Let the Flames Begin

I watched Hayley fidget on the edge of the couch. Constantly crossing and recrossing her legs, playing with her thumbs, twirling her hair. She was clearing beyond nervous. I mean. I don't blame her. I was too when this happened to me. It's probably (outside of what happened to Hayley) the scariest thing I'd ever done or been through in my life. The thought that you may be losing someone, or several people you care and love is enough to pretty much break any human.

"You okay?"

"I dunno... I guess so. I mean.. I just.. I've never done this before, and I know they're going to hate me. They're going to be ready to kill us both probably."

"Yeah well. They'd have to get through me to get to you. And I'm a lot bigger than you are." I said cracking a small smile. I wasn't big by any means, but I was more built than she was.

"Yeah well... You've never seen them disappointed in me. Which, they're going to be."

"Do you love me?"

"Well, of course I love you."

"Then everything will work out darling. Don't worry your pretty little mind."

She took a deep breath right as the door bell rang.

"Well... It's not or never." she whispered.

Her parents were here. Hayley waited til we were together atleast a month before she decided she was going to tell her parents about us. She was scared. I knew she was. I was scared for her too. Her parents were probably the most religious people there were in the state of Tennessee. If it was against the bible, they were against it and they'd do anything in there power to get rid of it. Homosexuals, abortion, tattoos, any other piercing than your earlobe. You know the rest. Hayley never grew up with those view. Was she religious? Yeah, but not to the extent of her parents. She got tattoos, she wore tight pants. She believed people had the right to love who they wanted how they wanted, and she believed women had the right to an abortion, but only in certain situations.

"Hey sweetie!" her mom said giving me the biggest hug.

"Hey Mrs. Williams. Long time no see."

"It has, you've lost weight."

Now she's just trying to find something nice to say

"Oh really? Thank you. You look great yourself."

"Carrie, it's so good to see you again. You've been doing pretty good for yourself." her dad said looking around my house.

We sat around, Hayley next to me on the couch, her parents next to each other on the loveseat. This is how it was supposed to be whether Hayley chose to be with someone of the same sex or not.

"So, baby, what did you want to tell us." her dad said his face twisted trying to read her mind.

"Oh uhm.. I uhm.."

"Well, Hayley? What's wrong? You can tell us anything."

"No mom. I actually can't tell you everything because if I did you'd hate me for the rest of both of our lives."

"What's the worst thing you could possibly say to us to make us hate you."

"That I love someone.."

"Oh Hayley! That's fantastic! When can we meet him."

"Ermm... It's not a 'him' persay...and you already have."

"What are you talking about, it's not a him. It best be a him the bible says --"

"Stop right there. She's trying her best to keep her composure so don't bring any of the biblical mess in my house and break her down piece by piece. She's been a wreck all day worrying about telling her deepest secret to you." I said my voice rising with anger.

"I love a woman. I love Carrie. And she's been my girlfriend for six weeks. I'm so sorry.." Hayley ran upstairs to the bedroom in tears.

"Do you see what you did, you ruined my daughter." her dad said standing up.

"I ruined her. I beg to differ. I think you're stupid biblical non homosexuality bullshit did. She's been perfectly content and happy with me up until you got here. I'll be damned if anyone, including her parents ruins her happiness. I've loved your daughter for so long no that your ridiculous judgement is not welcome here. If you choose to hate me you're welcome to. I'm use to people hating me for being a lesbian but don't you dare hate that beautiful woman upstairs who feels like her world just came crashing down. You know where to door is, don't let it hit you were your oh so beloved god split you." I watched as they walked out of my house mumbling homophobic slurs along the way. I was livid. I was beyond livid.

I couldn't resist it. I grabbed my vodka from the bar and made myself a drink. After that fight, I knew shit was about to go down between Hayley and I. I couldn't handle it. I drank a few mixed drinks and felt the buzz start to kick in. I walked upstairs to the bedroom and opened the door. Hayley was crying silently on the bed in the dark.

"Baby? You alright."

"No.. No I'm not. I'd rather die than feel like I just disappointed my parents. I've always wanted to do nothing more than make them happy and now they hate me."

"No, they hate me. Not you. I ruined you in their opinion." I said sitting next to her rubbing her back.

"You smell like pure alcohol."

"I had a drink..Or three. It happens. I'm fine."

"You know I hate when you'r---"

"Yes, I already know Hayley. I've been sober for two years. A few drinks won't do anything."

She sighed sitting up to lay into my chest.

"I just want to be happy, and I want everyone to understand that the decisions I make are to keep me happy. I didn't mean to hurt anyone.."

"I know Hayles..I know. It'll be okay. I'll take the fall for all of it if it makes you feel better."

"But you didn't do anything other than make me realize what I really am."

"Which is?"

"That I love you. And I always have I just didn't know it. And it fucking sucks that no one understand this except our friends. I Just... I know I'll never ever be able to see my parents again after today.."

"Yes you will. Just give them time. When I told my parents, not to make you feel better, but they didn't talk to me for months, but eventually they came around. And they met my ex and realized I wasn't changing. Your parents will too babe."

"I sure hope you're right."