You Saved Me Once, Never Again

Some people say that when a loved one passes away, you should live for them. Carry on some of their habits you shared. But what if that loved one was the reason your still alive anyway? What if without them, you would already be dead? What if they died on the day that is meant to be one of the happiest moments in your life? Your wedding.

Here I am, sat at the grave of my deceased fiance. I remember the day we met like it was yesterday. I shoved past him, like I did everyone else, thinking he would do the same as them. Curse at me, shake their head and walk off. But he didnt. He followed, if he hadnt I would be dead right now.

*FLASHBACK*

Crying my eyes out after finding out my little brother, who happened to be the only person I cared about. The only thing worth living for, had died. Cancer. It was our foster parents fault. Yeah, thats right. Our real parents died, well, they were murdered. My brother, Alex, doesnt know. He thought they died in a car accident. Thats what I told him anyway. I was 17, old enough to know the truth. He was 4. So yeah, it was Joannes fault. The filthy smoker. Nothing against anyone who smokes, I have friends who do. But she was filthy, how she was allowed to foster us I dont know. But she was a chain smoker. Never seen without a cancer stick hanging from her lips.

Im running now, thoughts constantly racing through my mind. He was only 6! No child, should die at that age. I dont know what to do, theres nothing to live for now. I know where im going. Theres a building that no-one goes anywhere near. Rumours of it being haunted. I know im headed there. Jumping off is certain death. Suicide. Im shoving past everyone slowing me down, not bothering to look up. Just crying and running. Falling occasionally, gettin back up and running, still not able to keep back the tears. Who can blame me?

Everyone passes by me, cursing loudly and shaking their heads in disgrace. Apart from one. He tries to stop me, find out if im OK. I simply shake my head and keep running. Im 19, with no family or friends. No life. The only thing that could make me happy right now, is death itself. To be with the ones I love.

I get to the building, run up the stairs and climb to the roof. Just as I get to the edge I hear a loud bang. A door slamming. I turn round and see that man stood there. "Go away!" I scream, I dont want him to whitness my break to freedom. Its my way out, I dont want an audience.

"Please, I dont know who you are. . . But I do know your hurting." He sounds so genuine, like he might care. No, he doesnt care. Just wants to build false hope like everyone else. "Please, step away from the edge. I know we dont know each other, but I want to get to know you. I get a feeling this was meant to happen tonight, I was meant to follow you. I probably sound like a crazy guy, but I dont know. Please just talk to me? Or at least talk to someone. Dont jump."

"What you going to do about it?"

"Nothing. If you decide to jump, I will look away. You wont want an audience, but I dont want to have to do that. Im Daniel. Whats your name?"

I dont know why, but I felt I might be able to trust this guy, Daniel. "Im Fiona. What do you want?"

"To buy you dinner. You look like you havent eaten in days."

"I havent."

"Well then, come on. I dont know why, but I feel like looking after you will make us both happy."

*END FLASHBACK*

Oh, how right you were, It did make us both happy. I felt loved, like someone cared. You saved me Daniel. Why couldnt I do the same for you? I shouldve fought them, stopped them. I owed it to you, but what did I do? I hid, you told me to, but it doesnt change the fact I let them get you. You fought trying to save me, again. And on our wedding day. "I miss you. I dont know if you can hear me, but I miss you. I love you Daniel. Always will, I promise. You saved me, I hope you can hear this." Im sat here re-reading the marks on the headstone.

Daniel Jones.
Born July 13th 1983. Died December 24th 2004.
Darling son, fiance and friend. Even saviour.
He will be sorely missed.

I stroke the letters as I read them.

*DANIEL POV* [a/n im aware he is deceased]

Shes there, the love of my life is sat crying at my grave. She thinks its her fault. Oh, how wrong she is. I told her to hide, I didnt want them to get her aswell. I knew they would kill me, but I didnt go down without a fight. I wish I could hold her, wipe away the tears and make her smile. If only she could hear me screaming that I miss her too. I know she cant, im just a spirit now. Just a soul that will hang around until she passes too. And even though I want her with me, I want her to live on.

I see her pull out something silver and shiny. At first I think its just a necklace or even the ring I gave her, then I see it. A knife. I instantly know what shes thinking. But she cant, she musnt. Not over me, im not worth it. That day I stopped her from jumping was the begininning to an amazing life for us. But then when we were going to be husband and wife, I was killed. How could I let that happen, Ive always known if I died it wouldnt take long for her to follow. And vice versa, but I want her to live. I whisper hopelessly "I miss you too. I love you so much it killed me. Dont do this. Move on. I will always be here. I promise." knowing she cant hear me.

*FIONA POV*

Its almost as if I can hear him. Hes trying to stop me again. Like he did on the roof. But he cant stop me this time. I cant hear him, he isnt in this world. He is waiting on the other side. I look at the knife. I kiss the gravestone and lean against it, resting my head on top and closing my eyes. "I love you Daniel. I will be with you soon. You saved me once, but your not here this time. If it werent for you I would be dead. Im on my way my love." And with that I dragged the blade across my throat and wrists. Slowly becoming limp, I see his face in my mind. A bright light. "Daniel? Im here."

"I know baby, I know. You didnt have to be though, now wasnt your time."

"I dont care, I wanted it to be my time." Talking to Daniel spiritually as I die put a small smile on my face, not being able to manage anymore, before everything went black. Im dead. Ill be with the ones I love now, forever. No-one can take them away. Ever.