He knew we currently weren't on the best of terms and Damon was barely speaking to me unless he had to. I would be amazed if neither of us kill each other by the end of the day.

Damon said nothing to me as we left the house and got into his car. He didn't say a word while in the car either. In fact, he wouldn't even glance my direction when I began balling my fists up at my sides. I was beginning to think that Damon was going to unleash me to the world to cause chaos. We both knew I was struggling with my hunger for human blood. I knew that I might have a hard time controlling it, but didn't realize that very few people could possibly make me lose control. And those people were jogging on the sidewalk.

"I can't do this, Damon," I confessed as I broke the silence between us. I closed my eyes as I tried to calm myself. My fingernails were digging into the palms of my skin as I clenched my fist tighter. When Damon didn't say anything was when I really began wishing to be with anyone but him.

I felt like I was slowly beginning to lose control. I could make out multiple heartbeats around me even though I was in a car. I could smell blood and could almost taste it. My fangs were out and I quickly covered them as well as my hideous vampire face. I bent over so I was no longer seen in the car. I definitely couldn't do this. All the vampires of Mystic Falls would be exposed because of me and that couldn't happen.

"Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn, look at me," Damon's voice broke my thoughts. It was the first time that I realized he was trying to comfort me. I could feel his hand on my back going in soothing circles. As I began calming down I took a peek at him through my fingers. He took my hands and moved them so he could see my face. "You can do this. I know you can. I know it's hard to control it, and it doesn't get much easier over time. You have to believe in yourself." I nodded my head as I sat back up to see we were parked outside of a clothing store.

"We're going shopping?" I half groaned as I began feeling like my old self. Stores meant a lot of people and the last thing I was wanting to do was be around a lot of people and shop for clothes.

"I believe a certain girl asked me for more clothes not that long ago because her clothes were all dirty," he sent me a smirk as I smiled. It was something I had forgot about until he brought it up. Then again I didn't think he would seriously take me shopping to buy more clothes.

"Well, I believe I washed my clothes and already bought myself more," I told him.

"So, you don't need more clothes?" he questioned, sounding a bit hopeful. This time it was me who smirked since I knew he didn't want to go shopping.

"A girl can never have too many clothes." He rolled his eyes before getting out of the car. I hesitated for a moment before getting out also. Damon didn't seem mad at me anymore, or at least not as mad. I knew he wouldn't let me expose what we were. He would help me control my lust for blood. Not because he didn't want me to expose vampires or just being nice. I knew it was because he still cared for me deep down. I let a smile grace my lips as I followed him into the store.

It didn't take me long before I felt the strong urge to feed and my fists were balled up to my sides. Quite a few people were at the checkouts and it all hit me as we walked past them. Their blood flowing through their veins. The steady pounding of their hearts against their chests. It was as if it was calling for me. I could drain each of them in a matter of seconds. My eyes fell on the blonde cashier before landing on the mother who was getting onto her young son that was standing in the shopping cart. They were closest to me and all I was wanting to do was rip them apart and have them as a snack. I felt disgusted at myself for thinking such things since one was just a young boy.

A hand grabbed my balled up fist as I glanced up at Damon. I was close to having a breakdown. I realized why Damon had tried to protect me and wanted me to stay a human. I wasn't cut out to be a vampire. It took me until now to realize that. It was hard to stay in control when your instincts wanted you to kill. A monster wasn't something I wanted to become. I didn't want to kill innocent people, especially children.

"Kaitlyn." Damon broke me from my thoughts once again. I realized we were near the back of the store in the men's clothing. I hadn't even realized we had been walking.

"I can't do this," I whispered.

"Yes, you can." He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. "I won't let you kill anybody or even hurt them."

"I can't." I shook my head this time as I avoided his gaze. He let out a sigh before holding my face between his head so I had to look at him.

"You can, Kaitlyn. I promise that you won't hurt anyone. You can't just give up yet." He pulled me into a hug when he saw that I was about to start crying. "Don't give up," he said where I could barely hear him.

My arms were wrapped around him tightly as my head laid on his chest. I knew people walking by were probably wondering what the hell was going on, but I didn't care.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "For not listening to you. You were right." He didn't say anything, but he did kiss the top of my head.

"Do you still want to shop or go home?" he asked.

"Go home. I didn't want to shop today anyway," I said as I pulled away from his embrace. I saw him smirking since he didn't want to be here either.

His hand held mine as we walked back to the front of the store to leave. I kept my attention on him since it was easier for me to ignore my urges to drain people. I smiled to myself as we made it outside because I knew Damon was once again right. I could do this. All I had to do was believe in myself.