Paper Cranes

I didn't know how long I was sitting on that bench. It felt like a lifetime. My eyes were puffy from all the crying I did up to the point where I couldn't cry anymore. There were just no more tears to be shed. So, I sat blankly on the bench. I didn't know what to do or where to go. I couldn't go back there or to Jared's place. It wasn't right. I couldn't face him right now because I knew I would kill him if I saw his face.

"Rowena?!"

I glanced up to see Shannon coming out of his car. He ran towards me, he was in a white t-shirt with shorts. What was he doing here?

"Ohmygod! Are you alright?! We've been looking for you!" Shannon blurted out. "Jared's worried sick!"

I snorted. "Jared?!" I rolled my eyes. "You wish! He's an ass!" I yelled.

Shannon sighed. "Okay. He is. But will you follow me back? You are shivering," he said, his hand on my shoulder. I looked at him. He seemed sincere and concerned.

"Come on, I'll bring you to my place," he said, guiding me to his car. I got in without any protest. He called Tomo and informed him that I was alright. The drive to Shannon's place was silent. He didn't ask any questions. I guessed Jared told him everything.

His house wasn't as big as Jared's but it was still considered as huge. He led me inside and handed me a few of his clothes and told me to take a nice long bath. I did as told and had a nice bubble bath, trying to push out all the anguish and horrible thoughts from my mind. I put on Shannon's large white t-shirt and Adidas sweatpants. I took a look at the girl in the mirror. Her eyes were swollen and she looked like a wreck. Maybe she was just like what the two girls had said she was. She didn't deserve or suit the life of being a celebrity's girlfriend. She was completely different and far from that.

Suddenly, I had an urge to do something out of the ordinary. As I searched through Shannon's cabinet, I found a pair of scissors. Without thinking, I grabbed a handful of my waist long hair and cut it all off. I repeated the same action with the rest of my hair and the end result was a crew cut short hair which reached the end of my chin. I was still adjusting to the new look as I cleaned up the place.

I heard Shannon knocked on the door. "Rowena?"

"I'll be out in a sec," I replied. I got out and Shannon gasped.

"Your hair!"

I touched it. "I know," I said.

"Erm… well… you want something to eat?" he asked, handing me a packet of Lays. I took it gratefully and started eating. He brought me to the living room which had a large flat screen tv with a Playstation and DVDs and CDs. He was watching some random program on the television.

"So, how's your ankle?" he asked.

"It still hurts when I walk," I replied matter-of-factly. "Most probably it'll heal in a week's time or something."

Shannon nodded nonchalantly. He left the room and came back shortly with a glass of ice water. He handed me the glass and I took it gratefully, drinking the cooling water. "I know it's not my place to get involved and you may not want to hear this now. But Rowena, Jared… he… he always have a soft spot for women, I would say," Shannon paused, taking a look at my reaction which was nothing but one full of anger. "If you've seen him in interviews, you would know. He likes to… flirt with women; it's something he does automatically since he was a teenager. It just comes naturally. And sometimes… with all the flirting, you know some girls, they'll get all excited that Jared Leto is flirting with them and they'll get all over him. So, he usually ended up being kissed by some random girl," Shannon explained.

I sent him a look of disbelief. "You expect me to buy that explanation, Shannon?"

"No, Rowena. It's true. Believe me, I'm his brother for so long now and I know how he's like. He didn't tell me to tell you this. In fact, he never wants me to be too close to any of his girlfriends just in case I say anything. He thinks he can handle it himself but it never works out as you can see," Shannon sighed. "It's just Jared is like this and don't take him wrongly. He may be kissing another woman but he still loves you, Rowena."

I laughed. "Are you crazy Shannon?! You should've seen him! He was like… all over her! And she's like… all over him as well!" I exclaimed, hands flying in all direction at the image of the horrible night. "And you know what?! When I was in the bathroom, I heard people saying I looked… pshh! And that he doesn't deserve someone like me and I don't deserve someone like him. That both of us are two completely different creatures and it's crazy that we're even going out!" A tear escaped my eye and flowed down my cheek.

"Oh… Rowena," Shannon said sympathetically and came over to the couch where I was sitting on and wrapped me in his arms. The one drop of tear turned into an uncontrollable sob. I couldn't help it. "It just hurts so much, Shannon! To see him… so… you know?" I said in a muffled voice as I covered my face onto Shannon's clothes.

"I know, Ro," he strokes my hair, whispering comforting words into my ears, trying to calm me down. "All I'm asking you is to reconsider this and when Jared wants to talk to you, listen to his explanation, alright Ro?"

I nodded. I didn't know what else to do anymore. I knew I couldn't avoid Jared forever even though I wanted to do just that.

"You know, to be frank with you, I have never seen Jared this happy in a very long time," Shannon said.

I glanced up at him, checking his eyes to see whether he was lying or he was telling the truth. "What do you mean?" I asked, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.

"Well," he brushed aside my hair which covered my face. "The last serious relationship which Jared was really happy with and took seriously was with Cameroon Diaz," Shannon announced. I stared at him, gaping. He nodded. "I bet Jared didn't tell you much about his past relationships huh?"

I nodded.

"He doesn't like to talk about it. He gets really down and all that whenever he thinks about it," Shannon said. "You see, he was dating Cameroon for about two years plus and they were great together. She was this extraordinary person with a great personality and plus she's beautiful. And when they met, they just hit it off like this," Shannon snapped his fingers. "Then, they got engaged."

"They got engaged?!" I repeated in shock.

"Yup, no joke," he said. "Then, suddenly, Cameroon just called it quits. She couldn't take it anymore. He was very much dedicated to the band's first record and to his movies. So, they were spending less and less time together. And Cameroon just called it off and that was it! Jared didn't even manage to say anything to her. He just accepted the fact and barely talks about it. I knew he was hurt badly, when I asked about it he just brushed it aside with a joke or something, finding every opportunity to avoid talking about it. From then on, he was very cautious about starting a serious relationship. You were the first real relationship he got into since then. And this time I could see he was much happier with you than when he was with Cameroon. I guess it's just you being you," Shannon smiled. "Do you know, you have this vibe around you, Rowena? This innocence which made everyone feel like protecting you and the best thing is you didn't even know about it which is a good thing because you won't use it to take advantage. And then, there's your heart. You're just a very nice, kind, caring person. You're funny and serious at the same time. You're just a very beautiful person," Shannon concluded.

I was still staring at him in disbelief. I couldn't believe what he had just said to me. That was a lot of information to digest in one shot. First, it was about Jared's relationship with Cameroon. Then, it was about me! It was about why he loves me?! I always questioned myself that but never got an answer and now that I heard it from someone, it just sounded insane.

Shannon smiled. "All I'm saying is take tonight as a bump in the relationship. There're always the hard times in relationships which if you look at it this way, it may be a good thing because it tests out the patience and level of understanding and compromise both parties have. Whether you guys can make it through this or not? So, just give him another shot, Ro. Alright?"

I didn't answer him but I could feel a small smile appearing on my face. Shannon's smile widened at the sign and stood up, holding a hand out. "Let's get you to bed. It's been a rough night," he said. He led me to a room down the hallway. There was a single size bed and it was made neatly. He tucked me into bed and for the first time in a very long time, I felt like I was five again.

"Goodnight, Ro. Sweet dreams," he whispered as he switched off the light.

"Goodnight, Shannon," I replied. "And thank you for everything."